In first of my memories, I still clearly remember, as a boy of 3 or 4, My Papa getting salutes from the blue-trousers-clad police of Bombay, in the early seventies, when we went for walking in the evenings....! They also gave salute to me as a generous gesture, as they were very fond of My Papa. Who was not fond of him...Everyone was fond of him...Because, he always had a very big heart. He never listened to his brain...He always listened to his heart...And, people found a great man in him, always. In those days, I was first in my studies & other activities like 100 metre dash etc. When I was in KG, I still remember the race I had in my school, to where My Papa had accompanied me. I started off to a flying start & went ahead & separate from the others running in no time...They were all well behind me...Then, that thing happened..I saw some good shaped pebbles on the middle of the running track; I stopped, bent myself & collected all the pebbles on the ground to finish last in the race....! I was happy that I could collect the pebbles...I didn’t give significance to the race over the pebbles... My Papa didn’t tell anything to me but he seemed to be enjoying the situation very well as he must have found the same heart of his beating inside me, putting the brain in a far distant second place...! He laughed & told the story of me & the pebbles for a lot of days wherever he went!
For him his heart was always the most & only important thing in his life. He did whatever his heart told him. He was educated, cultured, well behaved & above all the proud owner of a really BIG HEART! He worked with the Bombay C.I.D first & then joined Standard Batteries. He never hesitated to have a fight with anyone for the things he believed are right. I have heard that he even had bitter fights with the then labour union leader turned Indian Political Stalwart of later years George Fernandez & came out with his beliefs clearly established! He never feared anything & was adamant in his beliefs!
In the evenings, after his work in Standard Batteries, he returned home & went outside, with me following him like a loyal servant. He usually went to some of the liquor shops & had enough of the Burning Oil he wished to have; I was given boiled eggs, ground nuts & Coco Cola, as it was available in India at that time of our existence, as it was much before Morarji Desai banned Coco Cola & other international companies in 1978-79! One day, in one of our strolling in the evening, I grabbed the tail of a dog which was given something to eat at the liquor shop, and pulled with all my might. It responded by putting both of its paws on my face, just missing my eyes! The next day morning, around 3.30am, My Papa took me to some place, travelling on foot & then train, & there I was given a good & tasty ball of something with a bottle of soda that the paws of the dog stamped on my face had no effect! He never accused me or the dog for the incident as he was sure we both were right from our stand points-from the Angle of Heart, as I, as a child, had every right to pull the dog’s tail & the dog had every right to put its paws on my face! We both loved dogs....I always finding some street puppies & taking them home to the anger of My Mom! They were never allowed to enter inside home; hence, I kept them inside the small garden on the other side of my house & fetched something for them, most of the times, with the help of My Papa! We both were declared dog lovers, me & My Papa!
I remember, me watching My Papa going for work in those Bombay Mornings; I remember, I with my tiny friends waiting for My Papa to come home from work near the Victoria Terminus; I remember My Papa going to the famous shrine of Mahim a couple of times a month. I still remember a lot of things of those bygone days with clarity, where he is present, as if all those days were yesterdays! From Bombay he went abroad to Sharja & joined Techon International & we were sent packing to Kerala. He worked in right earnest & gradually found himself in the top most position of the company. He, sitting in his great position, took a lot of people, first his younger brother, then his elder brother’s children & then a lot of locals & those people who had problems in their lives to Gulf & provided them with good job & good salaries. He became PERSIA-KKARAN (THE MAN FROM PERSIA, THOUGH HE WORKED IN UAE!) ANTONY for a generation!
Whenever he came back home from Sharja it was festival in & around our locality. People poured in to meet him & tell their problems....financial problems....personal problems...& what not? He was there to console them & help them out of the problematic situations which they stated they were in! He gave them money without any conditions...And, he gave them a lot.....! He helped them out in all the ways he could. He thought all people were genuine & honest to him and they had innumerable problems, which should be mitigated forever....! He never used his brain to analyse their stories of grief & problem. As he was for all his existence, HE ONLY LISTENED TO HIS HEART-A REALLY BIG ONE! He never calculated though he had a small calculator near to him most of the time! His relatives, his relatives’ relatives, his friends, his friends’ friends, his neighbours, his neighbours’ neighbours, his subordinates, his colleagues and this man & that man and everyman who came to him had his magnanimity felt in their lives! He never asked them anything in return...he gave...he gave ....he gave away without counting & that too in rich abundance! And, he listened ONLY TO HIS HEART, never to his brain, despite having a quite good one!
While at home, resting after a year’s work at Sharja, in the morning he usually started his stroll, after having breakfast @ home, with his 10-15 loyal friends or else we should call them drunkard friends! He paid all the bills they incur in the bars they visited, from morning to late night! He also showered them with enough money that they could live the next 12 months with ease till his arrival from Sharja next time, when they could restart all these things again! It was festival when he was home! When cars were a rarity we had 3 or 4 cars belonging to us. When colour T.Vs, Telephones & Gas Stoves were rarities, we had all these things in our house; we were one of the very few persons around with gas stoves in our house, when gas connections were almost unheard of. I remember people from 1 or 2 kilometres from our house coming to watch T.V & even sleeping in our house, after watching some really special programmes aired in those days! I remember those days when I had to walk one or more kilometres to deliver/pass the message which somebody asked us to deliver to some unknown person/s as the very privileged persons who had telephone @ home! And, the telephone number was ‘413’, just 3 digits & we had to book a ‘Trunk Call’ & wait for an unspecified time to make a call even to Bombay or Sharja!
My Papa had a good collection of Malayalam & Hindi songs (cassettes) which made me like songs & singing! He, I think, had a good voice too, which I heard usually when he went to take bath in the mornings! He sent me stamps of different countries that I own a decent collection. He brought new chess board with magnets attached below the chess coins & presented me with a Yonex bat to play shuttle badminton, the first ever in my locality, way back in 1984! He must have influenced me a lot & molded my character, now I reckon; but I never knew it consciously! We had dogs at home, remembering those good old Bombay days, when 24/7 I followed My Papa, like his shadow, in the evenings. Then, one day he arrived, all of a sudden, from Sharja with just a suitcase full of documents & a small bag of used dress after resigning from his job, as it always had been, LISTENING TO HIS HEART! He was around 45 at that time & that was his declaration of retirement! He must have wanted to live with the family & live on what he had earned till that day. But, what he didn’t calculate was, given his nature, it was to be a Himalayan task to move on as he had been living till that moment! But, he was never to listen to anything other than his heart!
PART 2 FOLLOWS.........
Sunday, March 7, 2010
ANTONY. K. VADUKUT – MY PAPA - PART II !
Things started to change...slowly! Truck load of things, which he used @ Sharja arrived @ Cochin harbour in a couple of months after his return; but that was never to reach our home as listening to some tricky-heart melting story, he had given all those things to one of the subordinates he had in his company, almost for nothing. That shameless man came to our house one day & invited us to his house; we went there in our car and had tea with his family, as a token of his love for the things he got from My Papa! We never met him in our entire life, again! He continued with his spending & he continued helping people as immensely as he had been doing all his life. He believed the money he had earned will last for 3 generations, at the least! He helped people who asked for help & he invested money in businesses where he had little knowledge, only to help people & save them from drastic situations. As usual HE NEVER CALCULATED or LISTENED TO HIS BRAIN! He never distrusted people & was there for them whenever his help was required. But, the people as they are never were thankful to him, as they BELIEVED HIS HELP & INVESTMENT IN THEIR DISASTORUS INVESTMENT PROPOSITIONS AS THEIR BIRTH RIGHT! Most of the time he drew a blank, investing in unknown (to him!) businesses to help people! People who came, asked & had his money for almost free in their businesses cheated him day in & day out; & he continued trusting them as no man has done before! In 3 years almost all the money he had amassed had gone disappearing. His income was almost to nil. His drunkard & disloyal friends still had something or other from him...His friends & relatives too shamelessly squeezed whatever they could from him.....He continued spending the last pennies......!
All his life he had been GIVING; and he never knew or learned to ASK! People ill treated him, cheated him, tricked him right & left.....And he never complained! We, too had our problems & difficulties mounted to Himalayan proportions; My Papa was careless, as he thought there will come a way out, out of the blue.....! But that day never came! Our family struggled...struggled to no end....! As time rolled on nobody was his friend...all the tail wagers had gone into thin air...forever! With his knowledge, experience & efficiency in the managerial sector, he joined Muringur Divine Centre-A religious rehabilitation centre- near Chalakkudy in Thrissur district & involved in the activities there, as a service to the society! As is his efficiency & experience, he rose to a dignified position there, in no time. After spending around 10 or so years @ Muringur, he shifted his work ground to an orphanage in Alway, in Ernakulam district. He was playful always...made & told good jokes as well! Once, when I was on my way to pick one of my friends from the Nedumbassery air port, I saw My Papa going in the direction of Alway on a moped, the same direction I was travelling, where he was staying at that time; we crossed him @ a crowded junction and moved ahead as we were already late. But, when we reached the very next junction we got ourselves into a traffic jam due to a bus accident. As we waited there, I saw My Papa, whom we covered kilometres ago pass us on his moped and vanish in the distance as there was enough room for the moped to move on; I remembered the day I stood picking up the pebbles & lost the race, eons ago in Bombay; I thought he out ran me with his moped! I used to call him on his mobile as I am settled in Bangalore for the last 6 years....Usually, he too called me & we had good chit chat over the phone. But, sometime when I called him he would not take the call; then after some time, may be 1 hour or so, he would call me back.....then, I would not take the call....then, after 15 or 30 minutes I would call him....then he would not respond....It was some sort of a game, like Hide & Seek, I thought he was interested in.....! I voluntarily obliged to My Papa’s game!
I too didn’t fall pretty behind in the games like this; 3 & a half months back, in November 2009, I with my wife Varsha of whom he was very fond of, my sister Reena & my friend whom more than three years ago I went to pick from Nedumbassery Airport when My Papa overtook me on the moped, went to give a surprise visit to My Papa @ the orphanage @ Alway where he was spending his time. I called him up on his mobile 09744830091 & made certain that he would be there when we reach there without intimating him about our imminent arrival. But, when we arrived there he was not there; just 10 minutes ago he had gone to a nearby Ayurvedic Treatment Centre to have a body massage, which he had been undergoing for the previous 3-4 weeks. We told the priest running the orphanage to keep our arrival a secret. He arrived after 30-45 minutes & he was surprised to see all of us there unannounced. We were given food & after spending another hour or so with him we returned!
That was my last visit to Kerala....In the month of November 2009. I was completely involved in the work of the organisation I work for, Unicorns International, all these months. I travelled a lot....I met a lot of people, as usual...Some time I thought of going to Bombay with My Papa again that we could travel the Old Memory Lanes Together Again! One year back, in April or May, I even suggested this to My Papa to which he talked positively. But, the trip didn’t have taken place; hence, I occasionally thought about that. After my return from Kerala in November last, in December My Papa was hospitalised due to some problems with his kidneys. After the treatment he was brought back home to recuperate & regain his health. As Naturopathy was introduced along with Allopathic / English Medicine, he was not given his favourite food items & he was totally restrained from having His Favourite Burning Oil! He didn’t like all this.... He complained against the uselessness of the treatment without giving him his wish list of food items! He didn’t like Allopathic or Naturopathic Medicine. As he was The Man of His Heart & never his brain, he wished aloud for his favourite dishes & didn’t like to take medicine. Then, he had a scar on his left foot, due to scratching & it didn’t cure as he had Diabetes and he refused taking medicine regularly. As usual, he talked with people who came to see him with a pleasant face, as he had been doing all his life. I remember, his face was pleasant always.....in good weather & in bad...the pleasantness was always there!
On 2nd of this month (March, 2010) I was travelling on train to Kerala again. At 9.58am, sitting inside the Island Express, I selected My Papa’s mobile number 09744830091 on my mobile & pressed the call button for a second & disconnected it the very next second. I thought, I should not inform him of my coming to meet him....Sometime he might not take my call as he may play his favourite game of Hide & Seek with me. Why should I give him a surprise as he would surely be waiting for me there at home.......? In the night of March 1st he had asked My Mom to fetch his slippers that he was going, to which My Mom told something in the negative & went to take bath. But, when she came back My Papa was gone....Never to wait for My Mom to bring the slippers for him! He knew he was going; that’s why he asked for his slippers...He simply went to the other side....HE DID WHAT HIS HEART TOLD HIM.......He never listened to others & his brain and when he felt like doing something, HE DID THAT...ONLY LISTENING TO HIS HEART! He walked from this life to another one wearing no slippers, with a pleasant face, registering complaints against no one & listening only to his heart, that too A REALLY RARE & BIG ONE! But, he forgot to take his calculator with him as he went walking with no slippers on, as I found out when I reached home; it was placed forgotten on my cot, in my room; of course, of what use it had been for him in his life? Hence, it can be that My Papa might have left it on my cot deliberately.
When I reached home he was lying down in the coffin, waiting for me .........his eldest son with whom he played games of various sorts....in time....I thought this one another game of sorts he invented to surprise all....After a couple of minutes of my arrival the coffin was lifted & I held the coffin on the right side of My Papa’s head....the face was pleasant as usual....He lied there well dressed with shoes on, no slippers. He weighed quite a lot & we were 8 persons who carried the coffin & only I understood that it was the weight of his REALLY BIG HEART. Then we reached the parish church & after the rituals inside the church went to the grave yard for the LAST PART OF MY PAPA’s MORTAL JOURNEY. The coffin was lowered near his grave & then the lid of the coffin was closed & the coffin was lowered into the grave & the grave was closed. My Papa -Not My Papa whom I knew- was there inside the grave but My Papa I knew, I realised, was somewhere around.....He might ring me up from somewhere someday to plan about our much delayed journey together to the Memory Lanes of Bombay... I realise, when the next time I go to the airport @ Nedumbassery I might see My Papa overtaking me on his moped... I know, when & if we go to the orphanage he spent his time @ Alway again, we will be told that My Papa has gone outside just now and will return soon, to be surprised by our visit. And, when he fails to pick up my call on his mobile 09744830091, I know pretty well that he is playing his usual games with me, as My Papa had been all my life and he will ring me up after some time.....!
All his life he had been GIVING; and he never knew or learned to ASK! People ill treated him, cheated him, tricked him right & left.....And he never complained! We, too had our problems & difficulties mounted to Himalayan proportions; My Papa was careless, as he thought there will come a way out, out of the blue.....! But that day never came! Our family struggled...struggled to no end....! As time rolled on nobody was his friend...all the tail wagers had gone into thin air...forever! With his knowledge, experience & efficiency in the managerial sector, he joined Muringur Divine Centre-A religious rehabilitation centre- near Chalakkudy in Thrissur district & involved in the activities there, as a service to the society! As is his efficiency & experience, he rose to a dignified position there, in no time. After spending around 10 or so years @ Muringur, he shifted his work ground to an orphanage in Alway, in Ernakulam district. He was playful always...made & told good jokes as well! Once, when I was on my way to pick one of my friends from the Nedumbassery air port, I saw My Papa going in the direction of Alway on a moped, the same direction I was travelling, where he was staying at that time; we crossed him @ a crowded junction and moved ahead as we were already late. But, when we reached the very next junction we got ourselves into a traffic jam due to a bus accident. As we waited there, I saw My Papa, whom we covered kilometres ago pass us on his moped and vanish in the distance as there was enough room for the moped to move on; I remembered the day I stood picking up the pebbles & lost the race, eons ago in Bombay; I thought he out ran me with his moped! I used to call him on his mobile as I am settled in Bangalore for the last 6 years....Usually, he too called me & we had good chit chat over the phone. But, sometime when I called him he would not take the call; then after some time, may be 1 hour or so, he would call me back.....then, I would not take the call....then, after 15 or 30 minutes I would call him....then he would not respond....It was some sort of a game, like Hide & Seek, I thought he was interested in.....! I voluntarily obliged to My Papa’s game!
I too didn’t fall pretty behind in the games like this; 3 & a half months back, in November 2009, I with my wife Varsha of whom he was very fond of, my sister Reena & my friend whom more than three years ago I went to pick from Nedumbassery Airport when My Papa overtook me on the moped, went to give a surprise visit to My Papa @ the orphanage @ Alway where he was spending his time. I called him up on his mobile 09744830091 & made certain that he would be there when we reach there without intimating him about our imminent arrival. But, when we arrived there he was not there; just 10 minutes ago he had gone to a nearby Ayurvedic Treatment Centre to have a body massage, which he had been undergoing for the previous 3-4 weeks. We told the priest running the orphanage to keep our arrival a secret. He arrived after 30-45 minutes & he was surprised to see all of us there unannounced. We were given food & after spending another hour or so with him we returned!
That was my last visit to Kerala....In the month of November 2009. I was completely involved in the work of the organisation I work for, Unicorns International, all these months. I travelled a lot....I met a lot of people, as usual...Some time I thought of going to Bombay with My Papa again that we could travel the Old Memory Lanes Together Again! One year back, in April or May, I even suggested this to My Papa to which he talked positively. But, the trip didn’t have taken place; hence, I occasionally thought about that. After my return from Kerala in November last, in December My Papa was hospitalised due to some problems with his kidneys. After the treatment he was brought back home to recuperate & regain his health. As Naturopathy was introduced along with Allopathic / English Medicine, he was not given his favourite food items & he was totally restrained from having His Favourite Burning Oil! He didn’t like all this.... He complained against the uselessness of the treatment without giving him his wish list of food items! He didn’t like Allopathic or Naturopathic Medicine. As he was The Man of His Heart & never his brain, he wished aloud for his favourite dishes & didn’t like to take medicine. Then, he had a scar on his left foot, due to scratching & it didn’t cure as he had Diabetes and he refused taking medicine regularly. As usual, he talked with people who came to see him with a pleasant face, as he had been doing all his life. I remember, his face was pleasant always.....in good weather & in bad...the pleasantness was always there!
On 2nd of this month (March, 2010) I was travelling on train to Kerala again. At 9.58am, sitting inside the Island Express, I selected My Papa’s mobile number 09744830091 on my mobile & pressed the call button for a second & disconnected it the very next second. I thought, I should not inform him of my coming to meet him....Sometime he might not take my call as he may play his favourite game of Hide & Seek with me. Why should I give him a surprise as he would surely be waiting for me there at home.......? In the night of March 1st he had asked My Mom to fetch his slippers that he was going, to which My Mom told something in the negative & went to take bath. But, when she came back My Papa was gone....Never to wait for My Mom to bring the slippers for him! He knew he was going; that’s why he asked for his slippers...He simply went to the other side....HE DID WHAT HIS HEART TOLD HIM.......He never listened to others & his brain and when he felt like doing something, HE DID THAT...ONLY LISTENING TO HIS HEART! He walked from this life to another one wearing no slippers, with a pleasant face, registering complaints against no one & listening only to his heart, that too A REALLY RARE & BIG ONE! But, he forgot to take his calculator with him as he went walking with no slippers on, as I found out when I reached home; it was placed forgotten on my cot, in my room; of course, of what use it had been for him in his life? Hence, it can be that My Papa might have left it on my cot deliberately.
When I reached home he was lying down in the coffin, waiting for me .........his eldest son with whom he played games of various sorts....in time....I thought this one another game of sorts he invented to surprise all....After a couple of minutes of my arrival the coffin was lifted & I held the coffin on the right side of My Papa’s head....the face was pleasant as usual....He lied there well dressed with shoes on, no slippers. He weighed quite a lot & we were 8 persons who carried the coffin & only I understood that it was the weight of his REALLY BIG HEART. Then we reached the parish church & after the rituals inside the church went to the grave yard for the LAST PART OF MY PAPA’s MORTAL JOURNEY. The coffin was lowered near his grave & then the lid of the coffin was closed & the coffin was lowered into the grave & the grave was closed. My Papa -Not My Papa whom I knew- was there inside the grave but My Papa I knew, I realised, was somewhere around.....He might ring me up from somewhere someday to plan about our much delayed journey together to the Memory Lanes of Bombay... I realise, when the next time I go to the airport @ Nedumbassery I might see My Papa overtaking me on his moped... I know, when & if we go to the orphanage he spent his time @ Alway again, we will be told that My Papa has gone outside just now and will return soon, to be surprised by our visit. And, when he fails to pick up my call on his mobile 09744830091, I know pretty well that he is playing his usual games with me, as My Papa had been all my life and he will ring me up after some time.....!
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