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GREAT VIEWS!

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Monday, July 5, 2010

SORRIES FOR THE DEAD & MORE BULLSHIT FOR THE LIVING!

Bhopal Gas Tragedy ‘struck or (made) happened in 1984’, and the people of India, including the numerous central & state governments, have continuously been fighting for JUSTICE FOR THE DEAD – A very simple number of 25000+ Only! - & THE LIVING (LIVING DEAD?!)! After more than a quarter of a century, the case has ‘come to a naught’ (KNOT!?) & Our Great Investigators are still finding (even after quarter of a century!!!) thousands of ‘skeletons in the cupboards’ of thousands of people, ‘who were not even born at the time of the MAN-MADE DISASTER’!

Peruman Rail Disaster struck more than 20 years back taking scores of lives & the expert investigating team found out that it was all due to a Tornado, which came from nowhere & disappeared ( USING A SPACE SHIP OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!) just after the business it came to do! The investigation report is NOW USED AS A TEXT BOOK IN SCOTLAND YARD, AS ‘A GREAT EXAMPLE OF HOW STUPID AN INVESTIGATION CAN BECOME’ ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD!

Kashmir problem was created when Jawaharlal Nehru declared a unilateral ceasefire in the United Nations before taking back the usurped Indian Territory from our good old neighbour, Pakistan! Since then Indians have regularly been sacrificing their lives in & on Kashmir.....! A large number of investigations – READ ANALYSES!- have been spent into the ‘UNDERSTANDING OF THE KASHMIR ISSUE’ ALL THESE YEARS, all of them presenting with myriads of options! And, compensations are regularly sent to the victims of the ‘Kashmir Cause’!

Bombay Blasts of 1990s happened with scores of casualty & the loss of crores of rupees. There came Our Dear Great Investigators Of Yore & started their all-involved-all-finding mission of investigation! THEY FOUND OUT SOME THOUSANDS OF ‘VERY RELEVANT POINTS OF INFORMATION’ WHICH WERE ‘OF NO USE’! All the lost lives were never given back & THE LOST & DEAD REMAINED THE LOST & DEAD, TILL DATE!

Scores of Indians were lost in the Pak-Initiated & Promoted Kargil War. To find out the REASONS OF KARGIL, a lot of analysts & investigators have been SPENT! They got their own answers & reports & they even submitted them before the SO & SOs of the SO & SOs and OTHER SO & SOs! As a ceremony, compensations were sent to ....................(READ INNUMERABLE VICTIMS & MARTYRS!) & GROUPS OF INVESTIGATORS & ANALYSTS WERE KEPT READY FOR ANY FURTHER EVENTUALITY, 24x7!

The Indian Parliament attack was done ceremoniously by some good-intended people (From the Pak View Point!), and India lost a couple of people here as well! The investigators arrived on the scene after all the damage is done & declared that the attack was due to the negligence from the authorities, who ceremoniously & carelessly treated the warning signals (As has been happening from time immemorial in India, where all the warnings are thrown into the waste bin the very next second they are submitted and where the warning reports & warning signals are submitted or given ONLY to be thrown into the waste basket!) sent by the various intelligence agencies -who all did this stupid thing of ignoring security agency warnings, when exactly these warning reports were sent, who all are responsible for the security lapse etc are ceremoniously never told & were totally forgotten!- & the carelessness shown (BY WHOM? Is Never Mentioned!)!

Mumbai Attack (26/11) was well planned & well executed by the Pakistan-Based Forces, while India was caught off-guard once again and India lost around 200 of its precious human beings. Again the investigators appeared from nowhere & started the blame game, as usual. They pointed out what could have happened & what should have done to prevent what had already happened and what all misses & mistakes had been committed that this scale of a tragedy occurred etc! Sharp Analyses & Investigations (And of course, with the extremely valuable recommendations, suggestions etc) were done and the tragedy was swept under the carpet!

Around 50 people died @ Thekkady when the boat they travelled in the Periyar River capsized last year & the people who should have kept the life of those who come there for site-seeing & boat journey safe failed to do so & as they have done a million times DELIBERATELY FORGOT what at the least to be done to safeguard the human beings in the THEKKADY ATMOSPHERE! Swarms of Investigators landed there after the tragedy struck & found out numberless reasons from the Colour of the Water in Thekkady to the Design of the Shirt the boat driver worn on the fateful day!

Andhra Chief Minister died last year in an air plane crash of which a number of INVESTIGATIONS & ANALYSES WERE MADE! And, hundreds of reports were made qualitatively! The investigators found this, that and a million other things for the tragedy in which Andra Pradesh lost one of its greatest leaders. The great investigators also suggested some great & exquisitely intelligent measures by which ‘ANYBODY INTERESTED’ CAN SAVE ANOTHER CHIEF MINISTER ‘NEXT TIME’!

Then happened the Mangalore Aircraft Tragedy, which made all on board the ill-fated flight casualties....scores died in this tragedy too..... Sheer negligence from the authority’s side, shortness of the runway, fatal errors from the pilots & a million things were dug out by Our Dear Investigators who arrived after the tragedy! But, as usual, the Term ‘Authorities’ remained Undefined & Unnamed and the dead pilots never spoke in defense! (And the Investigators took the very next flight after their THREAD BARE ANALYSIS!)

Carlton Towers in Bangalore followed all these tragedies with great enthusiasm & there too a number of innocent persons lost their lives due to sheer negligence from the authority’s side, building owner’s side & most importantly FROM THE SIDE OF THE FIRE FIGHTERS, WHO ‘SUPPOSEDLY CAME THERE TO RESCUE’ THE PEOPLE TRAPPED IN THE FIRE-LIT, BURNING BUILDING! HERE TOO ‘THE SINFULLY NEGLIGENT AUTHORITIES & FIRE FIGHTERS REMAINED FACELESS & IDENTITYLESS & EVEN FIGURELESS’! Of course, Our Dear Investigators were there to find out who all erred & what could have been if that could have been THIS & this could have been THAT!

In India, Investigation (OR Scientific Analysis Of Any Disaster Happened!) means ‘thinking about what would have been & what would not have been after a tragedy where losses are severe & disastrous’..................where "WHAT IS TO BE" IS ALWAYS THE CASUALITY! In India, everything is fine & under perfect control till the moment something happens severely disastrous; and 'these somethings' happen quite often & quite effortlessly that India has become A MUCH HAPPENING PLACE!

It is very pathetic to know that even after more than 62 years of independence India & Indians have FAILED MISERABLY TO LEARN such simple things as “Prevention is better than cure”, “A stitch in time saves nine!” etc! Any potentially problematic situation in India is always 'under consideration & analysis' when it is of common men & these "under consideration' can go on for ever & ever till eternity! And, Indians always like to learn things ONLY BY GOING THROUGH TRAGEDIES, SUFFERING LIKE ANYTHING & LOSING THINGS WHICH CAN NEVER BE COMPENSATED! It is also interesting to know that this learning lasts only for a couple of moments that THEY CAN LEARN THE SAME THING AGAIN BY GOING THROUGH ALL THE TRAGIC THINGS THEY HAVE ALREADY GONE THROUGH A MILLION TIMES, AGAIN!

It is really great of all the Indians that they are very thankful IF THEY GET SORRIES FOR THE DEAD - THEY ARE VERY PROFICIENT IN THIS KIND OF EXCHANGE! - as they know pretty well that ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE DEAD & LOST ARE COMPENSATED BY ‘GIVING BACK THEIR LOST LIVES’& INDIANS HAVE 9 LIVES! But the only things they ardently insist on are Investigators & Investigations after every disaster! Who thinks there are no investigators in 105 crores of Indians, who can find out a million reasons for any type of tragedy?!

ANOTHER 13 OF MY QUOTES!

1) “Rainless Monsoons Will Be The Oder Of The Day If We Continue Cutting Trees Incessantly & Senselessly!”

2) “In India, everything is fine & under perfect control till the moment something happens severely disastrous; and 'these somethings' happen quite often & quite effortlessly that India has become a MUCH HAPPENING PLACE!”

3) “No Trees...No Rains....No Rains....No Water....No Water....No Life!”

4) YOU PLANT 'SOMETHING', 'SOMETHING' WILL GROW!
YOU DO 'SOMETHING', 'SOMETHING' WILL BE DONE!
YOU PLANT 'NOTHING', 'NOTHING' WILL GROW!
YOU DO 'NOTHING', 'NOTHING' WILL BE DONE!

5) “PEOPLE ‘USE DOUBTS’ AS A TOOL ‘NOT TO DO THINGS’ WHICH THEY DON'T WANT TO DO!”

6) “Life....! The simplest thing in the universe........But made complicated by the ever complicating mechanism called MIND!”

7) "When people think life is complicated it automatically becomes complex for them...And when they think its simple its simple for them...And the thought for the day and the days to come is "you decide which sort of life you want..!"

8) “Simplicity - it’s a great thing to know that life is simple.....it was and it will be...!”

9) "Quality or rather the obvious lack of it is the bane of the present generation students!"

10) "When the curriculum, teachers, universities, teaching methods & the learning environment are based/deep rooted in inefficiency, irresponsibility, lack of quality, lack of vision and a million stupidities, it would be a Himalayan Blunder to expect something Quality-Wise 'HIGH CLASS' from the present day student!"

11) "If the syllabus the college students learn is stupidly substandard, the training imparted from the colleges stupidly negative, the standard of the teachers teaching them abysmally low and the knowledge they get from education almost insignificant & out of date, how one will RAISE ONESELF to the international quality standards which today's jobseeker direct from college requires?"

12) "These 'idiots' (qualityless & unlearned students!) are fit for nothing but assume that it is their stupid right to become another Narayana Murthy or Bill Gates! These stupid monkeys try to ape 'the well-known' in any field and 'profess' THEY DREAM BIG! But these idiots never know Monkeys & Donkeys are destined to be Monkeys & Donkeys!"

13) “In India investigation means thinking about what would have been & what would not have been after a tragedy, where losses are severe & disastrous..................where "WHAT IS TO BE" IS ALWAYS THE CASUALITY!”

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Nuclear Material, Indian Currency & The Fear Factor!

Whenever I get a 100, 500 or 1000 rupee note, I run to the near by CBI office & consult an expert in the currency department & force an assertion that it is not a counterfeit note! Or else, I even fear to breathe in & out and take my cup of pesticide-filled tea! And, of late, I start to tremble whenever I get or handle a note which’s denomination is 100 or more! Nothing in life I fear more than handling these notes, now a days!

I often have nightmares in which I find myself standing on a tower trying to prove that the notes I gave were not fake ones & if they were, they were not printed on the note-printing machine, which is quite common a commodity traded openly in the market & even on the footpath! But, luckily, I manage to wake up when the situation goes out of my control, when I fail to prove to those all around me in the dream that I am not a note printing machine! In the dream, the blind man always tells me that the onus is on me to prove that I am not the person who printed the note, I am not the man who bought the strictly & confidentially traded paper on which the note is printed, I am not the person who designed the so-complicated note, I am not the person who ever had an idea to print a fake note myself, I am not the man who ever wished to cheat people and one's country & ‘another hundreds of I am not the persons’! I tremble non-stop when I think of the condition in which I might fail to wake up from the nightmare!

I have heard about the persons, who all their lives fruitlessly tried to prove their innocence, behind the bars of interrogation cells! Of course, most of them didn’t have the machinery to prove they didn’t do the printing & publishing of the great art work they are supposedly have done - the Indian rupee! In life, they must have learned real time that proving a wrong assumption wrong is more difficult than proving the Mount Everest the highest point on earth, in Indian Quality Conditions!

We have to understand that it is so simple to make & distribute fake Indian currency as the trusted banking system (but it is a FACT that they never asked anyone to trust them!) too is an integral part of it, as has been proven by the seizure of crores of rupee worth fake Indian currency from a branch of a well reputed bank in north India just a year ago! And, we as Indians should be happy to know that this well reputed bank have hundreds of branches all over India that we all can have our share of fake Indian currency, as nobody in India should complain against segregation in the matter of Counterfeit Currency Handling & Circulation!

We have been told by our own governments, all these years that they have been trying hard to counter billions of dollars worth Black/Parallel Economy in India which is a creation of Our Good Old Neighbor Pakistan & Our Good Old Neighbor Prints Billions Of Indian Rupee Worth Indian Fake Currency and Distribute through their well established Indian lanes & by lanes! We, as Indians, trust our government! Our sensible government also canceled an order they had given to a western company when it came it to be known that this company was selling the machines, on which we printed our trusted currency, to our dear & trusted neighbor as well! Despite all this when a person ever gives ‘An Unknowing Fake Note' to some Mind Reader who can read the notes as well, that ‘Single Note Owner's life’ goes for a toss! From then on, for him, the Sun rises in the west & life is far miserable compared to hell! It’s interesting to note that in all these years thousands have lost their hard earned money when the Same Morally Integral Banks Tore Away or Put In The Incinerator the Fake Notes which they identified with their Sharply -Trained Eagle-Eyes! No one is given equal amount of money in return, ever, as it has been 'Considered By The Authorities Concerned' that ALL THE EVIL NOTES SHOULD BE DESTROYED MERCILESSLY & THE PERSON WHO SUBMITTED THEM SHOULD SUFFER INSUFFERABLY!

Just to get kicks out of it, THE EAGLE-EYED BANKS HAVE ALSO INSTALLED FAKE-CURRENCY-PROVIDING ATMs that they can effortlessly circulate fake currency to THE NON-EAGLE-EYED COMMONOR and trap him for ever when he submits the same fake notes provided by these sadists somewhere, & crucify him thread-bare! [One can prevent this situation, they say, if 1) one keeps the transaction receipt with oneself, 2) remember the Taxi cab number one travelled in - memories of Ramanujan-Hardy?! - while going to take the single fake hundred rupee note, 3) remember the colour of the underwear the sleeping ATM guard worn which sneaked out of his low-waist pants, 4) remember the number of steps - memories of Sherlock Holems-Dr.Watson?! - in front of the step-less counterfeit currency provider ATM etc!] Of course it is an interesting game where the TV channels too can play their scoops & trivia about the fake note, the fake-note submitter’s love affair, his interests & non-interests, the fake note & its philosophical angle & ‘NEWS-LIKELY PROMOTE THE BRAND OF THE ATM MACHINE’, from where the fake note ‘IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE COME OUT’ & THE BRAND OF THE MACHINE WHICH IDENTIFIED THE SINGLE FAKE NOTE WITH DEXTERITY!

When the Real Culprit Is/Can’t Be Found, It Has Become The Duty Of The Authorities To Nail Someone Who Does Not Have The Means & Strength To Defend himself, and make him sing like a canary! Carrying a revolver, knife, bomb, nuclear material, Indian currency etc & their use falls under the same kind of unpardonable offense, which all will be & have to be dealt with the capital punishment!! Indian currency denominations of more than Rs100, if one is bent on carrying & using them, have to be certified by a gazetted officer not less than in the rank of the governor of a state or the RBI governor! My Papa said in his days it was not dangerous to carry & use Indian currency and in those days while carrying currency they only had to fear the local thieves or the very local pick-pockets! But today a person who carries it should fear all & sundry including the police, CBI, interrogation cells & all the other sort of mechanisms & be prepared to die proving one's innocence, taking hundreds of years, as when there is suspicion in India, it means it is an established fact! And, here in India we have a well established (time-tested!) expert system & machinery which can even prove an Indian monkey is the nearest kin of a polar bear and snakes & donkeys are brothers and sisters, and they arrived from Mars & Venus, respectively!!