The Cultural Revolution in India!

All of a sudden there is a surge in the number of Cultural Upholders & Moral Police in the Secular Indian Republic! Now a day, in India it is stated that "It rains Moralists & Culturalists!" They are having a field day, all over India! And, the Anti Social Elements like lovers, pub-goers, socialites, born-free-men & the likes are running for covers as this Moral Brigade marches ahead against all that is Lawful, Low-Abiding & Orderly! All the Moral Police is Hooting is about the Indian Culture & the invasion of other cultures! And, these people also claim that they have the support of a large chunk of the Indian Society, which is so concerned about its culture getting eroded!

If these people are really bent on CLEANSING the ALIEN CULTURES, they should start with the cleansing of whatever is left of the Aryan Culture, which literally destroyed the Ancient Culture of India (Which is One of the Oldest in the World!), Dravidian Culture, which was existing in the Indus Valley, long before the Aryans Arrived from central Asia and destroyed it! And, if these Culturalists really want to start the Cleansing, it is better they start a war against Pakistan, as most of the areas where Indus Valley Civilisation thrived is now in the possession of the nation, Pakistan! It is always better they start at the roots; and, one can be sure that these Moral Preachers will catch the next bus to Pakistan to Really start Their Divine Job of Cleansing the Indian Culture! It is also heard that these Moral Police is spending billions (Sorry, we should use Lakhs & Crores instead of Billions, as it is against the Indian Culture!) to invent a Time Machine (Sorry again, as it should be "Samay Ka Gaadi! Or it should be something else, as Hindi too is from an alien culture-Aryan!) that they can go to past & CORRECT THINGS to their choice & wisdom!

We should altogether STOP (Or else they will make us stop!) using machines like bicycles, computers, vehicles, television, refrigerator, air planes, telephone, microphones, loudspeakers, digital calculator, mobile phone, Pepsi, Coco Cola, Vicks, Anti Cancer Drugs, Drugs of the Foren (Instead of Foreign!) Drug Companies and we should stop playing Cricket (Developed & Promoted by the British!) and most of all other games, as all of them are of alien cultures and should STOP learning physics, chemistry, psychology, electronics, zoology, genetics, economics etc. as they all are from alien cultures! People SHOULD STOP drinking Soda Water as it is against Indian Culture! We should NEVER USE photography, print media, steel, plastic, internet etc., as all these things belong to Foren (Instead of Foreign!) Cultures! We Should CALL BACK all the Indians who have gone outside the country to find a job or whatever and force them to settle in India (Let them live here as jobless but cultured!) or else we should label them as OUT CASTS and terminate their Indian citizenship, as they are NOT AT ALL SUPPOSED TO CROSS THE OCEANS OF INDIAN CULTURE!

We should START PROMOTING Bullock Cart Racing and start promoting Bullock Cart Fast Travel! We should ONLY write things in 'Olaas' (Leaves) instead of paper and we should ONLY USE PIGEONS as our 'Letter (Sorry, 'Olaa' or Letters written on Leaves!) Carriers'; we SHOULD NEVER TREAT ANY DEADLY MALADY but have to go in search of the sorcerer or black magician who cures all these things! On should never wear anything created by power looms and one should always wear (If possible!) ONLY LOIN CLOTH, as it perfectly fits with our moral policy of cultural promotion and of course, loin cloth is 100% Indian (Make sure it is NOT MADE on Power looms to avoid the wrath of the Moral Police!) We should never learn things other than those same things learned by those people who lived three or four thousand years back! We should be as backward as those people thousands of years back were; or else (Even if we are a wee bit advanced than those people) it will heavily infuriate the Moral Police! And, we can not hold the Moral Police responsible for whatever they do in the RAGE TO INSTALL/REINSTALL our EXACT CULTURE, which existed four or five or six thousand years back! Don’t doubt their Moral Integrity!

As is our Indian Culture (According to the Very Right -Pun Not Intended- Moral Police!) we should promote the OLDEST PROFESSION as we had that institution running in hordes in our culture, long back! We should start giving SEXUAL LESSONS (Even Practical!) to the girls aged 8 or 9, if they are FAT ENOUGH, based on our VERY CULTURAL KAMA SUTRA! We should, in effect & by force, restart, in a large scale, the Devadasi System and we should promote Child and if possible Kid Marriages, as they all strictly belong to Our Culture! We should Forcefully Restart the BEAUTIFUL CULTURAL ITEM 'SATI' (In which the living wife (Widow) throws herself to the pyre of her deceased husband!) and develop our Indian Culture (Let the British be Dammed - as they belonged to another culture! - who along with Raja Ram Mohan Roy somewhat finished off this BEAUTIFUL CULTURAL JEWEL OF INDIA - 'SATI!') We should start schools where our girls are made to LEARN THE TECHNIQS of SEDUCTION (Where the GANIGAS/Professionals for the flesh trade were made!), as was the case with The GOOD OLDEN DAYS! We should always do whatever is done in Those Good Old Days and say great things about our women folk and keep them always subservient!

We should say we think & respect women/girls as Goddesses, as it is in our CULTURE, and at the same time behave towards them as Instruments of Pleasure & Thankless Service! Hence, when a group of women is molested in front of their family, in Our Financial Capital on the new years' eve and the photographs of that heinous act are spread the width & breadth of our country, when in a Mangalore Pub girls are beaten into pulp by the hooligans, in full media glare, when a girl of barely fifteen is raped & killed in Goa, WE SHOULD TRUST the MORAL POLICE'S saying and report that “ALL THOSE CULTURELESS PEOPLE WERE TAUGHT A LESSON BY THE MORALITY UP KEEPERS!”