MALAYALI - THE ENLIGHTENED KERALITE!

Secular India's one & only religiously created district is in Kerala, and that too happened way back in 1967! An Extremely Inactive Opposition Party & A Hyper Active Ruling Party are some of the special things the state offers! Ardent Opposition & Feverish No to Tractor, Computer, Pre-Degree Board, Smart City, Express High Way etc. first & then Fervent Implementation of the same by the same people who opposed it tooth & nail has been written in golden letters in Kerala History!

Universities where ONLY DIRTY POLITICTS IS TAUGHT & MADE IMBIBED FORCEFULLY 24/7 are Kerala Specialities! At Kerala Places like Parambikulam, Mullapperiyar etc. respective governments of Kerala always waited for the permission from their GOOD FRIEND Tamilnadu to come 24/7 even for removing a bag of sand from the dam sites they own! And, vehicles from Kerala continue to enter Kerala's own Parambikulam via Tamilnadu, paying taxes to Tamilnadu to enter Kerala’s own land! Water from Kerala dams is unobtrusively & slyly channelized to Tamilnadu, all these years, with the knowledge & tacit support of the respective governments- Inaction that is the ENLIGHTENED MOTTO!

Extremely Inactive and Idle group of people who depend on others outside God's Own Country for everything, including vegetables & food items, NEVER EVER USING hundreds of thousands of hectors of very fertile land is another Kerala Special! Wastefully consuming water, earth & forest and giving back nothing to Nature, finding no time even to plant a tree, but finding more than enough time to fell a number of trees just for fun, Enlightened Malayalees gleefully move on! It is a place where LEACHEROUS CONSUMPTION is an extremely favourite past time and WORK IS SITTING IDLE & IDLENESS RELIGION! Irresponsible Education System developed exclusively by the Enlightened People of God’s Own Country, where, once, EVEN POLICE PERSONNEL EVALUATED ANSWER SHEETS OF COLLEGE STUDENTS, & recovered hundreds of answer sheets of Highly Unfortunate Students from the water tanks of A Particular University months after the evaluation of Star Crossed Students got finished and the results declared -1986 to be specific!-, is nothing but Kerala Model Enlightenment!

Kerala Is God’s Own Country Where Adulteration & Selling spurious & duplicate things are a fad; it is a place where government employees behave as these were Good Old Royal Days & They Are True Royal Blood; it is where red-tapism is a celebrated virtue & of course IDLENESS THE NATURE! It is also Hartal /Bandh’s Own Country Where a Couple of Illegal Bandhs & Hartals (Name Changed to escape The All Seeing Eyes of Indian Courts) a week is a part of anything existing in Kerala! It is where for under 5 hours of lazy-work people charge a very low daily wage of 300-400 Indian rupees, where these 5 hours are spent to paint only ONE SIDE OF A WINDOW PANE, hence making it Lazy Workers’ Own Country! It is a great place where AC theatres seldom switch ACs on after charging for AC!

It is a good place where Enlightened Boot Lickers ascend ‘the Future Moulding Institutions’ like Schools, Colleges etc, where quality is a PIOUS WORD of which's Meaning Nobody knows & people in the TOTAL LACK OF KNOWLEDGE take decisions of extreme significance; and it is a place where the Enlightened Ones don’t even know a THING CALLED TIME exists! It is a happening place where Every Happening Is An Accident! Here is the place where policy makers are WELL -UN-AWARE OF what they are doing! Here the Enlightened Ones talk KILOMETRES & KILOGRAMS ABOUT NOTHING! It is a place where all types of scandals, tricks, swindles, cheating and the likes are played out every second & LIFE IS LIVED ACCORDING TO SOME STUPID'S FOOLISH IDEOLOGY! It is a great place where the Mother Tongue is LOOKED DOWN UPON & A GATHERING OF TWO ENLIGHTENED MALAYALEES IS THE WORLD PARLIAMENT OF UNNECESSARY, INSIGNIFICANT, NEVER ENDING & USELESS DEBATE & ARGUMENT!

It is a wonderful happening place where neighbours pour boiled water onto the planted saplings of the neighbour's plants & accuse the demons of night [Particularly the poor Marutha-A Form of Evil Spirit, Njavanengadan-Another Form of Very Local Evil Spirit, Kozhiyum Makkalum (Hen & Chicks - The other form of a Local Deity!), Thervazhca & company] for the sudden decaying & demise of the sapling! Here we see & meet millions of Enlightened Minds/Mindsets Which Never See or Appreciate Quality in Any Form-Here Quality Is Kicked Out As Evil! It is a land of Enlightened Ones Where Mediocrity & Banality are the topics of most of the modern day ballad and creativity is almost dead & work ethics totally destroyed! It is the only place on our mother Earth where PEOPLE ARE EXTREMELY BUSY DOING NOTHING & life is the very basics of a human life like FOOD, SHELTER, CLOTHING & A LOT OF GAS!

THE MALAYALI OUTSIDE GOD’S OWN COUNTRY!
The Malayali Outside is some what different; there, he/she is an extremely well-made & efficient creature, well known for his/her education, knowledge & culture! Nobody looks beyond this peripheral beauty of Malayali! The selfish giant that he/she is, will impose upon anyone who is ready to be imposed upon & start the work of sucking off the sap of the imposed one till that point where the imposed one is not in a state of any use to the imposter; then, he/she moves to another hapless creature, to impose on him/her. He/she feigns knowledge, culture & education even in the fields where he/she doesn’t know even the ABCDs!

She will claim that it is because some one switched on the mixer grinder or an iron box one & a half kilometre from where she stands, the power has gone in their locality & the strongest of acids is human urine, which will definitely find some takers, due to the HEARD-KNOWLEDGE of the MALAYALEES! In the case of living in separate houses, it is always better TWO MALAYALEES live at the least with another one – anyone other than a Malayali- between their houses, lest that locality will never see peace again!

She will use water wastefully, as they are used to in their God’s Own Country, and pretend to he very highly conscious of Cleanliness & Hygiene, despite being extremely poor about these two very important things! She will take bath twice a day & remain unclean most of the day. She seldom uses her hand kerchief & uses some other means to wipe off her running nose! She/he talks aloud about the incompetence the Malayalees have in the matter of English Language & make parodies mocking them; he/she learns to MIMICK a couple of words in English & parrot English in unnecessary places & in awkward situations like where there are no English Speakers! If another Malayali (Trying hard To Become An Enlightened One), who is low in confidence, as far as Spoken English is concerned, speaks or asks something in Malayalam to One of the Enlightened Ones, he/she will pretend that he/she is from America & Speak Chinese English with strong Sinhalese Accent, which no one in the world can understand!

And, it is a pleasure & pain, at the same time, to watch this Great Selfish-Malayali Outside God’s Own Country of Yore move forward, helping no one but oneself, losing a lot and gaining only a trifle in the matter of Real Education, that is LIFE!