The Common Men Who Owned Audis!

Petrol prices have been in the ascendency all these years and the last straw that broke the Common Camel's Back was the 7.5 rupee rise brought in by the Non Common Man Friendly (That is what the media & all the opposition parties tell, 24/7, non stop!) UPA 2! The very existence of the common man of India is seriously under question, after this HIMALAYAN HIKE of 7.5 rupees, we are told; and, we believe what we are told!

It was a HUGE SHOCK to the common men all over the country that the very next second they heard about the price increase they started to burn the effigies of the petroleum minister, the prime minister, the OPEC president, the president of the United Nations -as they were sure that the UN should have a president at the least that they could happily burn his/her effigy, at their leisure!-, the local petrol bunk owner, the petrol tanker driver and the boy (Ofcourse, under aged, as IT IS INDIA, where law is one & the practice totally different!) who filled the petrol tanks of a million vehicles! From A to Z politician from all the opposition parties & ofcourse some of the DISGRUNTLED ALLIES stood united and asked the incumbent UPA 2 to resign that they could try their EXPERT HANDS @ controlling the spiralling oil prices, rising dollar, Greek crisis, American recession, Angela Merkel, the looming financial melt down world over, rising nepotism, rising authoritarianism, rising temperatures, rising global warming etc!

Those who were SENSIBLE among the common men dashed to the petrol bunks near by to save 7.5 rupee per litre before the crucial midnight (Which pales to the second spot in importance only to the midnight long years back - the midnight which separated the 14th & 15th of August 1947!) after which the prices of petrol would be steeply hiked! All the petrol bunks in the country got jammed in no time as the Hayabusas, Hondas, Suzukies, Jaguars, Audis, Aston Martins, Fords, Hummers, Lamborghinis, Benzes etc of the common men dashed forward with all their horse power might that they could save a PRECIOUS & FALLEN INDIAN RUPEE OR TWO, before the most second important mid night of modern Indian history become history! These common men cared THAT MUCH for the Fallen Indian Rupee (FIR!) that they could not bear the truth that the MIGHTY & SOLID CURRENCY had fallen against the silly dollar that they could not prevent themselves from going all out to save a couple of Dear Fallen Currency - these ‘poor’ common people!

The 3, 4, 5, 6 kilometres their poor man's vehicles grudgingly delivered per litre was very painful to these common men & ‘The Rise Of 7.5 Fallen Rupee’ per litre unbearable! The politicians & the others who were NATURALLY CONCERNED with the problems of the common men, who owned a number of Poor Common Man’s Vehicles, jumped into the boxing ring & started to hurl the hardest to digest words against all those who were the basic cause of ‘the price rise of these gigantic proportions’ (Read 7.5 rupees!) which created unbearable problems for the common men of India! They cried aloud that if they were not there who ELSE would raise voices for these poor commoners of India?! They produced attested (By the who is who of the country!) certificates to prove that these are the common people of India and those around & above 40 % of the Indian population, who (Supposedly!) even don’t have 33 rupees per day to live on, UNCOMMON MEN OF INDIA!

The Hartal’s/Bandh’s Own Country (Writer’s Note: I learned it is Kerala from Wikipedia & Encyclopaedia Indianica!) which ‘always voiced its unusual concerns’ against all the things against the common man with Hartals & Bandhs raised its voice again against this gross injustice with another Grand Harthal/Bandh the very same day the price hike was implemented, saving millions of Fallen Rupees in the form of fuel costs! The Extremely Morally Conscious People of The Hartal’s/Bandh’s Own Country even made it clear beyond any doubt that IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE RICH UNCOMMON MAN TO MAKE SURE THAT THE POOR COMMON MEN OF INDIA ROAM, ALL OVER INDIA, ENJOYING THE FREEDOM GUARANTEED IN OUR CONSTITUTION, IN THEIR POOR MAN VEHICLES, AT THE THEIR EXPENCE!

Declarations made by the great ‘pro poor’ political leaders of India, cutting across party lines, on the serial suicides by the debt ridden farmers in Vidharbha, Marthvada regions suggested it was not in the least connected with the common man; the so called Self Styled 40 & Above % Of Poor In The Country too is not worth listening & mentioning anywhere worth while, as they are supposed to be ‘FAKING THEIR POVERTY’, 100 PER CENT! We should HANDLE these THUGS of public money & cancel their (Bogus) ration cards [As has been done in Karnataka, where The Ultimate Catcher Of These ‘Pretending’ Poor Thugs Cancelled 32 Lakh BPL (Not To Be Confused With A Consumer Electronics Major!) Ration Cards to Shatter the ‘Fake’ Network Of The Poor In The Areas Coming Under Her Pro Poor Control, who. she was dead sure, were ‘PRETENDING POVERTY’!], (Bogus) LPG connections, (Bogus) kerosene permits, (Bogus) electricity supply, (Bogus) underwear subsidy, (Bogus) overwear discount, (Bogus) water connection, (Bogus) air connection, (Bogus) Monsoon rain facility,  (Bogus) living facility etc, in millions, that THESE CHEATERS CUM PRETENDERS LEARN SOME LESSONS IN LIVING IN EXTREMELY PRO POOR INDIA!

SOMEONE (THAT SOMEONE SHOULD BE A ‘FAKE POOR’ THUG, THE INFORMED HAS CLAIMED!) ASKED HOW ALL THESE THINGS ONCE PROVIDED BY THE RESPECTIVE PRO POOR GOVERNMENTS, OVER ALL THESE LONG  YEARS, THAT TOO AFTER THE TOUGHEST POSSIBLE VERIFICATION PROCESSES WHERE THE PRO POOR GOVERNMENTS SPENT MILLIONS OF FALLEN INDIAN RUPEE & EONS OF TIME TO VERIFY THE THINGS TO BE VERIFIED, BECOME BOGUS, OVERNIGHT?! It is interesting to know that no answer was ever given to this question & the powers that be think it is a simple & stupid question which never qualifies for any sort of a response from the pro poor politicians & the pro poor governments they form continuously from the most famous midnight of modern Indian history! And, some others (Ofcourse, It Should Be ‘The Fake & Pretending Poor’!) ask the extremely inconsequential question whether the Indian Rupee has the Falling Sickness which the Mighty Caesar had –Which Should Make It As Mighty As Caesar & Dead At The Same Time!?!

Crying heart broken tears over the FATE of the poor men who owned Audis, Hayabusas etc, all because of the Himalayan Price Hike Imposed On These Poor Common Guys & Gals, the pro poor politicians all over the pro poor India demanded a complete roll back of the cruel & evil hike as they could not even imagine the hardships this unjust & cruel price hike will bring in the lives of these poor common people! They were of the exemplary & extremely intelligent opinion that the subsidies worth tens of thousands of crores of rupees every year, which have been in the vogue since many years, should be continued unabated, at the expense of the tax payers’ money that these poor common people won’t suffer ever & somehow continue living on, happily driving their poor men’s vehicles all over the country, thanks to the pro poor policies of the pro poor & kind hearted politicians of pro poor Mother India!

These REAL sympathisers of poor people or common men of India have also planned to have a Bharath Bandh which will make this problem come into the lime light that it gets solved in no time that these poor common guys & gals with Audis, Hondas, Hummers etc can have a somewhat better lives, with a 7.5 fallen rupee less for a litre of petrol at the expense of the millions of non complaining tax payers! These Pro Poor / Commoner People say that the subsidies have been here since time immemorial & it is as old as the Himalayas; hence, no change is required in the matter of continuing HUGE subsidies, at the expense of the non complaining clusters of tax paying people of India! In these pro poor people’s opinion let the common men of India run their Audis, Hondas, Aston Martins etc where ever they like using the money in the government coffers, which is filled with the tax payers’ money & let the pro poor politicians lessen the burden of all the poor people of India who own a vehicle, at the least, in these tougher days of petrol price hikes, as they are the REAL POOR OF INDIA & ALL THE OTHER CLAIMANTS TO THE STATUS OF POORDOM ARE 100 % FAKES!

The Latest From The Pro Poor Political Circles: The Political Bigwigs & The 'Who Is Who' of Indian Politics Are In A Very Serious Closed Door Discussion In Which ‘It Will Be Ultimately Decided’ (According To The Leaked Information From The Insiders!) That In Order To Qualify As 'POOR' (Who Is Called ‘Common Man’ etc In India!) In India, One Should, At The Least, 'OWN' A Petrol Vehicle!

 And, The Ownership Of Two Or More Petrol Vehicles (If They Are Vehicles Which Give Less Than 10 Kilometre Per Litre That Will Be Considered ‘Enough Proof’ That No Further Verification Is Needed For One’s Poor Existence!) Will Be Considered An Added Advantage In The Process Where It Is/Will Be Finally Decided Whether One Is Poor Or Not!

‘Thank You’ 4 Cheating, Non Performing, Killing etc!

I am used to say 'Thank You!" & almost all are! We are taught that it is polite & standard to say "Thank You!" in almost every situation! We & the generations coming up have been taught from the pre school days to 'SAY THANK YOU', almost every moment of one's life and that’s what we all have been doing all theses years & decades! Time stops for no one & this practice goes on non stop.....!

Sometimes I wonder whether I am Buddha, Jesus Christ or Gandhi as I 'SAY THANK YOU' in almost every moment of my life, as I suppose my self elevated to these great men's platform, some how! Its almost like a machine I 'SAY THANK YOU' & move on with the next thing at hand and in most of the cases I 'SAY THANK YOU', the people who got it from me never EARNED THE ‘THANK YOU’ I gave them, as they must have done ABSOLUTE NOTHING to me in the matter of quality, quantity or any other thing of existence; still I keep saying 'THANK YOU'! And, if I, out of some extreme reason, forgot to say 'THANK YOU', I feel like I DID something wrong & 'SAY THANK YOU' the very next moment and feel relieved!

HENCE, NOW I KEEP THANKING the reservation clerk at the railway station, who deals with every one rudely because 'HIS MASTER WIFE' treats him ill every day, for doing his duty of reserving a ticket, in the most awkward & rudest of the ways possible, the bus conductor who seldom gives back the change in one pretext or the other, the various service providers mushrooming all over the country who never know what service is, the teacher who never teaches my children anything as she never ever got a proper education or will have ever, the bank employees who make the easiest possible money transaction the most difficult in the world, all those wonderful people – including the very efficient & public oriented public servants, government people, pick pockets, various categories of tax men (Always worse than the cavemen!), various departments of service in private & public sector etc - who take money from my pocket without me ever knowing, the education minister who did all the sort of ruining of the entire education system, the shopkeepers who always give much less than what is paid for without me knowing ever, the postmen, who in the last 7 years, delivered letters to our address ONLY when they felt it like delivering – Which happened only a couple of times, in this short span of 7 years!-, the civil supplies minister who illegally & arbitrarily disconnected our gas connection which we have been using for the last 8 years, the men at the petrol bunks who always waste a large number of drops of the precious oil outside the petrol tank while lifting the petrol pump hurriedly from the petrol tank of the vehicle just before the completion of the flow for which one pays without fail, the hotelier who makes idlies, dosas etc that small (Ofcourse for a fortune!) that even the mighty Lilliputians marvel about their tiny sizes, the Director General cum CEO cum CFO cum Dean cum the Vice Chancellor of the gas agency which put our gas documents into the waste bin & looked in the other direction, the magnanimous service provider who frequently puts caller tunes into our mobiles & fleece us without ever asking us, the grocery shop man who always charges one or two rupee extra on the 'Indian Government Approved MRP' (Is MRP Malpractice in Retail Pricing??!), the milk man who adulterates milk with whatever comes handy, the VIP Dignitaries who always arrive, at the least, a couple of hours late, the traffic & other POLICE MEN WHO STEAL MONEY FROM ONE'S POCKETS IN THE NAME OF LAW, the repair man who repaired the undamaged part of my lap top, the hotelier who always serves the worst, sub standard & unhygienic, the government employee (who survives as a leach or a parasite on the money common man like me/you pay/s all one's life!) who ASKES FOR 'SOMETHING' TO GREASE HIS HANDS TO DO THE DUTY HE/SHE IS 'COMMONMANLY' PAID FOR, the industries which drastically pollute our living environment, the neighbour who tramples –‘Deliberately Unknowingly’!- on the plants & saplings I plant in my place & pour hot water on them that they may never grow up against HER MIGHTY WILL, the PWD department & other people friendly departments concerned which lay such beautiful roads that my vehicle (And, all other people’s vehicles, as well!) always get damaged that I get fleeced by the Greedy Repairers of the Well Registered & Well Certified  Workshops, the RTOs who, as GOD, declare “Let There Be Driving Licences 'To Kill' In Every Body's Pocket”, the doctor who ALWAYS FINDS OUT SOMETHING WHICH SHOULD BE 'THOROUGHLY' DIAGNOSED WITH ALL THE EQUIPMENTS AWAILABLE IN THE HOSPITAL HE WORKS IN OR THE CLINIC HE RUNS, the local rowdies who in the light & softened phrase of  'Eve Teasers' do whatever they wish to do, ‘the Friendly Neighbourhood Waste Dumper’ (Ofcourse and always into your piece of land & home!), the so called AC theatres, buses, trains etc where the ACs are seldom switched on, in the name of consumer/customer/commuter convenience, the Known & Unknown Great Personalities who poisonously adulterate all the food items I/we eat and all the other great men who are there in the world!

My son asked me whether ‘THANK YOU’ is something that should be given to those who have done nothing or who do things as their duty taking money out of one’s pocket?! He also suggested that if he has to say ‘THANK YOU’ to his teacher after the class the teacher should also say ‘THANK YOU’ to him that there exist some parity, as, according to his great wisdom, the teacher is teaching him taking money out of his pocket, that is his father’s pocket, which should be RIGHTLY THANKED every time he thanked the teacher! I liked his logic! Though I say ‘THANK YOU’ day in & day out, I am still unsure if this is not an extremely foolish thing that we do quite often, aping the West blindly in our culture & environment, which is a whole world different from that of the West?! Still, I know it is the ONLY WAY by which I can get myself into the league of a Buddha or Gandhi; hence, I continue saying ‘THANK YOU’!

 I came to know from very trustable sources that there are even great ‘THANK YOU’ COURSES (Most of them heavily subsidised by the various state & central governments, which always think pro poor!) where one learns to say ‘THANK YOU’ ceremoniously, in multiple styles & with great sound modulation & enthusiasm etc, in all the situations where there is NO NEED TO SAY ‘THANK YOU’ AT ALL & THAT TOO TO THE THANKLESS & SENSELESS PEOPLE FROM VARIOUS WALKS OF LIFE! In these courses they also make one master the art of saying ‘THANK YOU’ even when one is killed or murdered! Hence, we have lakhs & lakhs of great people among us who have completed these government sponsored & heavily subsidised ‘THANK YOU’ COURSES successfully, who (can) say ‘THANK YOU’ SUCCESSFULLY WITH GREAT SOUND MODULATION & DEPTH TO ‘THE DOCTORS WHO HAVE THE LICENCE TO KILL AND USE IT EFFICIENTLY’!

THESE MILLIONS OF GREAT MEN SAY ‘THANK YOU DOCTOR’ SUCCESSFULLY WITH GREATLY TRAINED STYLE & GRANDEUR - WHO MORE OFTEN THAN NOT ARE ABLE TO WAVE A LIFE OFF THE EARTH BY JUST ANOTHER FAULTY DIAGNOSIS & THE TRAINED COSTLY & AT THE SAME TIME TOTALLY INEFFECIENT REMEDIAL MEASURES AT THEIR DISPOSAL! - JUST BEFORE THEY CLOSE THEIR EYES FOR THE LAST TIME, THANKS TO THE GREAT, EXPENSIVE & AT THE SAME TIME GROSSILY ERRONEOUS & INEFFICIENT TREATMENT THEY ARE GIVEN BY THESE ‘LICENCED TO KILL’ DOCS! Ofcourse, they are no less people than the all time greats such as Buddha, Christ, Gandhi  and others & a humble me too try my level best by saying ‘THANK YOU’, right & left, night & day to get in & remain in their GREAT CIRCLE OF IMMORTALS!