Finding One’s Long Lost Ambani Brother!

It’s always amazing & dreamlike to find out ‘one fine morning’ that one of the BIGGEST business magnates in the country is your Loooooong Lost (‘How Long?’ that I don’t know, for sure!) Brother! And, when you find that out, by sheer chance -AS IT HAPPENED TO ME!- the other one too becomes your brother -Here, Mukesh Ambani!- & you AUTOMATICALLY qualifies for the immense wealth these brothers amassed, ‘as a brother’!

All those things of yester year cinema – like finding one’s long lost brother with the sighting of a black mole/mark under his buttocks when the long lost brothers fight & ‘ACCIDENTLY’ tear the trousers just EXACTLY above the much hidden mole/mark or remembering the 10 line song/lullaby which the mother sang when the brothers were @ the incredibly ‘comprehending age’ of ‘BARELY’1 & 2 years are pass & it’s the era of new generation movies where the long lost ones find each other using SMS contests, ‘FREE’ talk time offers etc!

That’s what I found out one fine morning, 19-04-14 to be exact! And, who can fathom the great joy of a brother (Me!) finding out a long lost brother & getting another long lost brother FOR FREE! It also dawned on me that the ‘FREE’ offers we, the poor brother Indians, have been bombarded with, all across the width & breadth of the country, is nothing but ‘the Great Helping Hand Technique’ offered by our dear long lost ‘BIG’ brothers to find our long lost ‘BIG’ brothers!

When I landed ‘back’ in Bangalore on 19-04-14 & when I switched my mobile back to life I got a message from my service provider! I give it here EXACTLY as I got it!

[Message]

Hi, I had tried

calling you at 12.42

pm 18 APR

:: Reliance

[ Sender ]

01401359128

[ Time ]

19.04.14 08:52am

For a moment my heart was leaping with joy & soft emotions thinking about my VERY CARING service provider or rather SHOULD I call him My Service Brother who, the very moment I came back, INFORMED me about the CARE He has for me with the above given message!

As I remembered Buddha & his teachings, I reduced my emotions & started to think about the ‘Brotherly Message’! Then, when I searched further in my message box, to my surprise, I found another message in my mobile phone which shattered My Concept Of Brotherly Love; I give that heart shattering message ‘too’ here, with a BrOkeN hEaRt: 

[Message]

You have been

successfully

subscribed to Missed

Call Alert service for

Rs.30.00 for 30

days .To

Unsubscribe, SMS

to

51234.Reliance.

[ Sender ]

51234

[ Time ]

15.04.14 12:13pm

I realized, I ‘NEVER’ sent a subscription message or asked to activate this ‘GREAT & WONDERFUL’ service! And, I also remembered I had fought against this sort of ‘CHEATING’ earlier, as well, and posted some of them in ‘Complaint Box India’ (Group - Orkut) & ‘Indian Complaint Box’ (www.indiancomplaint box.blogspot.com), a couple of years back! I painfully understood that These ‘TRICKSTER BROTHERS’ Have Been Continuing With Their Large Number Of ‘CHEATING TRICKS’, all these years, ‘unabated’!

And, I remembered it is the same brother who ‘monthly’ sends me ‘WARNING’ MESSAGES, without fail; I provide here one of the ‘THREATNING’ MESSAGES I get every month from My Ambani Brother:

[Message]

Dear Customer

please pay your

Netconnect Bill due

of Rs.......  today

to avoid late

payment of Rs100

or 2.5%

charges.Kindly

ignore if paid.RCOM

[ Sender ]

RM-Reliance

[ Time ]

27.03.14 09:12am

Here, the BIG Brother ‘THREATENS’ to collect Rs 100 or 2.5% (Whichever is HIGHER!!) ‘if’ I fail to pay by the pay by date! Is TRAI Mama aware of this ‘30% penalty’ (Or ‘SHOULD’ we call it ‘LOOT’?!) imposed on the small & smaller brothers when billions worth assets of Indians and small &smaller Indian brothers are compromised (Read LOOTED!) for the sake of BIGGER BROTHERS, all across India, all these decades of FREEDOM?!

And, it is interesting to know that for the last 6 years or so I have been paying WHATEVER my dear Ambani Brother has been asking DESPITE I GETTING 00.001kpbs more often than NOT for a connection I took, FOOLED BY the offer & marketing (Read ‘CHEATING’!) technique which trumpeted UPTO 114kpbs!!! One SHOULD try to understand the patience levels I have @ present due to the AMBANI ‘UPTO’ PATIENCE TRAINING METHOD (AUPTM!) which got introduced into my life by this 00.001kpbs Wonderful Device (Data Card!), though I regularly, NON STOP, call My Ambani Brother Names!!

By collecting rupees 10s, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 100s etc, ‘slyly’ ,these BIG Brothers, all over India, all over these decades of Mobile Revolution, under the All Seeing ‘Sleeping’ Eyes of TRAI Mama, SHOULD HAVE AMASSED A GREAT FORTUNE, without anybody other than TRAI Mama noticing! (Millions SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOOTED in this way, ‘MONTHLY’, i.e. ‘Rs 30 or 50 or 100 or 200 x millions of customers’, in the names of ‘UNSUBSCRIBED’ Caller Tune Installation, Missed Call Alert, Miscalculation, Plan Modification, Simply Charging For Nothing or Simple Adding & millions of other Innovative Cheating Methods or ICMs – WE SHOULD CALL IT THE ‘GREAT INDIAN MOBILE ROBBERY’!) Definitely, the ‘Who Is Who’ of the TRAI Mama Circle (TRAI-MC!) SHOULD HAVE GOT THEIR POUND OF ‘FIP Flesh’ that they keep their eternal quietness intact! After all, it’s Independent India where the ‘Special Every One’ has the Constitutional Right to be eternally silent though they are paid  (We, the ignorant common people, call it ‘Government Salaries’!) by the taxes paid by the FIP (Free & Independent People – Since 1947, August 15!) of India to Raise Their Voice against injustice happening in their fields of action!  

Another piece of great & wonderful piece of information that emerged out of all these ‘Long Lost Brother Finding Programs’ is that ‘Looting Is NOT Looting When A Brother Loots Another’, after all we, all Indians, are brothers! It’s all about one brother looting the other….And, of course, the BIGGER ones can loot the smaller ones, as are the rules in the Family Book Of Looting The Brothers! It is clearly stated in the Statutory Rule Book Of Brother Looting –which is always with the ‘Always Sleeping’ TRAI Mama- that the Powerful brothers can SHAMELESSLY LOOT the less powerful ones as ‘it’s ONLY the Fittest Looter (Brother) survives!’

And, TRAI Mama is always JUST! Though HE sleeps all the time IN FAVOUR OF THE BIG BROTHERS’ LOOTING, He is as JUST as the God Yamadharma!  After all He sleeps according to the Rule Book of Brother Looting where it’s been clearly writen in ‘undecipherable’ words that Big Brother has the right to loot the small or smaller brothers 24/7, and, that’s ‘a’ truth, which is self evident in FIP’s India!

When we see all these LOOT happening, in front of the ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Our Dear ‘TRAI’ Uncle (Or We, Indians, call Mamasree!), who is ‘supposed to control’ all these ‘Brotherly Looting’, I think, it is NOT stupid to assume that the ‘Sleeping Beauty TRAI Mama’ is the reincarnation of ‘Sakuni Mama’ of Mahabharat fame or He is the Modern Day ‘Sakuni Mama’, favoring the Kaurav Brothers, ALWAYS! Who doesn’t know that the Sleeping Mamas ALWAYS favoured the Kaurav Brothers?!

BUT, it is a great thought that day in & day out the 1 billion+ great people of India, in their thousands, would be finding out Their Long Lost Ambani Brothers, non stop! And, it’s another wonderful thought that some of them would ‘EVEN’ be finding out their ‘Own’ Long Lost Mittal (Of Airtel Bharati!) Brothers, Birla Brothers & Other Brothers, as well! What IS the difference but in the names, as all Indians, at the least, by now, must have come to know that all Indians are BROTHERS (& NOT Bothers!)  & clearly understood what they had learned in their ‘ill furnished class rooms’ from their ‘well qualified ignorant teachers’ that “All Indians Are My Sisters & Brothers” IS true! But, one can’t be that sure if there, in the 1+ billion brothers available for an average Indian, some are ‘MORE’ BROTHER THAN THE OTHER or NOT?!

Anyway, it’s a SOOTHING & WONDERFUL THOUGHT that , in this country of a billion FIP –where more than 30% the So Called ‘Free & Independent’ People (That would be between 30 & 40 crores of ‘Free & Independent’ People or FIP!) are BELOW THE POVERTY LINE –Despite adding Ocean Full of water to the Real Poverty Line Reports/Records (RPLRs!)!- thousands of people ‘WAKE UP EVERY DAY’ to find out a LONG LOST Ambani or Mittal or Ruia or Birla Big Brother (‘Bhaiyya’-we, FIP, call in Our Rashtra Bhasha Hindi!), under the ‘EVER SLEEPING’ Watchful Eyes of TRAI Mama &TRAI-MC! O What An Idea, Ambaniji……Mittalji….Birlaji….Our (FIP’s!) ‘Other’ Big Brotherjis….TRAI Mamaji…. TRAI Mama Circleji…..OF LOOTING ji?!