Thug Banks - TB – In India!

Almost a year back, when one of our friends went to the Bank Of India branch in Hanumanthnagar, Bangalore, to get a new Debit card in the place of an expired one, she was told by an arrogant bank Lootaccomplice (A person who is a partner or helper in the process of LOOTING, HELPING the bank to ‘TRICK’ the customers, efficiently!) to bring her PAN card, which she NEVER HAD, to have a new one! The FACT that she had been using the account for 11 or so years was ‘NOT’ enough for the Lootaccomplice, who was DEAD BENT on making her apply for a ‘PAN CARD’, one of the million identity cards an ordinary Indian IS ‘FORCED’ to carry, making one remember the ‘CARD CARRYING SYSTEM’ for the ‘BLACKS & BROWNS’ in the Imperial South Africa, wherefrom ‘one’ MK Gandhi arrived in India, more than a century before, in 1915!

A couple of years ago, I learned that I could ‘REVIVE’ (Under various revival schemes –Schemes ‘schemed’ by the ‘scheming’ schemers of Thug Bank Industry (TBI!)!- initiated by the ‘NEW’ government policies of ‘THAT’ time!) my expired or out of service account in Canara Bank, which I started 20-25 years ago, by ‘GIVING’ the THUG BANK (TB as in TB the disease which wasted one’s Life, slowly!) 1500 or more Indian rupees, as my account ‘STOPPED” functioning due to the continuous decrease of  money in my account DUE to the non minimum balance theory (NMBT!) the TB practiced (Which means ONCE the TB stipulated minimum balance in my account dipped a rupee or so below the TB ‘stipulated’ 1000/- , which was ‘NOT’ the case when I opened the account decades back, and, TBs can ‘STIPULATE’ & ‘RESTIPULATE’ any time they wish !) they ‘KEPT’ reducing ‘PENALTIES’ from my account ‘REGULARLY’ for a certain number of months, making the account (And, ofcourse me, the TB Account Holder –TBAH!) INDEBTED to the TB for MORE than 1500 Highly Devalued Indian Currency (HDIC!)! The very moment I heard this, I DISAPPERED from the TB Canara Bank premises!

Now a days, I NEVER EVER dare to go even a couple of kilometers near the TB Canara Bank, where I had my decades old TB Account AS I seriously suspect that they WILL SIEZE me & auction me in the ‘OPEN’ commodity market to SQUEEZ the more than 1500 HDIC & it’s interest out of me! When I read various ‘MANIPULATED’ financial news articles (MFNA!) on the various TBs of India, I ALWAYS scan for my own photo being printed there ‘DECLARING’ me an absconding Harshad Mehta or Liem Nielson who made the TB ‘tank’ under the weight of the HUGE debt (Of 1500 or so HDIC & it’s FAST growing interest!) or in the words of the ‘current’ trend –Non Performing Asset, NPA - I owe it!

When I gave a cheque to one of my friends on 12/02/16, Friday, LITTLE did I know that another one of the TBs, in the name of Catholic Syrian Bank (CSB!), where I have an account for almost 2 decades, will ‘BOUNCE’ my cheque stating that my account had been ‘FROZEN’, charging him 250/- in the process! Hearing this over the phone I FROZE myself! I could ‘NOT’ help thinking about my STATURE in the Republic of India! From my school days, I have a notion that ‘ONLY’ Important or Notorious persons got their account ‘FROZEN’ and it can be considered as a sign of the person, whose account has been ‘FROZEN’, as someone ‘NOT’ ordinary and, ofcourse, EXTRAORDINARY!

It took a couple of LOOOOOONG minutes for me to come out of this DEEP FROZEN state! I wondered whether I have enlisted myself in ISI or IS or Now Extinct ULFA or Al Qaeda, ‘in my dreams’ OR I have been ‘seriously’ suspected of HIDING a couple of Multiple Independently Targeted Reentry Vehicles (MIRVs!) & nuclear submarines ‘under’ my pillow to wage war against the nation THAT the so called AUTHORITIES, who ‘ONLY’ has, in India, the ‘Right To Freeze’ (RTF!), froze my assets!  

Frozen, though NOT deep frozen, I called the TB Catholic Syrian Bank & the woman on the other end started ‘LECTURING’ about my ‘FAILURE’ to give THE CSB THUGS the so called ‘KYC’ doc duly filled, ‘despite’ them sending me 3-4 letters, in my address, in this regard, in the last 12 or so months, ‘WHICH’, to my great surprise, I ‘NEVER’ GOT (“Should I ‘SUE’ the postal department for SWALLOWING UP all the 3-4 letters TB CSB ‘INVISIBLY’ sent me, spending a couple of decades in the Eternal Indian Courts (EICs!), spending whatever I earn?”, was the question, I knew, that ‘SHE’ wanted ‘to’ GROW, in my ‘FROZEN’ mind!)! She also ‘ARROGANTLY KINDLY’ informed me that they would ‘NEVER’ refund anything of the 250/- lost to my friend ‘solely’ due to THEIR ‘UNILATERAL’ FREEZING OF MY ACCOUNT, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, meaning I SHOULD shell out 250/- from ‘my pocket’ to give back the money my friend lost DUE TO TB Catholic Syrian Bank’s arrogant, stupid & uncalled for ‘dastardly’ act!

It was interesting to know that ‘THEY’ accepted the money deposited in the ‘FROZEN’ account on 5^th of this month (February, 2016!), ‘WITHOUT’ ME SUBMITTING THE SO CALLED ALL IMPORTANT ‘KYC’ doc, about which they ‘PRETEND’ they sent me 3-4 letters in the last 12 months or so, in which I am asked to ‘CERTIFY’ that I am ‘NOT’ a member of ISIS, ISI of Pakistan, Al Qaeda etc and I am ‘not’ working for the Chinese or the SS or Dawood for my living and all the money I deposit in the Thug Bank (TB!) is ‘not’ coming from the ‘Hawala Deal’, ‘Fake’ Currency Business, ‘Illicit’ Liquor Business, Indian Adulteration ‘Industry’ (IAI – The latest ‘declared’ industry UNDER Make In India programme!), Narcotics Smuggling & Sale (NSS!), International Arms Deals, Large scale human trafficking, flesh trade in Las Vegas & Grand road, Mumbai etc & I will ‘NEVER’ submit ‘FAKE’ HDIC, ‘printed’ in ‘my’ Counterfeit Currency Press (CCP!), underground, in the Hawaii Islands & Mariana Trench Area, failing which I would be ‘FROZEN’, again!

As the FIRST STEP to prevent the ‘LOSSES’, regularly occurring to the ‘HAPLESS’ TB customers, ‘Each’ of the employees of the TB ‘SHOULD’ give self attested declarations (Know Your TB Lootaccomplice – KYTBL!) , ‘INDIVIDUALLY’ & with government approved ID proof (Ha…ha….ha…!) & a couple of photos, to the respective customers of the ‘every’ TB branch STATING THAT (1) he/she has ‘NEVER’ been involved in any financial malpractices, any time in his/her employment period, (2) he/she has ‘NEVER’ defaulted on any loans taken anywhere during his/her life time, (3) he/she has ‘NO’ criminal background, (4) he/she has ‘NEVER’ been booked for any offence under Indian Law, (5) he/she has a ‘GOOD’ school leaving certificate (Indicating his/her personal integrity REQUIRED for  a Lootaccomplice….ha….ha..!!!), (6) he/she has ‘NO’ quarreling/aggressive attitude in his/her character, (7) he/she is a human & humane to all etc THAT every customer can WITHOUT FEAR deposit one’s own HARD earned money in the TB, at the least, @ the time of depositing! 

And, the RIGHT to DEEP FREEZE (RDF!) the employee & the particular TB branch in the Icy caverns of Antarctica will 'solely' rest on the shoulders of the respective TB branch customers if he/she is found to have ‘FALSIFIED’ in the ‘Self Declaration’ he/she has given to the TB customer!

It ‘SHOULD’ be added in ‘BOLD’ letters in the TB branch declaration that IF any money is lost to the customer, in any way –As it happened to me!- or any inconvenience is caused to him or her IT will be COMPENSATED, in no time, TAKING THE COMPENSATION ‘from’ the salary of the employee BECAUSE OF WHOM the loss occurred! (When a bank takes BACK from its own employee the money it lost due to his or her inefficiency or stupidity, the TB customer ‘ALSO’ has the SAME right to RECLAIM his/her losses!)

  

As, I am a person WHO, ‘like’ millions of other ordinary Indian TB customers, deposit MY WHITE MONEY in the TBs & its ‘NOT’ the TBs depositing their money in My Account, I, and, all other millions of TB customers (Or shall they be called ‘TB Patients’?!), all across India, have a right TO DEMAND the Know Your Bank (KYB!) doc , presented to EVERYONE that I & the other millions of THE CHEATED by the TBs come to KNOW what happens in the so called TB Industry (TBI!)!

As, We, The Indian Customers, ‘SHOULD’ Know Their ‘LOOTING’ Banks or Bank Lootere, the Looting Banks or Bank Lootere SHOULD give each of their customers a ‘declaration’ with the attested copies of ‘relevant’ (Ha….ha…ha…!) documents, attested copies of the photos of those Bank Thugs (BT!) who ‘HEAD’ the Common Customer Looting Programme (CCLP!) etc that we, the common TB customers, at the least, come to know the Treacherous ‘ETHICAL’ Business Practices (TEBP!) ‘HONESTLY’ followed in the TB Industry!

The declaration, We, the common TB customers, DEMAND & ‘ought to’ get ‘SHOULD’ also provide the ANSWERS for the following questions:

1)    ‘How’ the banks cheat their customers?

2)    How much they ‘make’ every financial year, CHEATING their customers?

3)    By ‘HIDDEN’ charges & all (Nothing but ‘CERTIFIED’ LOOTING Techniques - CLT!) ‘like’ withdrawal charges, ATM charges, cheque book charges, opening charges, closing charges, maintenance charges, minimum account NON maintenance charges, Bank Luteere charges, SB charges, Bank Luteere Union Charges (BLUC!), Sunday Charges, Monday Charges, Evening Charges & Morning Charges, Exceeding charges, Non exceeding charges, Active account charges, Inactive account charges etc HOW MUCH money they make, branchwise?

4)    What all methods they use to CHEAT their customers & the percentage wise statistics of ‘every’ method adopted?

5)    Where does the customers’ deposited money end up & @ what rate of interest?

6)    Why ‘SHOULD’ all the bank officials behave AS they are the Slave Bosses of India (‘SBI’……OMG!!!?) of the slave customers (SC!) WHEN, in Reality, the money is the common man customers’ (CMC!) & they are ‘ONLY’ the low grade accomplices of the Thug Tycoons of the so called banking industry?

7)    How the government of India & other Regulatory mechanisms ‘HELP’ banks ‘CHEAT’ their customers?

8)    When the inefficiency of the banking staff & the banks themselves make CRORES OF INDIANS’ MONEY go waste WHO THE BANKING ‘BASTARD’ IS HELD RESPONSIBLE?

9)    What happens to the HUGE amounts of money stored in these Thug Banks (TB!) without claims or, in reality, ‘FALSELY’ DECLARED as UNCLAIMED by the CHEAT BANKS?

10)                       Why they are NOT handing over the percentage decrease in the interest rates to the customers?

11)                       Why they ALWAYS HIKE interests UNPROPORTIONATELY when the RBI hikes interest rates?

12)                       Why the Bank Regulator Mechanisms ALWAYS ‘REGULATE’ the ordinary customers & NEVER the Thug Banks (TBs!)?

13)                       Why decades’ old ‘VERIFIED’ accounts ‘require’ reverification after reverification according to the ‘WHIMS & FANCIES’ of the STUPIDS in the banking Industry?

14)                       Is the Banking Industry all about ‘LOOTING’ the common customers & supplying the BOOTY to the Highwaymen Of Repute (HoR –‘Sounds’ familiar?!) SO THAT common man’s money can be ‘WRITTEN OFF’ as NPA (Non Performing Assets) etc?

15)                       Who ‘ALL’ help these shameless ‘TBs’ loot ordinary customers?

(There is a welcome suggestion, signed by millions of ‘NON ENTITY & NON EXISTENT’ netizens, doing the rounds, which is under ‘serious scrutiny’ of various financial departments & ministries to FIX ‘TB’ in front of all the banks in India as Mr, Mrs, Miss, Senorita, Messers etc are fixed in certain places, ALWAYS!)

An Interesting ‘RELATED’ Article From This Same Blog, Posted On 19^th, February, 2009 Can Be Read ‘HERE’!  

Nuclear Material, Indian Currency & The Fear Factor!

Whenever I get a 100, 500 or 1000 rupee note, I run to the near by CBI office & consult an expert in the currency department & force an assertion that it is not a counterfeit note! Or else, I even fear to breathe in & out and take my cup of pesticide-filled tea! And, of late, I start to tremble whenever I get or handle a note which’s denomination is 100 or more! Nothing in life I fear more than handling these notes, now a days!

I often have nightmares in which I find myself standing on a tower trying to prove that the notes I gave were not fake ones & if they were, they were not printed on the note-printing machine, which is quite common a commodity traded openly in the market & even on the footpath! But, luckily, I manage to wake up when the situation goes out of my control, when I fail to prove to those all around me in the dream that I am not a note printing machine! In the dream, the blind man always tells me that the onus is on me to prove that I am not the person who printed the note, I am not the man who bought the strictly & confidentially traded paper on which the note is printed, I am not the person who designed the so-complicated note, I am not the person who ever had an idea to print a fake note myself, I am not the man who ever wished to cheat people and one's country & ‘another hundreds of I am not the persons’! I tremble non-stop when I think of the condition in which I might fail to wake up from the nightmare!

I have heard about the persons, who all their lives fruitlessly tried to prove their innocence, behind the bars of interrogation cells! Of course, most of them didn’t have the machinery to prove they didn’t do the printing & publishing of the great art work they are supposedly have done - the Indian rupee! In life, they must have learned real time that proving a wrong assumption wrong is more difficult than proving the Mount Everest the highest point on earth, in Indian Quality Conditions!

We have to understand that it is so simple to make & distribute fake Indian currency as the trusted banking system (but it is a FACT that they never asked anyone to trust them!) too is an integral part of it, as has been proven by the seizure of crores of rupee worth fake Indian currency from a branch of a well reputed bank in north India just a year ago! And, we as Indians should be happy to know that this well reputed bank have hundreds of branches all over India that we all can have our share of fake Indian currency, as nobody in India should complain against segregation in the matter of Counterfeit Currency Handling & Circulation!

We have been told by our own governments, all these years that they have been trying hard to counter billions of dollars worth Black/Parallel Economy in India which is a creation of Our Good Old Neighbor Pakistan & Our Good Old Neighbor Prints Billions Of Indian Rupee Worth Indian Fake Currency and Distribute through their well established Indian lanes & by lanes! We, as Indians, trust our government! Our sensible government also canceled an order they had given to a western company when it came it to be known that this company was selling the machines, on which we printed our trusted currency, to our dear & trusted neighbor as well! Despite all this when a person ever gives ‘An Unknowing Fake Note' to some Mind Reader who can read the notes as well, that ‘Single Note Owner's life’ goes for a toss! From then on, for him, the Sun rises in the west & life is far miserable compared to hell! It’s interesting to note that in all these years thousands have lost their hard earned money when the Same Morally Integral Banks Tore Away or Put In The Incinerator the Fake Notes which they identified with their Sharply -Trained Eagle-Eyes! No one is given equal amount of money in return, ever, as it has been 'Considered By The Authorities Concerned' that ALL THE EVIL NOTES SHOULD BE DESTROYED MERCILESSLY & THE PERSON WHO SUBMITTED THEM SHOULD SUFFER INSUFFERABLY!

Just to get kicks out of it, THE EAGLE-EYED BANKS HAVE ALSO INSTALLED FAKE-CURRENCY-PROVIDING ATMs that they can effortlessly circulate fake currency to THE NON-EAGLE-EYED COMMONOR and trap him for ever when he submits the same fake notes provided by these sadists somewhere, & crucify him thread-bare! [One can prevent this situation, they say, if 1) one keeps the transaction receipt with oneself, 2) remember the Taxi cab number one travelled in - memories of Ramanujan-Hardy?! - while going to take the single fake hundred rupee note, 3) remember the colour of the underwear the sleeping ATM guard worn which sneaked out of his low-waist pants, 4) remember the number of steps - memories of Sherlock Holems-Dr.Watson?! - in front of the step-less counterfeit currency provider ATM etc!] Of course it is an interesting game where the TV channels too can play their scoops & trivia about the fake note, the fake-note submitter’s love affair, his interests & non-interests, the fake note & its philosophical angle & ‘NEWS-LIKELY PROMOTE THE BRAND OF THE ATM MACHINE’, from where the fake note ‘IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE COME OUT’ & THE BRAND OF THE MACHINE WHICH IDENTIFIED THE SINGLE FAKE NOTE WITH DEXTERITY!

When the Real Culprit Is/Can’t Be Found, It Has Become The Duty Of The Authorities To Nail Someone Who Does Not Have The Means & Strength To Defend himself, and make him sing like a canary! Carrying a revolver, knife, bomb, nuclear material, Indian currency etc & their use falls under the same kind of unpardonable offense, which all will be & have to be dealt with the capital punishment!! Indian currency denominations of more than Rs100, if one is bent on carrying & using them, have to be certified by a gazetted officer not less than in the rank of the governor of a state or the RBI governor! My Papa said in his days it was not dangerous to carry & use Indian currency and in those days while carrying currency they only had to fear the local thieves or the very local pick-pockets! But today a person who carries it should fear all & sundry including the police, CBI, interrogation cells & all the other sort of mechanisms & be prepared to die proving one's innocence, taking hundreds of years, as when there is suspicion in India, it means it is an established fact! And, here in India we have a well established (time-tested!) expert system & machinery which can even prove an Indian monkey is the nearest kin of a polar bear and snakes & donkeys are brothers and sisters, and they arrived from Mars & Venus, respectively!!