Thug Banks - TB – In India!

Almost a year back, when one of our friends went to the Bank Of India branch in Hanumanthnagar, Bangalore, to get a new Debit card in the place of an expired one, she was told by an arrogant bank Lootaccomplice (A person who is a partner or helper in the process of LOOTING, HELPING the bank to ‘TRICK’ the customers, efficiently!) to bring her PAN card, which she NEVER HAD, to have a new one! The FACT that she had been using the account for 11 or so years was ‘NOT’ enough for the Lootaccomplice, who was DEAD BENT on making her apply for a ‘PAN CARD’, one of the million identity cards an ordinary Indian IS ‘FORCED’ to carry, making one remember the ‘CARD CARRYING SYSTEM’ for the ‘BLACKS & BROWNS’ in the Imperial South Africa, wherefrom ‘one’ MK Gandhi arrived in India, more than a century before, in 1915!

A couple of years ago, I learned that I could ‘REVIVE’ (Under various revival schemes –Schemes ‘schemed’ by the ‘scheming’ schemers of Thug Bank Industry (TBI!)!- initiated by the ‘NEW’ government policies of ‘THAT’ time!) my expired or out of service account in Canara Bank, which I started 20-25 years ago, by ‘GIVING’ the THUG BANK (TB as in TB the disease which wasted one’s Life, slowly!) 1500 or more Indian rupees, as my account ‘STOPPED” functioning due to the continuous decrease of  money in my account DUE to the non minimum balance theory (NMBT!) the TB practiced (Which means ONCE the TB stipulated minimum balance in my account dipped a rupee or so below the TB ‘stipulated’ 1000/- , which was ‘NOT’ the case when I opened the account decades back, and, TBs can ‘STIPULATE’ & ‘RESTIPULATE’ any time they wish !) they ‘KEPT’ reducing ‘PENALTIES’ from my account ‘REGULARLY’ for a certain number of months, making the account (And, ofcourse me, the TB Account Holder –TBAH!) INDEBTED to the TB for MORE than 1500 Highly Devalued Indian Currency (HDIC!)! The very moment I heard this, I DISAPPERED from the TB Canara Bank premises!

Now a days, I NEVER EVER dare to go even a couple of kilometers near the TB Canara Bank, where I had my decades old TB Account AS I seriously suspect that they WILL SIEZE me & auction me in the ‘OPEN’ commodity market to SQUEEZ the more than 1500 HDIC & it’s interest out of me! When I read various ‘MANIPULATED’ financial news articles (MFNA!) on the various TBs of India, I ALWAYS scan for my own photo being printed there ‘DECLARING’ me an absconding Harshad Mehta or Liem Nielson who made the TB ‘tank’ under the weight of the HUGE debt (Of 1500 or so HDIC & it’s FAST growing interest!) or in the words of the ‘current’ trend –Non Performing Asset, NPA - I owe it!

When I gave a cheque to one of my friends on 12/02/16, Friday, LITTLE did I know that another one of the TBs, in the name of Catholic Syrian Bank (CSB!), where I have an account for almost 2 decades, will ‘BOUNCE’ my cheque stating that my account had been ‘FROZEN’, charging him 250/- in the process! Hearing this over the phone I FROZE myself! I could ‘NOT’ help thinking about my STATURE in the Republic of India! From my school days, I have a notion that ‘ONLY’ Important or Notorious persons got their account ‘FROZEN’ and it can be considered as a sign of the person, whose account has been ‘FROZEN’, as someone ‘NOT’ ordinary and, ofcourse, EXTRAORDINARY!

It took a couple of LOOOOOONG minutes for me to come out of this DEEP FROZEN state! I wondered whether I have enlisted myself in ISI or IS or Now Extinct ULFA or Al Qaeda, ‘in my dreams’ OR I have been ‘seriously’ suspected of HIDING a couple of Multiple Independently Targeted Reentry Vehicles (MIRVs!) & nuclear submarines ‘under’ my pillow to wage war against the nation THAT the so called AUTHORITIES, who ‘ONLY’ has, in India, the ‘Right To Freeze’ (RTF!), froze my assets!  

Frozen, though NOT deep frozen, I called the TB Catholic Syrian Bank & the woman on the other end started ‘LECTURING’ about my ‘FAILURE’ to give THE CSB THUGS the so called ‘KYC’ doc duly filled, ‘despite’ them sending me 3-4 letters, in my address, in this regard, in the last 12 or so months, ‘WHICH’, to my great surprise, I ‘NEVER’ GOT (“Should I ‘SUE’ the postal department for SWALLOWING UP all the 3-4 letters TB CSB ‘INVISIBLY’ sent me, spending a couple of decades in the Eternal Indian Courts (EICs!), spending whatever I earn?”, was the question, I knew, that ‘SHE’ wanted ‘to’ GROW, in my ‘FROZEN’ mind!)! She also ‘ARROGANTLY KINDLY’ informed me that they would ‘NEVER’ refund anything of the 250/- lost to my friend ‘solely’ due to THEIR ‘UNILATERAL’ FREEZING OF MY ACCOUNT, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, meaning I SHOULD shell out 250/- from ‘my pocket’ to give back the money my friend lost DUE TO TB Catholic Syrian Bank’s arrogant, stupid & uncalled for ‘dastardly’ act!

It was interesting to know that ‘THEY’ accepted the money deposited in the ‘FROZEN’ account on 5^th of this month (February, 2016!), ‘WITHOUT’ ME SUBMITTING THE SO CALLED ALL IMPORTANT ‘KYC’ doc, about which they ‘PRETEND’ they sent me 3-4 letters in the last 12 months or so, in which I am asked to ‘CERTIFY’ that I am ‘NOT’ a member of ISIS, ISI of Pakistan, Al Qaeda etc and I am ‘not’ working for the Chinese or the SS or Dawood for my living and all the money I deposit in the Thug Bank (TB!) is ‘not’ coming from the ‘Hawala Deal’, ‘Fake’ Currency Business, ‘Illicit’ Liquor Business, Indian Adulteration ‘Industry’ (IAI – The latest ‘declared’ industry UNDER Make In India programme!), Narcotics Smuggling & Sale (NSS!), International Arms Deals, Large scale human trafficking, flesh trade in Las Vegas & Grand road, Mumbai etc & I will ‘NEVER’ submit ‘FAKE’ HDIC, ‘printed’ in ‘my’ Counterfeit Currency Press (CCP!), underground, in the Hawaii Islands & Mariana Trench Area, failing which I would be ‘FROZEN’, again!

As the FIRST STEP to prevent the ‘LOSSES’, regularly occurring to the ‘HAPLESS’ TB customers, ‘Each’ of the employees of the TB ‘SHOULD’ give self attested declarations (Know Your TB Lootaccomplice – KYTBL!) , ‘INDIVIDUALLY’ & with government approved ID proof (Ha…ha….ha…!) & a couple of photos, to the respective customers of the ‘every’ TB branch STATING THAT (1) he/she has ‘NEVER’ been involved in any financial malpractices, any time in his/her employment period, (2) he/she has ‘NEVER’ defaulted on any loans taken anywhere during his/her life time, (3) he/she has ‘NO’ criminal background, (4) he/she has ‘NEVER’ been booked for any offence under Indian Law, (5) he/she has a ‘GOOD’ school leaving certificate (Indicating his/her personal integrity REQUIRED for  a Lootaccomplice….ha….ha..!!!), (6) he/she has ‘NO’ quarreling/aggressive attitude in his/her character, (7) he/she is a human & humane to all etc THAT every customer can WITHOUT FEAR deposit one’s own HARD earned money in the TB, at the least, @ the time of depositing! 

And, the RIGHT to DEEP FREEZE (RDF!) the employee & the particular TB branch in the Icy caverns of Antarctica will 'solely' rest on the shoulders of the respective TB branch customers if he/she is found to have ‘FALSIFIED’ in the ‘Self Declaration’ he/she has given to the TB customer!

It ‘SHOULD’ be added in ‘BOLD’ letters in the TB branch declaration that IF any money is lost to the customer, in any way –As it happened to me!- or any inconvenience is caused to him or her IT will be COMPENSATED, in no time, TAKING THE COMPENSATION ‘from’ the salary of the employee BECAUSE OF WHOM the loss occurred! (When a bank takes BACK from its own employee the money it lost due to his or her inefficiency or stupidity, the TB customer ‘ALSO’ has the SAME right to RECLAIM his/her losses!)

  

As, I am a person WHO, ‘like’ millions of other ordinary Indian TB customers, deposit MY WHITE MONEY in the TBs & its ‘NOT’ the TBs depositing their money in My Account, I, and, all other millions of TB customers (Or shall they be called ‘TB Patients’?!), all across India, have a right TO DEMAND the Know Your Bank (KYB!) doc , presented to EVERYONE that I & the other millions of THE CHEATED by the TBs come to KNOW what happens in the so called TB Industry (TBI!)!

As, We, The Indian Customers, ‘SHOULD’ Know Their ‘LOOTING’ Banks or Bank Lootere, the Looting Banks or Bank Lootere SHOULD give each of their customers a ‘declaration’ with the attested copies of ‘relevant’ (Ha….ha…ha…!) documents, attested copies of the photos of those Bank Thugs (BT!) who ‘HEAD’ the Common Customer Looting Programme (CCLP!) etc that we, the common TB customers, at the least, come to know the Treacherous ‘ETHICAL’ Business Practices (TEBP!) ‘HONESTLY’ followed in the TB Industry!

The declaration, We, the common TB customers, DEMAND & ‘ought to’ get ‘SHOULD’ also provide the ANSWERS for the following questions:

1)    ‘How’ the banks cheat their customers?

2)    How much they ‘make’ every financial year, CHEATING their customers?

3)    By ‘HIDDEN’ charges & all (Nothing but ‘CERTIFIED’ LOOTING Techniques - CLT!) ‘like’ withdrawal charges, ATM charges, cheque book charges, opening charges, closing charges, maintenance charges, minimum account NON maintenance charges, Bank Luteere charges, SB charges, Bank Luteere Union Charges (BLUC!), Sunday Charges, Monday Charges, Evening Charges & Morning Charges, Exceeding charges, Non exceeding charges, Active account charges, Inactive account charges etc HOW MUCH money they make, branchwise?

4)    What all methods they use to CHEAT their customers & the percentage wise statistics of ‘every’ method adopted?

5)    Where does the customers’ deposited money end up & @ what rate of interest?

6)    Why ‘SHOULD’ all the bank officials behave AS they are the Slave Bosses of India (‘SBI’……OMG!!!?) of the slave customers (SC!) WHEN, in Reality, the money is the common man customers’ (CMC!) & they are ‘ONLY’ the low grade accomplices of the Thug Tycoons of the so called banking industry?

7)    How the government of India & other Regulatory mechanisms ‘HELP’ banks ‘CHEAT’ their customers?

8)    When the inefficiency of the banking staff & the banks themselves make CRORES OF INDIANS’ MONEY go waste WHO THE BANKING ‘BASTARD’ IS HELD RESPONSIBLE?

9)    What happens to the HUGE amounts of money stored in these Thug Banks (TB!) without claims or, in reality, ‘FALSELY’ DECLARED as UNCLAIMED by the CHEAT BANKS?

10)                       Why they are NOT handing over the percentage decrease in the interest rates to the customers?

11)                       Why they ALWAYS HIKE interests UNPROPORTIONATELY when the RBI hikes interest rates?

12)                       Why the Bank Regulator Mechanisms ALWAYS ‘REGULATE’ the ordinary customers & NEVER the Thug Banks (TBs!)?

13)                       Why decades’ old ‘VERIFIED’ accounts ‘require’ reverification after reverification according to the ‘WHIMS & FANCIES’ of the STUPIDS in the banking Industry?

14)                       Is the Banking Industry all about ‘LOOTING’ the common customers & supplying the BOOTY to the Highwaymen Of Repute (HoR –‘Sounds’ familiar?!) SO THAT common man’s money can be ‘WRITTEN OFF’ as NPA (Non Performing Assets) etc?

15)                       Who ‘ALL’ help these shameless ‘TBs’ loot ordinary customers?

(There is a welcome suggestion, signed by millions of ‘NON ENTITY & NON EXISTENT’ netizens, doing the rounds, which is under ‘serious scrutiny’ of various financial departments & ministries to FIX ‘TB’ in front of all the banks in India as Mr, Mrs, Miss, Senorita, Messers etc are fixed in certain places, ALWAYS!)

An Interesting ‘RELATED’ Article From This Same Blog, Posted On 19^th, February, 2009 Can Be Read ‘HERE’!  

CHEAT, TRICK, DUPE - THE WAY WE DO BUSINESS IN INDIA!

CHEAT....CHEAT.....CHEAT.....TRICK......TRICK.......TRICK.......DUPE.....DUPE......DUPE.......! These words & their multiple synonyms have become the real time substitutes for Business or Doing Business in India! These are the only things which one should have to start a business these days! And, these are THE ONLY THINGS ONE REQUIRES to start a business & run it for ages & amass huge profits etc! Whatever business you do, you SHOULD IMPLEMENT 100% WORDS SUCH AS CHEAT, TRICK & DUPE etc or else you better think of anything else other than business or doing business! It is not a panchayat phrase or a district one....IT IS IMPLEMENTED ALL OVER INDIA TO THE BENEFIT OF THE POOR & STARVING BUSINESS MEN! Even such a question & answer duo have surfaced & got into the CAT, MAT, IAS, IPS & the like quality exams; it goes as this.....Q: What is it that is done when one cheats, tricks & dupes, in India?! And the very correct answer is A: Business!


From multi million dollar companies to the small pan-tea wallah follow this principle dutifully that WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, SOMEHOW REACHED THE TWENTIFIRST CENTURY WITH A "BANG"; HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IF THE BUSINEESSMEN OF India never implemented these words & their first cousins? It should have been total chaos, trillions of debt, poverty, illnesses, famine-like the one happened in Ethiopia!!-, drought, plague & what not?! India should have sunk deep into the depths of the Mariana Trench with all her people & the multi billion dollar business institutions like the pan-cigarette-tea wallah on the four-wheeler cycle & the broad & the not-so-broad band people! Hundreds & thousands of beverage shops, adulterated goods factories all over India, drug (like the innocent opium, ganja, charas, brown-sugar etc!) manufacturing & distribution factories & networks, which all help develop & maintain the National Coffers (Coffins?!) full will get annihilated in seconds & the nation itself will vanish from the face of the Earth, if the business & business people fail to use these above stated words or their synonyms! Hence, to avoid the disastrous & make the human beings in India prosper & move into the 22nd century - remember there was no vicious thinking in all these cases! - our business people single-mindedly & with (w)hole-hearted commitment implement/ed all these words 100% in whatever they do/did!


The non-pirated + legal + moral + in hundred ways eminently qualified- some of them even have Doctorates & PhDs attached to their names to have a sheet of self-confidence! - CD/DVD sellers with HUGE BRAND NAMEs & the so-called pan-India presence have been selling (or put better, thrust down the throat of THE SO-CALLED QUALITY-CONSCIOUS & BRAND-CONSCIOUS CUSTOMER!) their CDs & DVDs in 2 or 3 plastic covers from time immemorial in addition to the plastic covers they generously give away to their DEAR & SPECIAL CUSTOMERS – Read one & all! – @ the billing counters, when they buy one or more CDs or DVDs! These GOOD GUYS put Rs.150/- sticker on the original price-tag of M.R.P Rs 99/- & sell the CDs of a movie @ A HUGE DISCOUNT OF Rs. 75/- ONLY to the HUGELY GULLIBLE BRAND & QUALITY CONSCIOUS ANTI-PIRACY CUSTOMERS, who always walk straight-jacketed & only SPRINKLE SMILES! These straight businessmen with A HUGE BRAND NAMES sell VCDs in newly-designed plastic covers -1, 2 OR 3! - printing attractive things like ‘Brazil, France, London, Japan, Scandinavia etc’, for MUCH DISCOUNTED PRICE, ONLY TO BE OPENED IN ONE’S OWN RESIDENCE TO FIND OUT THE ‘QUALITY CONTENT’ WAS SHOT/RECORDED AT THE LEAST 15-20 YEARS BACK & WHAT ONE SEES WAS THE STATE/PLACE ‘JUST 20 YEARS AGO ONLY’!


These guys are extremely efficient in ‘COVERED-SELLING’ –No Pun Intended! - as they learn the tricks of the hand –specifically Covering & Hiding Something Non-Existent etc!-from the experts like Harry Houdini, David Copperfield & the others! These Law-Abiding, Good, Well-Doing, Strongly Anti-Pirate Business People will put –READ COVER/HIDE etc! - A QUALITYLESS, MUCH FADED MOVIE OF THE FIFTIES or SIXTIES or SEVETIES –WHERE FINDING OUT THE CHARACTERS, SCENERY, LOCATION etc ARE MORE DIFFICULT THAN DECIPHERING CUNEIFORM!- IN GOOD QUALITY LAYERS OF PLASTIC & SELL IT DEARLY AS IT IS SOME SORT OF AN ANTIQUE FROM MOHANJODARO or HARAPPA! They will offer a FREE MOVIE if you buy another one for exorbitant prices & never let you know what the FREE MOVIE inside is; and after buying the HIDDEN MOVIE, paying the hugely inflated amount for the VISIBLE MOVIE, it will be always very late when one finds out the FREE MOVIE IS A PIECE OF SHIT & A COUPLE OF DOZEN PERSONS HAVE COMMITED SUICIDE AFTER WATCHING THE ‘FREE HIDDEN MOVIE’ INSIDE! These great guys sell – REMEMBER, ALWAYS COVERED IN LAYERS OF IMPREGNABLE PLASTIC SHEETS! – 50% & more COVERED MOVIES – where you find the much famous INDIAN-TIE shading/covering the top 25-30% of the screen/movie & bottom 25-30% of the screen/movie, so as to prevent the vulgarity visible on the screen; which means, one sees only 40% of the movie on the screen paying 100% for it; and one can also see any number or actors & actresses delivering their emotional speeches without their heads, half of their bodies & sometimes even staying invisible on the screen!! – 20-40% REDUCED/CUT MOVIES, SONGS-REMOVED/CUT MOVIES, LAST PART-STUCK MOVIES etc!


THESE QUALITY BUSINESS PEOPLE cheat the so-called quality conscious customers by offering discount cards, where discounts are always near to the INDIAN INVENTED ‘0’! They only give out platinum, gold & silver discount cards of their brands & give no discounts! They sell everything on M.R.P (M.R.P = Maximum Retail Price; A LOT OF TIMES EVEN ALTERING THE M.R.Ps UPWARD!!) & never ever say a word on M.R.P, which is the MINIMUM RETAIL PRICE! THESE SAME BUSINESS PEOPLE in some other field CHEAT THE SO-CALLED QUALITY CONSCIOUS CUSTOMERS by offering 115kpbs+ & only giving 5 to 15 kpbs max......they have been doing this for years now, with impunity! THESE SAME BUSINESS PEOPLE for years have been charging gullible customers – read everyone! – all over India by putting caller tunes & other so-called bullshit value added services etc on the mobile phones etc, without the persons asking for it, with total impunity! And, there are THESE SAME BUSINESS PEOPLE charging Rs.1 as FRIDGE CHARGES for 200grams, 400grams etc of milk, curd etc....! And, there are millions of other ways too THESE SAME BUSINESS PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO CHEAT, TRICK & DUPE THE EASILY GULLIBLE QUALITY CONSCIOUS SITTING CUSTOMER DUCKS! Let’s hope one day, like Ratnakara who changed himself to Valmiki to write Great Ramayana, THESE SAME CHEATING, TRICKING & DUPING BUSINESS PEOPLE will write some magnum opuses on CHEATING, TRICKING, DUPING etc which will last eons!