Thug Banks - TB – In India!

Almost a year back, when one of our friends went to the Bank Of India branch in Hanumanthnagar, Bangalore, to get a new Debit card in the place of an expired one, she was told by an arrogant bank Lootaccomplice (A person who is a partner or helper in the process of LOOTING, HELPING the bank to ‘TRICK’ the customers, efficiently!) to bring her PAN card, which she NEVER HAD, to have a new one! The FACT that she had been using the account for 11 or so years was ‘NOT’ enough for the Lootaccomplice, who was DEAD BENT on making her apply for a ‘PAN CARD’, one of the million identity cards an ordinary Indian IS ‘FORCED’ to carry, making one remember the ‘CARD CARRYING SYSTEM’ for the ‘BLACKS & BROWNS’ in the Imperial South Africa, wherefrom ‘one’ MK Gandhi arrived in India, more than a century before, in 1915!

A couple of years ago, I learned that I could ‘REVIVE’ (Under various revival schemes –Schemes ‘schemed’ by the ‘scheming’ schemers of Thug Bank Industry (TBI!)!- initiated by the ‘NEW’ government policies of ‘THAT’ time!) my expired or out of service account in Canara Bank, which I started 20-25 years ago, by ‘GIVING’ the THUG BANK (TB as in TB the disease which wasted one’s Life, slowly!) 1500 or more Indian rupees, as my account ‘STOPPED” functioning due to the continuous decrease of  money in my account DUE to the non minimum balance theory (NMBT!) the TB practiced (Which means ONCE the TB stipulated minimum balance in my account dipped a rupee or so below the TB ‘stipulated’ 1000/- , which was ‘NOT’ the case when I opened the account decades back, and, TBs can ‘STIPULATE’ & ‘RESTIPULATE’ any time they wish !) they ‘KEPT’ reducing ‘PENALTIES’ from my account ‘REGULARLY’ for a certain number of months, making the account (And, ofcourse me, the TB Account Holder –TBAH!) INDEBTED to the TB for MORE than 1500 Highly Devalued Indian Currency (HDIC!)! The very moment I heard this, I DISAPPERED from the TB Canara Bank premises!

Now a days, I NEVER EVER dare to go even a couple of kilometers near the TB Canara Bank, where I had my decades old TB Account AS I seriously suspect that they WILL SIEZE me & auction me in the ‘OPEN’ commodity market to SQUEEZ the more than 1500 HDIC & it’s interest out of me! When I read various ‘MANIPULATED’ financial news articles (MFNA!) on the various TBs of India, I ALWAYS scan for my own photo being printed there ‘DECLARING’ me an absconding Harshad Mehta or Liem Nielson who made the TB ‘tank’ under the weight of the HUGE debt (Of 1500 or so HDIC & it’s FAST growing interest!) or in the words of the ‘current’ trend –Non Performing Asset, NPA - I owe it!

When I gave a cheque to one of my friends on 12/02/16, Friday, LITTLE did I know that another one of the TBs, in the name of Catholic Syrian Bank (CSB!), where I have an account for almost 2 decades, will ‘BOUNCE’ my cheque stating that my account had been ‘FROZEN’, charging him 250/- in the process! Hearing this over the phone I FROZE myself! I could ‘NOT’ help thinking about my STATURE in the Republic of India! From my school days, I have a notion that ‘ONLY’ Important or Notorious persons got their account ‘FROZEN’ and it can be considered as a sign of the person, whose account has been ‘FROZEN’, as someone ‘NOT’ ordinary and, ofcourse, EXTRAORDINARY!

It took a couple of LOOOOOONG minutes for me to come out of this DEEP FROZEN state! I wondered whether I have enlisted myself in ISI or IS or Now Extinct ULFA or Al Qaeda, ‘in my dreams’ OR I have been ‘seriously’ suspected of HIDING a couple of Multiple Independently Targeted Reentry Vehicles (MIRVs!) & nuclear submarines ‘under’ my pillow to wage war against the nation THAT the so called AUTHORITIES, who ‘ONLY’ has, in India, the ‘Right To Freeze’ (RTF!), froze my assets!  

Frozen, though NOT deep frozen, I called the TB Catholic Syrian Bank & the woman on the other end started ‘LECTURING’ about my ‘FAILURE’ to give THE CSB THUGS the so called ‘KYC’ doc duly filled, ‘despite’ them sending me 3-4 letters, in my address, in this regard, in the last 12 or so months, ‘WHICH’, to my great surprise, I ‘NEVER’ GOT (“Should I ‘SUE’ the postal department for SWALLOWING UP all the 3-4 letters TB CSB ‘INVISIBLY’ sent me, spending a couple of decades in the Eternal Indian Courts (EICs!), spending whatever I earn?”, was the question, I knew, that ‘SHE’ wanted ‘to’ GROW, in my ‘FROZEN’ mind!)! She also ‘ARROGANTLY KINDLY’ informed me that they would ‘NEVER’ refund anything of the 250/- lost to my friend ‘solely’ due to THEIR ‘UNILATERAL’ FREEZING OF MY ACCOUNT, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, meaning I SHOULD shell out 250/- from ‘my pocket’ to give back the money my friend lost DUE TO TB Catholic Syrian Bank’s arrogant, stupid & uncalled for ‘dastardly’ act!

It was interesting to know that ‘THEY’ accepted the money deposited in the ‘FROZEN’ account on 5^th of this month (February, 2016!), ‘WITHOUT’ ME SUBMITTING THE SO CALLED ALL IMPORTANT ‘KYC’ doc, about which they ‘PRETEND’ they sent me 3-4 letters in the last 12 months or so, in which I am asked to ‘CERTIFY’ that I am ‘NOT’ a member of ISIS, ISI of Pakistan, Al Qaeda etc and I am ‘not’ working for the Chinese or the SS or Dawood for my living and all the money I deposit in the Thug Bank (TB!) is ‘not’ coming from the ‘Hawala Deal’, ‘Fake’ Currency Business, ‘Illicit’ Liquor Business, Indian Adulteration ‘Industry’ (IAI – The latest ‘declared’ industry UNDER Make In India programme!), Narcotics Smuggling & Sale (NSS!), International Arms Deals, Large scale human trafficking, flesh trade in Las Vegas & Grand road, Mumbai etc & I will ‘NEVER’ submit ‘FAKE’ HDIC, ‘printed’ in ‘my’ Counterfeit Currency Press (CCP!), underground, in the Hawaii Islands & Mariana Trench Area, failing which I would be ‘FROZEN’, again!

As the FIRST STEP to prevent the ‘LOSSES’, regularly occurring to the ‘HAPLESS’ TB customers, ‘Each’ of the employees of the TB ‘SHOULD’ give self attested declarations (Know Your TB Lootaccomplice – KYTBL!) , ‘INDIVIDUALLY’ & with government approved ID proof (Ha…ha….ha…!) & a couple of photos, to the respective customers of the ‘every’ TB branch STATING THAT (1) he/she has ‘NEVER’ been involved in any financial malpractices, any time in his/her employment period, (2) he/she has ‘NEVER’ defaulted on any loans taken anywhere during his/her life time, (3) he/she has ‘NO’ criminal background, (4) he/she has ‘NEVER’ been booked for any offence under Indian Law, (5) he/she has a ‘GOOD’ school leaving certificate (Indicating his/her personal integrity REQUIRED for  a Lootaccomplice….ha….ha..!!!), (6) he/she has ‘NO’ quarreling/aggressive attitude in his/her character, (7) he/she is a human & humane to all etc THAT every customer can WITHOUT FEAR deposit one’s own HARD earned money in the TB, at the least, @ the time of depositing! 

And, the RIGHT to DEEP FREEZE (RDF!) the employee & the particular TB branch in the Icy caverns of Antarctica will 'solely' rest on the shoulders of the respective TB branch customers if he/she is found to have ‘FALSIFIED’ in the ‘Self Declaration’ he/she has given to the TB customer!

It ‘SHOULD’ be added in ‘BOLD’ letters in the TB branch declaration that IF any money is lost to the customer, in any way –As it happened to me!- or any inconvenience is caused to him or her IT will be COMPENSATED, in no time, TAKING THE COMPENSATION ‘from’ the salary of the employee BECAUSE OF WHOM the loss occurred! (When a bank takes BACK from its own employee the money it lost due to his or her inefficiency or stupidity, the TB customer ‘ALSO’ has the SAME right to RECLAIM his/her losses!)

  

As, I am a person WHO, ‘like’ millions of other ordinary Indian TB customers, deposit MY WHITE MONEY in the TBs & its ‘NOT’ the TBs depositing their money in My Account, I, and, all other millions of TB customers (Or shall they be called ‘TB Patients’?!), all across India, have a right TO DEMAND the Know Your Bank (KYB!) doc , presented to EVERYONE that I & the other millions of THE CHEATED by the TBs come to KNOW what happens in the so called TB Industry (TBI!)!

As, We, The Indian Customers, ‘SHOULD’ Know Their ‘LOOTING’ Banks or Bank Lootere, the Looting Banks or Bank Lootere SHOULD give each of their customers a ‘declaration’ with the attested copies of ‘relevant’ (Ha….ha…ha…!) documents, attested copies of the photos of those Bank Thugs (BT!) who ‘HEAD’ the Common Customer Looting Programme (CCLP!) etc that we, the common TB customers, at the least, come to know the Treacherous ‘ETHICAL’ Business Practices (TEBP!) ‘HONESTLY’ followed in the TB Industry!

The declaration, We, the common TB customers, DEMAND & ‘ought to’ get ‘SHOULD’ also provide the ANSWERS for the following questions:

1)    ‘How’ the banks cheat their customers?

2)    How much they ‘make’ every financial year, CHEATING their customers?

3)    By ‘HIDDEN’ charges & all (Nothing but ‘CERTIFIED’ LOOTING Techniques - CLT!) ‘like’ withdrawal charges, ATM charges, cheque book charges, opening charges, closing charges, maintenance charges, minimum account NON maintenance charges, Bank Luteere charges, SB charges, Bank Luteere Union Charges (BLUC!), Sunday Charges, Monday Charges, Evening Charges & Morning Charges, Exceeding charges, Non exceeding charges, Active account charges, Inactive account charges etc HOW MUCH money they make, branchwise?

4)    What all methods they use to CHEAT their customers & the percentage wise statistics of ‘every’ method adopted?

5)    Where does the customers’ deposited money end up & @ what rate of interest?

6)    Why ‘SHOULD’ all the bank officials behave AS they are the Slave Bosses of India (‘SBI’……OMG!!!?) of the slave customers (SC!) WHEN, in Reality, the money is the common man customers’ (CMC!) & they are ‘ONLY’ the low grade accomplices of the Thug Tycoons of the so called banking industry?

7)    How the government of India & other Regulatory mechanisms ‘HELP’ banks ‘CHEAT’ their customers?

8)    When the inefficiency of the banking staff & the banks themselves make CRORES OF INDIANS’ MONEY go waste WHO THE BANKING ‘BASTARD’ IS HELD RESPONSIBLE?

9)    What happens to the HUGE amounts of money stored in these Thug Banks (TB!) without claims or, in reality, ‘FALSELY’ DECLARED as UNCLAIMED by the CHEAT BANKS?

10)                       Why they are NOT handing over the percentage decrease in the interest rates to the customers?

11)                       Why they ALWAYS HIKE interests UNPROPORTIONATELY when the RBI hikes interest rates?

12)                       Why the Bank Regulator Mechanisms ALWAYS ‘REGULATE’ the ordinary customers & NEVER the Thug Banks (TBs!)?

13)                       Why decades’ old ‘VERIFIED’ accounts ‘require’ reverification after reverification according to the ‘WHIMS & FANCIES’ of the STUPIDS in the banking Industry?

14)                       Is the Banking Industry all about ‘LOOTING’ the common customers & supplying the BOOTY to the Highwaymen Of Repute (HoR –‘Sounds’ familiar?!) SO THAT common man’s money can be ‘WRITTEN OFF’ as NPA (Non Performing Assets) etc?

15)                       Who ‘ALL’ help these shameless ‘TBs’ loot ordinary customers?

(There is a welcome suggestion, signed by millions of ‘NON ENTITY & NON EXISTENT’ netizens, doing the rounds, which is under ‘serious scrutiny’ of various financial departments & ministries to FIX ‘TB’ in front of all the banks in India as Mr, Mrs, Miss, Senorita, Messers etc are fixed in certain places, ALWAYS!)

An Interesting ‘RELATED’ Article From This Same Blog, Posted On 19^th, February, 2009 Can Be Read ‘HERE’!  

Paying Taxes Via Thugs, Cheats, Adulterators, Whores, Kidnappers and others!

The finance minister is thinking night & day to introduce new taxes & bring more & more persons & services under the tax net in the oncoming budget! It is heard that he eats less & sleeps less & burns the midnight oil as well, these days – remember the oil costs much more than in the good old nasty days of slower moments & slower everything!

In the good old nasty days people had to spent at the least a couple of weeks to file their tax returns that ‘the powers that be’ wasted the amount collected in myriads of methods they indigenously conceived! Then came faster return filings through internet & other MODERN TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS that the respective & respectable governments can gather ‘whatever is due’ as fast as possible & waste even the last single paisa of it in no time; everything became much faster!

‘Taxes have to be paid’ is common knowledge as it is only these DUELY GIVEN TAXES are there in the avarice coffers of the respective & at the same time respectable governments to be spent senselessly – from the perspective of the Common Man! - & intelligently – from the spenders’ perspective & made sure that not a single paisa is left behind in the greedy coffers that the coffers themselves gobble it up! As it is reported in the media a million times that the governments are always well aware of those ‘ANTI NATIONAL ANIMALS/ELEMENTS’ which always skip the TAXING PROCESS! Hence, mopping up the DUE TAXES, somehow, has become the most urgent & all important job a finance minister has to do in his life time! He knows pretty well that even if he blinks for a second or two crores of ‘taxes due’ would go up in the wind; hence he has to become ALERT & ATTENTION PERSONIFIED!

As he doesn’t trust much the present modern technologically advanced system in the matter of collecting the taxes, he has entrusted everyone in the country to collect the taxes somehow & prove their LOYALTY TO THE NATION! And, that is the very thing happening in our country where, now a days, we have ‘the most modern facility to pay our taxes’ through the thugs, cheats, adulterators, whores, kidnappers, anti social elements, goondas, mafia, blackmarketeers, pirates, greedy policemen (very common these days due to the technological, economical & cultural elevation of the society & much improved living standard & conditions - according to the turbaned prime minister!), public servants –those who serve (themselves!) publically! - & a million others!

Hence, all the persons in India, as it has become an unwritten law, has the right & responsibility to collect taxes & put whatever they collect in the every greedy coffers of the respective & respectable governments! That is why the person who buys the 80% adulterated milk -with urea, whitener & other indigenous materials- has to pay the DUE TAXES to the government via those who adulterated what he buys & drinks; that’s why those who have been buying ‘ATTA’ all these years have been ceremoniously taxed by the respective & respectable governments though what the buyer bought & fed their generations was adulterated with Benzoic Acid 400 times more than what is permitted & Bleaching Powder 2000 times more than what is permitted (It is claimed by the governments & the authorities who permit ‘what to mix to adulterate democratically’ that the common man is getting FREE NUTRITION UNDER VARIOUS GOVERNMENT SCHEMES in the forms of Benzoic Acid & Bleaching Powder etc!)!

That is why one has to pay the service tax of 10.3% to the service centre thug who just did nothing but keeping the thing you had given for checking for more than 2 months & unashamedly gave it back - when you went there to find out whether the thing you had given has germinated or what!?- saying that the repair would lighten your pockets by a fewer thousands of rupees for a non-existent problem (He must be a very strong believer of ‘Sarwam Maya Jagath Mithya’ theory, as he had fixed the photo of the god who said it in some other context, in his fleecing -For him service & fleecing are the same- centre that the TAX EVADING CUSTOMERS come to know what is going to happen to them who EVADE TAXES!’) etc!

That is why the person who is kidnapped or the persons related to him have to pay the service tax of 10.3% on the ransom given to the kidnappers for the quality services –kidnapping included! - rendered by them! That is why the person who needs a receipt from the whore to keep it as the memorabilia of his first sexual encounter has to cough up an additional 10.3% service tax for the services rendered by her, if one wants a bill -the option of NOT ASKING THE BILL IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE WITH HER FOR THOSE WHO STILL WANTS TO CHEAT THE GOVERNMENT COFFERS! The professional cheats & robbers also has become the tax collecting centres of late as they too charge you with a service tax of 10.3% in addition to the service charge –The Materials They Steal From You Included!- they take for the great services rendered without your permission & knowledge, and that ofcourse ONLY IF you ask for a bill from them!

The law abiding & enforcing policemen would give a receipt, that too only if you insist on one, charging a service tax of additional 200/- on a 100/- bill, for parking your bike accidently on the wrong side of the road where a number of other vehicles were also parked –For the wrong side parking the bill is only 100/- & the bill which is given to you is printed in the law enforcing & abiding honourable police man’s own printing press behind his simple garage of 10 Rolls Royses, which he bought BY EKING OUT ‘small small’ AMOUNTS from the MEAGRE SALARY HE DREW FROM THE PUBLIC COFFERS are common knowledge- & never charged is another matter!

Now a days, whenever one gives a bribe to have anything in one’s favour – Even if one is entitled to what one asks for!- the bribe taker –All over India it is followed traditionally & systematically by the various unions of bribe takers as they are very eager to fill the ever greedy government coffers!- always take an additional 10.3% more from the bribe giver as he is a Constitutionally, Legally, Morally, & TAXINGLY correct person who puts the 10.3% service tax collected from the bribe giver directly into the much starved coffers of the government, which some say is 40% below the poverty line, though the governments all over the years have been passionately & vehemently arguing that the government coffers are ONLY A SINGLE DIGIT below the poverty line!

Lets us hope for the best for the tax collecting system we have here in our SECULAR, SOCIALIST, BRIBE-TAKING INDIA! Let’s hope that every person living in India pays the taxes in time even though one is GIVEN NOTHING IN RETURN & WHATEVER ONE GETS IS THE ADULTARATED, THE DUPLICATE, THE TOXIC, THE ILLUSORY, NEVER VALUE FOR MONEY, THE SUB STANDARD, CHEATING, TRICKING, STEALING etc! And, let’s keep giving OUR TAXES properly that OUR GOVERNMENTS can loot us in a very systematic & well designed way, till the end of days!