Nuclear Material, Indian Currency & The Fear Factor!

Whenever I get a 100, 500 or 1000 rupee note, I run to the near by CBI office & consult an expert in the currency department & force an assertion that it is not a counterfeit note! Or else, I even fear to breathe in & out and take my cup of pesticide-filled tea! And, of late, I start to tremble whenever I get or handle a note which’s denomination is 100 or more! Nothing in life I fear more than handling these notes, now a days!

I often have nightmares in which I find myself standing on a tower trying to prove that the notes I gave were not fake ones & if they were, they were not printed on the note-printing machine, which is quite common a commodity traded openly in the market & even on the footpath! But, luckily, I manage to wake up when the situation goes out of my control, when I fail to prove to those all around me in the dream that I am not a note printing machine! In the dream, the blind man always tells me that the onus is on me to prove that I am not the person who printed the note, I am not the man who bought the strictly & confidentially traded paper on which the note is printed, I am not the person who designed the so-complicated note, I am not the person who ever had an idea to print a fake note myself, I am not the man who ever wished to cheat people and one's country & ‘another hundreds of I am not the persons’! I tremble non-stop when I think of the condition in which I might fail to wake up from the nightmare!

I have heard about the persons, who all their lives fruitlessly tried to prove their innocence, behind the bars of interrogation cells! Of course, most of them didn’t have the machinery to prove they didn’t do the printing & publishing of the great art work they are supposedly have done - the Indian rupee! In life, they must have learned real time that proving a wrong assumption wrong is more difficult than proving the Mount Everest the highest point on earth, in Indian Quality Conditions!

We have to understand that it is so simple to make & distribute fake Indian currency as the trusted banking system (but it is a FACT that they never asked anyone to trust them!) too is an integral part of it, as has been proven by the seizure of crores of rupee worth fake Indian currency from a branch of a well reputed bank in north India just a year ago! And, we as Indians should be happy to know that this well reputed bank have hundreds of branches all over India that we all can have our share of fake Indian currency, as nobody in India should complain against segregation in the matter of Counterfeit Currency Handling & Circulation!

We have been told by our own governments, all these years that they have been trying hard to counter billions of dollars worth Black/Parallel Economy in India which is a creation of Our Good Old Neighbor Pakistan & Our Good Old Neighbor Prints Billions Of Indian Rupee Worth Indian Fake Currency and Distribute through their well established Indian lanes & by lanes! We, as Indians, trust our government! Our sensible government also canceled an order they had given to a western company when it came it to be known that this company was selling the machines, on which we printed our trusted currency, to our dear & trusted neighbor as well! Despite all this when a person ever gives ‘An Unknowing Fake Note' to some Mind Reader who can read the notes as well, that ‘Single Note Owner's life’ goes for a toss! From then on, for him, the Sun rises in the west & life is far miserable compared to hell! It’s interesting to note that in all these years thousands have lost their hard earned money when the Same Morally Integral Banks Tore Away or Put In The Incinerator the Fake Notes which they identified with their Sharply -Trained Eagle-Eyes! No one is given equal amount of money in return, ever, as it has been 'Considered By The Authorities Concerned' that ALL THE EVIL NOTES SHOULD BE DESTROYED MERCILESSLY & THE PERSON WHO SUBMITTED THEM SHOULD SUFFER INSUFFERABLY!

Just to get kicks out of it, THE EAGLE-EYED BANKS HAVE ALSO INSTALLED FAKE-CURRENCY-PROVIDING ATMs that they can effortlessly circulate fake currency to THE NON-EAGLE-EYED COMMONOR and trap him for ever when he submits the same fake notes provided by these sadists somewhere, & crucify him thread-bare! [One can prevent this situation, they say, if 1) one keeps the transaction receipt with oneself, 2) remember the Taxi cab number one travelled in - memories of Ramanujan-Hardy?! - while going to take the single fake hundred rupee note, 3) remember the colour of the underwear the sleeping ATM guard worn which sneaked out of his low-waist pants, 4) remember the number of steps - memories of Sherlock Holems-Dr.Watson?! - in front of the step-less counterfeit currency provider ATM etc!] Of course it is an interesting game where the TV channels too can play their scoops & trivia about the fake note, the fake-note submitter’s love affair, his interests & non-interests, the fake note & its philosophical angle & ‘NEWS-LIKELY PROMOTE THE BRAND OF THE ATM MACHINE’, from where the fake note ‘IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE COME OUT’ & THE BRAND OF THE MACHINE WHICH IDENTIFIED THE SINGLE FAKE NOTE WITH DEXTERITY!

When the Real Culprit Is/Can’t Be Found, It Has Become The Duty Of The Authorities To Nail Someone Who Does Not Have The Means & Strength To Defend himself, and make him sing like a canary! Carrying a revolver, knife, bomb, nuclear material, Indian currency etc & their use falls under the same kind of unpardonable offense, which all will be & have to be dealt with the capital punishment!! Indian currency denominations of more than Rs100, if one is bent on carrying & using them, have to be certified by a gazetted officer not less than in the rank of the governor of a state or the RBI governor! My Papa said in his days it was not dangerous to carry & use Indian currency and in those days while carrying currency they only had to fear the local thieves or the very local pick-pockets! But today a person who carries it should fear all & sundry including the police, CBI, interrogation cells & all the other sort of mechanisms & be prepared to die proving one's innocence, taking hundreds of years, as when there is suspicion in India, it means it is an established fact! And, here in India we have a well established (time-tested!) expert system & machinery which can even prove an Indian monkey is the nearest kin of a polar bear and snakes & donkeys are brothers and sisters, and they arrived from Mars & Venus, respectively!!