Sreesanth The Sinner & The Ethical Cricket Country!

Sreesanth was the stalwart of Indian bowling who was going to become either a Denis Lillie or Sir Richard Hardly or a Kapil Dev, for sure! This infuriated Harbajan Singh, among a lot of others, the classic act of spin bowling (Howling?!) so much that he slapped Sreesanth, which was well inside the Cricket Ethic Book of India that Sreesanth got warning (Threat will be a more suitable word!) that if he again shows his face to the religiously ethics following Harbajan in such a fashion that he slaps again, Sreesanth would be banned for life, as according to the Indian Book of Cricket Ethics, enticing (with a great cheek such as that of Sreesanth!) is the BIGGEST CRIME of all!

Sreesanth was admonished by all the Ethical People of Indian cricket in such a way that he hid his cheeks behind his back! Even his complaints were severely butchered & beaten down by the Ethic Indian Cricket People & even the Constitutional Right To Cry when slapped was rudely taken away from the Speedster by the Ethical People! He was left high & dry.....! No one was there to back him in his hour of need as he was the loner from the tiny state of Kerala, who somehow found a shaky place inside the Dominant Northern Indian Ethical Cricket Team!

He ruminated about the slap, at the least a trillion times, in his lonely hours & the Ethical Indian Cricket! And, when he coughed up courage to speak up against the injustice he had vis-a-vis the Slap Gate, after near a couple of years, he let his emotions flow infront of the media, which irked the Wholesomely Ethical Indian Cricket Fraternity! Sreesanth was again WARNED (Threatened, as usual!) by the Ethical Guardians of Indian Cricket, including the Very Ethical President of Indian Ethical Cricket, India Cement Srinivasan! Whether he carried a personal grudge against Sreesanth is NOT proven till going to press!

Sreesanth again ran back to his den carrying all his allegations, emotions, pictures of Slap Gate etc on his back! And, it is here, in his den of solitude, he succumbed to the vicious attack of the Punters, Betters, Fixers etc, is the latest find of the NASA Space Research Centre! Till That Point All Clean Indian IPL & Ethical Cricket Fraternity (ECF) all of a sudden found themselves deeply involved in betting, scams, fixing etc ONLY because of this Slap Gate tainted Sreesanth!

All of a sudden Sreesanth was arrested with some ‘well known nobodies’ of cricket & presented before the media & court as the King Pin of the Italian Mafia! And, the charges were pressed against him in no time that he with his millions of ‘invisible’ cronies has siphoned off trillions of dollars from the Public Betting Exchequer (PBE)! It is ‘proved beyond any doubt’ that it is Sreesanth who planned, built maintained etc this Betting & Fixing Network (BFN) in India, all these decades; if some one has any doubts one can ask Mohammed Azharuddin, a former great Ethical Cricketer Of India, who has become an MP in Our Ethical Nation of Secular Democracy!

It is proved beyond any doubt that the ‘40’ lakhs is the total amount of betting & fixing, all these years of betting & fixing & none other than the King Pin Sreesanth has the wherewithal in India & ofcourse would run such an all encompassing racket! All the near to undecipherable secret codes of the betters, fixers, & tricksters, like lifting a finger, hand kerchief, the right end of the Indian Tie (IT) the fixer wares etc, are smartly & efficiently decoded by FBI, taking millions of Super Computer hours & with the help of the Large Hadron Collider etc!

The 2.5 rupees of the total 40 lakhs Sreesanth got for all his cronies were found out by the CBI, Interpol & the Now Defunct KGB (Using the services of the Retired Agents!) in a combined operation (Code Named Operation Tip Of  The Indian Tie!) from the top of the European Closet he used, after 2 weeks of his arrest! The other 3 rupee pile he left running from the ever energetic sleuths on the brink of the sink he stopped to wash his face also have been recovered, with much difficulty- the info whether the pile was consisting of 1 paisa coins or 2 paisa coins or 5 paisa coins still falls under ‘The Classifieds’!

Now, it is also reported, by various media agencies, that thousands of border security personnel have been pressed into service from the ‘ACNE’ Aksai Chin Area to find out where all Sreesanth has hidden his  MIND BOGGLING ‘40’ lakhs, in two, three, four, five rupee collections! They are also reportedly utilising the great services of the Molessier dogs the Chinese used in the Daulat Beg Oldie to find out the Coin Piles! The various possible structures of coin packing or packaging are elaborately studied by the experts in Suitcase Packing from the Narasimha Rao Era! They are also doing ground breaking research in finding out the number of coins one can hold efficiently inside a Fixer’s or Spotter’s hand kerchief or Indian Tie (IT)!

CBI, IB, Crime Branch & Local police are into finding out whether Sreesanth has connections with the Italian Marines who shot dead 2 Indian fisher men, Hiroshima Blast, Davood Ibrahim, Italian Mafia, Mafia Sasi & other International networks! They are also planning to find out from Sreesanth what sort of network he used to secretly hide THIS MUCH OF A HUGE AMOUNT (40 LAKHS!)! All is sure that only Sreesanth & no other cricketer of worth is involved in these things of Unethical Things; and, Sreesanth is the be all & end all of all these fixes & scandals!

The otherwise Clean & Ethical Cricket of India is just trying to come out of the blemish Sreesanth has forced on it!  A Salwa Judlum programme ‘Any doubt ask Azar!’ has been started to air via the Highly Ethical Media to take back the Lost Via Sreesanth ‘Credibility & ‘Credit Rating of  IPL & Indian Cricket Ethics! Lets us make sure that Sreesanth should pay for the HUGE damage he has done to Ethical Cricket in India & Its Great Ethical Cricketers!

Let us, spending tax payers money, press in the services of the greatest lawyers of the country & outside that Sreesanth remains in the prison for all the centuries to come that the Ethically & Legally Greedy & Tricky People of Money Making India sleep comfortably on their Indian Cement Benches, MP Beds, Sugar Cushions etc for all the centuries the Sinner Sreesanth spent in the cell!

And, then only, we, the democratic & secular people of India, who have no other worries other than the Sinful Sreesanth taking the Universal Amount 40 lakhs for his 1 million cronies to lift the left end of his black & white hand kerchief during an over where he would give away an incredible 14 runs -Where giving more than 14 is a fad!- in a very insignificant IPL match between the northern dwarfs & little den monkeys, can rest in peace; then only can the 40 crores of people below the poverty line in India have, at the least, the spending power of 17 rupees a day; then only can large scale farmer suicides of Vidharbha & Marthvada be stopped; then only can the slums of Calcutta & Bombay be sanitised; then only can every Indian have potable drinking water for all the generations to come; then only will the lakhs of babies who die in the birth, yearly in India will stop dying; then only can the thousands of women who are forced into prostitution due to various reason be saved; then only can the mindless & shameless exploitation of the nature & natural resources be stopped!

Hence, let the Sinner Sreesanth who played with the hefty amount of 40 lakhs be crucified for all his unpardonable sins as that is the One & Only Real Problem Facing an Ever Peaceful, Ethical, Sinner - less, Truthful, Democratic, Secular India! Let With Sinner Sreesanth End All The Sins & Lies In India! “Satyameva Jayathe!”