CHEAT, TRICK, DUPE - THE WAY WE DO BUSINESS IN INDIA!

CHEAT....CHEAT.....CHEAT.....TRICK......TRICK.......TRICK.......DUPE.....DUPE......DUPE.......! These words & their multiple synonyms have become the real time substitutes for Business or Doing Business in India! These are the only things which one should have to start a business these days! And, these are THE ONLY THINGS ONE REQUIRES to start a business & run it for ages & amass huge profits etc! Whatever business you do, you SHOULD IMPLEMENT 100% WORDS SUCH AS CHEAT, TRICK & DUPE etc or else you better think of anything else other than business or doing business! It is not a panchayat phrase or a district one....IT IS IMPLEMENTED ALL OVER INDIA TO THE BENEFIT OF THE POOR & STARVING BUSINESS MEN! Even such a question & answer duo have surfaced & got into the CAT, MAT, IAS, IPS & the like quality exams; it goes as this.....Q: What is it that is done when one cheats, tricks & dupes, in India?! And the very correct answer is A: Business!


From multi million dollar companies to the small pan-tea wallah follow this principle dutifully that WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, SOMEHOW REACHED THE TWENTIFIRST CENTURY WITH A "BANG"; HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IF THE BUSINEESSMEN OF India never implemented these words & their first cousins? It should have been total chaos, trillions of debt, poverty, illnesses, famine-like the one happened in Ethiopia!!-, drought, plague & what not?! India should have sunk deep into the depths of the Mariana Trench with all her people & the multi billion dollar business institutions like the pan-cigarette-tea wallah on the four-wheeler cycle & the broad & the not-so-broad band people! Hundreds & thousands of beverage shops, adulterated goods factories all over India, drug (like the innocent opium, ganja, charas, brown-sugar etc!) manufacturing & distribution factories & networks, which all help develop & maintain the National Coffers (Coffins?!) full will get annihilated in seconds & the nation itself will vanish from the face of the Earth, if the business & business people fail to use these above stated words or their synonyms! Hence, to avoid the disastrous & make the human beings in India prosper & move into the 22nd century - remember there was no vicious thinking in all these cases! - our business people single-mindedly & with (w)hole-hearted commitment implement/ed all these words 100% in whatever they do/did!


The non-pirated + legal + moral + in hundred ways eminently qualified- some of them even have Doctorates & PhDs attached to their names to have a sheet of self-confidence! - CD/DVD sellers with HUGE BRAND NAMEs & the so-called pan-India presence have been selling (or put better, thrust down the throat of THE SO-CALLED QUALITY-CONSCIOUS & BRAND-CONSCIOUS CUSTOMER!) their CDs & DVDs in 2 or 3 plastic covers from time immemorial in addition to the plastic covers they generously give away to their DEAR & SPECIAL CUSTOMERS – Read one & all! – @ the billing counters, when they buy one or more CDs or DVDs! These GOOD GUYS put Rs.150/- sticker on the original price-tag of M.R.P Rs 99/- & sell the CDs of a movie @ A HUGE DISCOUNT OF Rs. 75/- ONLY to the HUGELY GULLIBLE BRAND & QUALITY CONSCIOUS ANTI-PIRACY CUSTOMERS, who always walk straight-jacketed & only SPRINKLE SMILES! These straight businessmen with A HUGE BRAND NAMES sell VCDs in newly-designed plastic covers -1, 2 OR 3! - printing attractive things like ‘Brazil, France, London, Japan, Scandinavia etc’, for MUCH DISCOUNTED PRICE, ONLY TO BE OPENED IN ONE’S OWN RESIDENCE TO FIND OUT THE ‘QUALITY CONTENT’ WAS SHOT/RECORDED AT THE LEAST 15-20 YEARS BACK & WHAT ONE SEES WAS THE STATE/PLACE ‘JUST 20 YEARS AGO ONLY’!


These guys are extremely efficient in ‘COVERED-SELLING’ –No Pun Intended! - as they learn the tricks of the hand –specifically Covering & Hiding Something Non-Existent etc!-from the experts like Harry Houdini, David Copperfield & the others! These Law-Abiding, Good, Well-Doing, Strongly Anti-Pirate Business People will put –READ COVER/HIDE etc! - A QUALITYLESS, MUCH FADED MOVIE OF THE FIFTIES or SIXTIES or SEVETIES –WHERE FINDING OUT THE CHARACTERS, SCENERY, LOCATION etc ARE MORE DIFFICULT THAN DECIPHERING CUNEIFORM!- IN GOOD QUALITY LAYERS OF PLASTIC & SELL IT DEARLY AS IT IS SOME SORT OF AN ANTIQUE FROM MOHANJODARO or HARAPPA! They will offer a FREE MOVIE if you buy another one for exorbitant prices & never let you know what the FREE MOVIE inside is; and after buying the HIDDEN MOVIE, paying the hugely inflated amount for the VISIBLE MOVIE, it will be always very late when one finds out the FREE MOVIE IS A PIECE OF SHIT & A COUPLE OF DOZEN PERSONS HAVE COMMITED SUICIDE AFTER WATCHING THE ‘FREE HIDDEN MOVIE’ INSIDE! These great guys sell – REMEMBER, ALWAYS COVERED IN LAYERS OF IMPREGNABLE PLASTIC SHEETS! – 50% & more COVERED MOVIES – where you find the much famous INDIAN-TIE shading/covering the top 25-30% of the screen/movie & bottom 25-30% of the screen/movie, so as to prevent the vulgarity visible on the screen; which means, one sees only 40% of the movie on the screen paying 100% for it; and one can also see any number or actors & actresses delivering their emotional speeches without their heads, half of their bodies & sometimes even staying invisible on the screen!! – 20-40% REDUCED/CUT MOVIES, SONGS-REMOVED/CUT MOVIES, LAST PART-STUCK MOVIES etc!


THESE QUALITY BUSINESS PEOPLE cheat the so-called quality conscious customers by offering discount cards, where discounts are always near to the INDIAN INVENTED ‘0’! They only give out platinum, gold & silver discount cards of their brands & give no discounts! They sell everything on M.R.P (M.R.P = Maximum Retail Price; A LOT OF TIMES EVEN ALTERING THE M.R.Ps UPWARD!!) & never ever say a word on M.R.P, which is the MINIMUM RETAIL PRICE! THESE SAME BUSINESS PEOPLE in some other field CHEAT THE SO-CALLED QUALITY CONSCIOUS CUSTOMERS by offering 115kpbs+ & only giving 5 to 15 kpbs max......they have been doing this for years now, with impunity! THESE SAME BUSINESS PEOPLE for years have been charging gullible customers – read everyone! – all over India by putting caller tunes & other so-called bullshit value added services etc on the mobile phones etc, without the persons asking for it, with total impunity! And, there are THESE SAME BUSINESS PEOPLE charging Rs.1 as FRIDGE CHARGES for 200grams, 400grams etc of milk, curd etc....! And, there are millions of other ways too THESE SAME BUSINESS PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO CHEAT, TRICK & DUPE THE EASILY GULLIBLE QUALITY CONSCIOUS SITTING CUSTOMER DUCKS! Let’s hope one day, like Ratnakara who changed himself to Valmiki to write Great Ramayana, THESE SAME CHEATING, TRICKING & DUPING BUSINESS PEOPLE will write some magnum opuses on CHEATING, TRICKING, DUPING etc which will last eons!