The Modern Indian Foodie!

The Modern Indian Foodie Has Become So Modern That The Complete Eating System Has Been Changed, taking a couple of decades! The modern system he introduced two score years ago has introduced a sea change that those who had any sort of eating habit before the present eating system got introduced will definitely find oneself utterly lost in the sea of change the Modern Indian Foodie introduced!

According to the Modern Day Indian Foodie & His Food Bible it is always ONLY something like how it’s served, who serves it, what type of attire the server has, what brand you had, was it from somewhere the TV or radio or newspaper advertisements continuously thunder about, was there soft music played by any western band, in the background, where did you have it-was it in the upscale/posh area, were there any bullshit celebrities around promoting what you ate, did you click some snaps with them while it was served, what brand you went into to have it, how was the interior, what is the reclining angle of the chairs there, on what wood the furniture is made of, what sort of chandeliers are used & how many, how good looking were the KINGS who served, did the hand driers spread eau de cologne in the air, how efficient & nice was the valet parking there, who all come/came with you there, what was the prize you pay/paid through your nose for it, how did the toilet look though you never use it there, what all unknown, unheard of things you had,how did the KING at the entrance salute you, how many times you have it from there, what was the angle of the server when he served it, how (dirty!?!) was the table cloth, did you go for Siberian starter, sub Saharan main, Norwegian dessert etc, kicking down & trampling on the worthless Indian ordinaries, have you taken the leftover for your dog in a parcel & did they charge you extra for that, were there any 3rd page buffoons in their buffoonery best, how many well to do were there while you had it, how much you dished out as tip etc etc that matter!

AND, THERE IS NEVER A how much you had, was it good or bad, was it to your liking or not, was it enough, was it tasty, what was it etc etc! When a couple of pieces of puppy shit are served under an international brand name, wrapped in gold & silver paper with the KING ‘deliciously’ serving them in a 180 degree angle, when dog meat is served ‘deliciously’ decorated as prime lamb in an international chain restaurant with the KING smiling ‘deliciously’ while serving in 90 degree angle, when the KING serves the rotten meat ‘deliciously’ fried in whatever oil available with a KING’s smile the Modern Indian Foodie is on cloud nine.....! Just be a part of an international brand....just be a part of a VERY MODERN INDIAN FOODIE GROUP....just be a part of the connoisseurs of food of each & every part of the world & be proud of it....just be a proud part of the most modern foodie group which eats worm to termite from Chine to Zambia.....just be a part of the much appreciated WORLD CULTURE OF BRANDED FOOD EATING, his mind mumbles! Shit with the Indian stuff, he screams aloud! It is pizza, burger, sandwiches, carbonated drinks & whatever shit in the name of a brand....3 cheers to them all... And hell with the Indian stuff.....!

As far as the Modern Indian Foodie (And According To His Modern Food Eating System, as well!), Hygiene is like pretending it fashionably! Taste is nothing but pretending it vociferously! The service is like pretending it as superficially as possible! Quality is another pretention in a million words- it is never ever found in the food served! Quantity is the pretentious minimum of the ordered thing that the Modern Foodie can discern whether it is what he/she ordered or not! And, to top it all the pricing is the magnanimous pretention of taking or lifting hard earned money as peanuts for the peanuts provided in the guise of serving jackfruits, apples, oranges, papayas & a million other things! Ofcourse, the 'somewhat' neatly folded tissue paper, tooth pick etc will be surely given as standard that one can stick the tooth pick into one's cavities in the mouth after having WHATEVER IS GIVEN IN THE NAME OF A BRAND OR SOMETHING & take back all the things eaten into the tissue paper provided!