Buying A Gadget...Buying A Malady!

When I saw him for the first time in the last ten or fifteen years, that too ONLY a couple of steps ahead of me in the 'Q' I was pleasantly surprised; the great man himself and that too these very long years after & just a few yards infront of me as a VERY COMMON MAN - The EQUALITY the great people envisioned all over the ages coming into existence infront of my very own humble eyes in Our Secular & Democratic India! I remembered what I learned in my childhood days 'There Is No Rich & No Poor Infront Of God...All Are Equals!' I thought whether I reached heavens & was I standing infront of the Almighty where nothing but Eternal Equality is seen?!

He was heard to be in all the places of the world, giving lectures on all the subjects under the Burning Sun! He had followers all over the world, it’s known! Whatever he says no one ever in the world had spoken before & whatever he told them on various platforms of the world was called wisdom distilled! The same man standing there, infront of me, carrying his top end laptop, infront of the Certified Fleecing Centre (CFC - No Chloro-Fluro-Carbons this time!) door as the Lords Of The Rings (Certified Fleecing Experts or CFEs!) perambulated inside the impregnable castle made or leased by the company from where he bought the TOP END LAPTOP, paying the TOP END CURRENCY from HIS TOP END POCKET, made things unreal for me!

I became very much interested when it came to my knowledge that all 'The Who Is Who' of the world I met in India, for the last couple of years, I met infront of or inside of some Certified Fleecing Centres somewhere in the Secular & Democratic India! And, all these people, 'The Who Is Who', have been regularly & systematically fleeced by the Fleecing Experts (FEs!) in these Fleecing Centres, spread all over India! It is heard that THIS WAITING IN 'Q's OUTSIDE OR INSIDE THESE CERTIFIED FLEECING CENTRES HAS BEEN MADE A CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT WHICH CAN NOT BE OR SHOULD NOT BE COMPROMISED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE! And, ‘Life In India as well as Death In India’ has become waiting in the ‘Q’s run by the Company Certified Fleecing Centres (CCFCs!) as THE UNLUCKLY - The One Billion Of India!- HAS BOUGHT A GADGET from the secular, democratic & modern markets of India!

Hence, the political parties which want to HAVE 'THE PEOPLE CONNECT' & THE ALL REGISTARING AGENCIES like Ration Card Suppliers, Duplicate or Fake Identity Providers (DFIPs!), Minority Card Suppliers, BPL Card Providers (BPLCPs!), Gas Connection Providers, UIDAIs or ADHAARs, NIRADHAARs etc have prepared the all inclusive NATIONAL LIST OF ALL THE GADGETS PEOPLE OF INDIA OWN that they can zero in on the 'Q's which probably can contain the person listed @ any particular moment of his or her LISTED BUT LISTLESS LIFE IN THE MODERN, SECULAR & DEMOCRATIC INDIA!

THIS ‘NATIONAL LIST OF ALL THE GADGETS PEOPLE OF INDIA OWN’ has become the most important list of all - They call it THE MOTHER OF ALL LISTS IN THE MODERN, SECULAR & DEMOCRATIC INDIA!- and everyone worth his or her salt is after it! For example the Hospitals are madly after it as according to THEIR (HOSPITALS’) THEORY OF RELATIVITY 'What The Person Buys - The Indigenously Built State Of The Art Gadget- Decides The Malady One Is Going To Have In His Or Her Life!' This 'Hospitals' Theory Of Relativity' is a very STRONG contestant for the next year's Medical & Economic Nobel Prizes!

The Insurance People always CHECK what gadgets the person who is going to be insured has with him that they can cancel out all the sorts of insurance covers from their side, in the sly, for the diseases coming out of the possession of gadgets in the insured's life! The Insurance People, now a days, ONLY WANT TO INSURE those people who don’t own any gadget & if other people want to insure with them they should pay 1000 times the original premium for a Non Gadgeter, as it is WRITTEN CLEARLY IN ILLEGIBLE MICROSCOPIC LETTERS in the million line terms & conditions, the insurance companies issue, which no living mortal has ever successfully read completely, till date!

It is scientifically proven beyond any doubt that when one buys a Laptop Computer, Mobile Phone, Battery of Anything, Motor Vehicle, Charger of Anything, Ordinary T.V, LED T.V, LCD T.V, Desk Top Computer, Camera, Scanner, Printer, Modem, Headphone, Pump Set, Inverter, Stabilizer, AC, Cooler, Gas Stove, Cooker, Radio, Time Piece, Clock , Fan, Water Pump, Water Tap, DVD Player, Refrigerator, Washing Machine, Dryer, DVD Drive, Hard Drive, Memory Stick, Watch or any of the million other gadgets available in the Secular & Democratic Markets of India ONE IS BUYING A MALADY FOR LIFE TO WHICH ONE WILL SUCCUMB SOONER OR LATER!

"The higher the price tag for your gadget the deadlier the malady you buy!" - The sentence taught in all the schools in the Secular & Democratic India-without having any differentiation such as State Syllabus, CBSE or ICSE- as a unique example of 'Comparative Degree'! As higher the price one pays the heavier one suffers from the WHOLESOME MISFUNCTION, MALFUNCTION & DISFUNCTION the gadget brings in with itself into the buyer’s life as its integral parts! It is also guaranteed that WHATEVER GADGET ONE BUYS IN THE MODERN, SECULAR & DEMOCRATIC INDIA WILL, FOR SURE, WITHOUT EXEMPTIONS, MAKE ONE’S LIFE INSUFFEREBLE LIKE HELL! All the gadgets purchased in India, from the next financial year onwards, will bring with the very limited & short-period guarantee card another card –For the first time ever in the world!- that will depict expansively with colourful photographs etc & guarantee the unique malady or the unique set of maladies one gadget carries or brings in with it when the SENSIBLE & QUALITY-ORIENTED CUSTOMER or BUYER BUYS IT FROM THE MODERN, SECULAR & DEMOCRATIC MARKETS OF INDIA!

High Blood Pressure, Coughing, Fever with a starting minimum of 1000 Degree Centigrade, Mad Cow Disease, Leprosy, Depression, Piles, Blindness, Amnesia, Fits, Heart Attack, Whooping Cough, Splitting Head Ache, Stroke, Parkinson Disease, 24/7 Itching, Lunacy, H1N1, PQRS, SWCK etc & more are just some of the maladies one can buy from the open, secular, democratic markets of India, for sometime now, WHERE THE PRICES OF THE MALADY IS DECIDED IN THE OPEN MARKET BY THE EXQISITE ‘DEMAND-SUPPLY THEORY’ OF PURE ECONOMICS!

Hospital chains (And ofcourse the secretly (Private) practising government doctors as well!) in large numbers are eagerly ready to partly finance the gadgets the Indians buy from the Indian Markets as according to the study conducted by ‘Stupid & Mad’ clearly illustrates that the bought gadgets will definitely bring in MORE VOLUMES OF PATIENTS WITH INCURABLE DISEASES, treating whom till they die the hospitals can hugely profit for generations! Understanding this Unique Selling Proposition (USP) the hospital chains are lobbying the Central Government to clear FDI in Gadget Financing For Hospitals (GFH!) that the Balance of Payment (BOP) Situation can be positively taken care of & balanced! It has also come to the common knowledge that the foreign hospital chains also have expressed their keen & earnest interest in this unique project – GFH- that THEY TOO CAN SERVE ‘THE DESERVING INDIANS’, AS THEY ARE EQUIPPED WITH MORE STATE OF THE ART GADGETS!