Buying A Gadget...Buying A Malady!

When I saw him for the first time in the last ten or fifteen years, that too ONLY a couple of steps ahead of me in the 'Q' I was pleasantly surprised; the great man himself and that too these very long years after & just a few yards infront of me as a VERY COMMON MAN - The EQUALITY the great people envisioned all over the ages coming into existence infront of my very own humble eyes in Our Secular & Democratic India! I remembered what I learned in my childhood days 'There Is No Rich & No Poor Infront Of God...All Are Equals!' I thought whether I reached heavens & was I standing infront of the Almighty where nothing but Eternal Equality is seen?!

He was heard to be in all the places of the world, giving lectures on all the subjects under the Burning Sun! He had followers all over the world, it’s known! Whatever he says no one ever in the world had spoken before & whatever he told them on various platforms of the world was called wisdom distilled! The same man standing there, infront of me, carrying his top end laptop, infront of the Certified Fleecing Centre (CFC - No Chloro-Fluro-Carbons this time!) door as the Lords Of The Rings (Certified Fleecing Experts or CFEs!) perambulated inside the impregnable castle made or leased by the company from where he bought the TOP END LAPTOP, paying the TOP END CURRENCY from HIS TOP END POCKET, made things unreal for me!

I became very much interested when it came to my knowledge that all 'The Who Is Who' of the world I met in India, for the last couple of years, I met infront of or inside of some Certified Fleecing Centres somewhere in the Secular & Democratic India! And, all these people, 'The Who Is Who', have been regularly & systematically fleeced by the Fleecing Experts (FEs!) in these Fleecing Centres, spread all over India! It is heard that THIS WAITING IN 'Q's OUTSIDE OR INSIDE THESE CERTIFIED FLEECING CENTRES HAS BEEN MADE A CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT WHICH CAN NOT BE OR SHOULD NOT BE COMPROMISED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE! And, ‘Life In India as well as Death In India’ has become waiting in the ‘Q’s run by the Company Certified Fleecing Centres (CCFCs!) as THE UNLUCKLY - The One Billion Of India!- HAS BOUGHT A GADGET from the secular, democratic & modern markets of India!

Hence, the political parties which want to HAVE 'THE PEOPLE CONNECT' & THE ALL REGISTARING AGENCIES like Ration Card Suppliers, Duplicate or Fake Identity Providers (DFIPs!), Minority Card Suppliers, BPL Card Providers (BPLCPs!), Gas Connection Providers, UIDAIs or ADHAARs, NIRADHAARs etc have prepared the all inclusive NATIONAL LIST OF ALL THE GADGETS PEOPLE OF INDIA OWN that they can zero in on the 'Q's which probably can contain the person listed @ any particular moment of his or her LISTED BUT LISTLESS LIFE IN THE MODERN, SECULAR & DEMOCRATIC INDIA!

THIS ‘NATIONAL LIST OF ALL THE GADGETS PEOPLE OF INDIA OWN’ has become the most important list of all - They call it THE MOTHER OF ALL LISTS IN THE MODERN, SECULAR & DEMOCRATIC INDIA!- and everyone worth his or her salt is after it! For example the Hospitals are madly after it as according to THEIR (HOSPITALS’) THEORY OF RELATIVITY 'What The Person Buys - The Indigenously Built State Of The Art Gadget- Decides The Malady One Is Going To Have In His Or Her Life!' This 'Hospitals' Theory Of Relativity' is a very STRONG contestant for the next year's Medical & Economic Nobel Prizes!

The Insurance People always CHECK what gadgets the person who is going to be insured has with him that they can cancel out all the sorts of insurance covers from their side, in the sly, for the diseases coming out of the possession of gadgets in the insured's life! The Insurance People, now a days, ONLY WANT TO INSURE those people who don’t own any gadget & if other people want to insure with them they should pay 1000 times the original premium for a Non Gadgeter, as it is WRITTEN CLEARLY IN ILLEGIBLE MICROSCOPIC LETTERS in the million line terms & conditions, the insurance companies issue, which no living mortal has ever successfully read completely, till date!

It is scientifically proven beyond any doubt that when one buys a Laptop Computer, Mobile Phone, Battery of Anything, Motor Vehicle, Charger of Anything, Ordinary T.V, LED T.V, LCD T.V, Desk Top Computer, Camera, Scanner, Printer, Modem, Headphone, Pump Set, Inverter, Stabilizer, AC, Cooler, Gas Stove, Cooker, Radio, Time Piece, Clock , Fan, Water Pump, Water Tap, DVD Player, Refrigerator, Washing Machine, Dryer, DVD Drive, Hard Drive, Memory Stick, Watch or any of the million other gadgets available in the Secular & Democratic Markets of India ONE IS BUYING A MALADY FOR LIFE TO WHICH ONE WILL SUCCUMB SOONER OR LATER!

"The higher the price tag for your gadget the deadlier the malady you buy!" - The sentence taught in all the schools in the Secular & Democratic India-without having any differentiation such as State Syllabus, CBSE or ICSE- as a unique example of 'Comparative Degree'! As higher the price one pays the heavier one suffers from the WHOLESOME MISFUNCTION, MALFUNCTION & DISFUNCTION the gadget brings in with itself into the buyer’s life as its integral parts! It is also guaranteed that WHATEVER GADGET ONE BUYS IN THE MODERN, SECULAR & DEMOCRATIC INDIA WILL, FOR SURE, WITHOUT EXEMPTIONS, MAKE ONE’S LIFE INSUFFEREBLE LIKE HELL! All the gadgets purchased in India, from the next financial year onwards, will bring with the very limited & short-period guarantee card another card –For the first time ever in the world!- that will depict expansively with colourful photographs etc & guarantee the unique malady or the unique set of maladies one gadget carries or brings in with it when the SENSIBLE & QUALITY-ORIENTED CUSTOMER or BUYER BUYS IT FROM THE MODERN, SECULAR & DEMOCRATIC MARKETS OF INDIA!

High Blood Pressure, Coughing, Fever with a starting minimum of 1000 Degree Centigrade, Mad Cow Disease, Leprosy, Depression, Piles, Blindness, Amnesia, Fits, Heart Attack, Whooping Cough, Splitting Head Ache, Stroke, Parkinson Disease, 24/7 Itching, Lunacy, H1N1, PQRS, SWCK etc & more are just some of the maladies one can buy from the open, secular, democratic markets of India, for sometime now, WHERE THE PRICES OF THE MALADY IS DECIDED IN THE OPEN MARKET BY THE EXQISITE ‘DEMAND-SUPPLY THEORY’ OF PURE ECONOMICS!

Hospital chains (And ofcourse the secretly (Private) practising government doctors as well!) in large numbers are eagerly ready to partly finance the gadgets the Indians buy from the Indian Markets as according to the study conducted by ‘Stupid & Mad’ clearly illustrates that the bought gadgets will definitely bring in MORE VOLUMES OF PATIENTS WITH INCURABLE DISEASES, treating whom till they die the hospitals can hugely profit for generations! Understanding this Unique Selling Proposition (USP) the hospital chains are lobbying the Central Government to clear FDI in Gadget Financing For Hospitals (GFH!) that the Balance of Payment (BOP) Situation can be positively taken care of & balanced! It has also come to the common knowledge that the foreign hospital chains also have expressed their keen & earnest interest in this unique project – GFH- that THEY TOO CAN SERVE ‘THE DESERVING INDIANS’, AS THEY ARE EQUIPPED WITH MORE STATE OF THE ART GADGETS!

ON INSURANCE, TAX, LOAN, INSURANCE COMPANIES, BANKS, INDIANS etc!

It seems that the people in India these days are more worried about their personal life, much more than their predecessors as they rush to take personal insurance! They also are so concerned about their homes as they make long queues infront of the home-insurance counters of various insurance companies. A large chunk of people's time is now a days spent on taking insurance like accident insurance, vehicle insurance, medical insurance & a hell lot of other insurances! It is genarally reffered to as the Spring of insurance in India!

The people are so much involved in the process of taking insurance that they always think, talk & write about insurance, its benefits, the greatness of the thing called insurance, the illitterates & stupids who don't have insurance, the suffering of those who are not so intelligent as the insured persons are etc They even sent Indian post cards to millions asking the reciever to post at the least 10 post cards each for the recieved one, narrating the gory stories of what happened to those who didn't send 10 post cards narratting the greatness of insurance, after recieving one! In the terrible stories we often read the stories like that of the person who didnt send the 10 post cards as required by the INSURANCE GOD/GODESS & sprained his right ankle THE VERY NEXT DAY, the woman who didnt send the 10 to wake up next morning with a severe tooth ache, the 37 year old man who didnt care about it to find himself in a very ugly situation where he COUGHED TWICE infront of a couple of people, the girl who teased it to find that her toffee was eaten by ants the same evening etc!

The Indian government has magnanimously promoted & supported the EXTREMELY STARVED INSURANCE INDUSTRY in such a way that THESE POOR GUYS SOMEHOW CONTINUE TO LIVE ON! If this industry is not there, it is believed that millions would have died silently & sufferingly all over India, AS HAD BEEN HAPPENING TILL JUST BEFORE THESE INSURANCE COMPANIES CAME TO INDIA! OH WHAT A STRUGGLE IT HAD BEEN, WE ARE TOLD! SOMEONE EVEN BELIEVED THAT THE INDIA GATE IS BUILT IN THE MEMORY OF THOSE WHO LOST THEIR LIVES DUE TO THE NON-EXISTANCE OF INSURANCE COMPANIES IN INDIA!

What the government never told us is that when we insure our home, paying exorbitant amounts, what we really make sure is that THE LAW & ORDER PEOPLE REST IN THEIR HOUSES -SLEEPING, EATING & AGAIN SLEEPING- as whatever losses one incures after one's home is insured automatically goes to the insurance company and WHAT THE LAW & ORDER PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO IS JUST FILING AN F.I.R & TAKE REST! The government always forget to tell us that when we take vehicle insurance what we make sure, paying heavily from our pockets, IS THAT ALL THE DAMAGES & PROBLEMS EMANATING FROM THE LOW QUALITY VEHICLE ONE BOUGHT PAYING HUGE AMOUNTS, THE EXTREMELY POOR QUALITY ROADS - THE RESEARCH WORKS ON HOW DEEP ONE CAN DIG ON A NO-PROBLEM ROAD IS FINDING NEW DIMENSIONS EVERY HOUR IN INDIA!-, SENSELESS DRIVING & ACCIDENTS CREATED BY THOSE WHO GOT LICENSES 'IN SOME WAYS' etc CAN BE 'TRIED' TO BE BRIDGED, SOMEHOW, AFTER THE SO-CALLED HEAVY DEPRECIATION & ALL!

The government also forgets always to tell us that when one takes medical insurance what one makes sure is THAT THE PERSONS IN ONE'S HOUSE CAN 'GET SOMETHING' AFTER THE INSURED PERSON'S DEATH etc & one can undergo whatever treatment irrespective of any qualitative & accurate verification -the sole verification being HOW MUCH AMOUNT CAN BE SPENT ON A PARTICULAR INSURED PERSON FOR MEDICINE & HOW CAN WE SPENT THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT ON THE INSURANCE FOR A PROBLEM THAT WILL VANISH IN NO TIME ONLY IF ONE TAKES SOME REST etc?!- till the cover ends or till one dies, whichever is earlier!!

GOVERNMENTS ETERNALLY HELP POOR STUDENTS & THEIR PARENTS by fixing the incom tax limit @ a paltry 1.6 lakh -It was a beggar's 1 lakh & less a couple of years ago!- & OFFER 'SIMPLE' EDUCATIONAL LOANS, WITH THE HELP OF THE MAGNANIMOUS BANKERS @ A VERY LOW INTEREST RATE OF AROUND 10%, FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY OF AVAILING 'THE SIMPLE & CONVENIENT' LOAN! For 'THE SIMPLE & CONVENIENT EDUCATION LOAN' if the MAGNANIMOUS BANKS are taking the land titles & other valuable things as guarantees, who can blame THE MAGNANIMOUS BANKS?! And, one should NEVER THINK THAT THESE TYPES OF 'NEVER MENTIONED & NEVER APPROVED THINGS' DONE BY THE MAGNANIMOUS BANKS ARE EVER KNOWN TO THE WELL INTENDED GOVERNMENTS! After all, what is a government for other than helping some poor banks & insurance companies GROW OUT OF THEIR POVERTY LINES & DEVELOP INDIA?!

IN INDIA IT IS A RULE THAT YOU SHOULD PAY THROUGH YOUR NOSES & GET THINGS DONE FOR THE WORTH OF A COUPLE OF PAISE! IN INDIA IT IS A RULE THAT YOU SHOULD FOLLOW WHATEVER STUPID RULE OR LAW THERE IS IF YOU ARE A COMMON MAN & YOU SHOULD NEVER 'EXPECT' -LET ALONE REALLY GETTING ANYTHING BACK!- ANYTHING LITERALLY FROM THE SO CALLED SYSTEMS EXISTING HERE! IN OTHER WORDS, THE COMMON MAN'S LIFE SHOULD BE 'DHAANA' -ANOTHER GREAT WORD INVENTED BY INDIANS LONG AGO!- OR SACRIFICE TO THE EXISTING STUPID SYSTEM & THE SYSTEM'S BASIC & ULTIMATE AIM IS THE GRADUAL & SYSTAMATIC ELIMINATION OF THE COMMON MAN, AFTER MAKING HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL!

A common man in India should be satisfied to pay road taxTHAT HE CAN TRAVEL ROLLER COASTER ALL HIS LIFE & IF LUCKY DIE IN ONE OF THE MILLIONS OF MARIANA TRENCHES THE ROAD DEPARTMENT HAS SPECIALLY CREATED FOR 'SOME VERY SPECIAL GUYS'! He should pay income taxTHAT SOMEONE NEVER KNOWN TO HIM CAN ENJOY HIS LIFE TO THE EXTREMS! He should pay gift tax THAT HE CAN GIVE WORTHLESS GIFTS TO OTHERS FROM THE ADULTARATORS' MARKET! He is THE SO CALLED LEGALLY BOUND TO PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX THAT HE CAN CONTINUE WORKING LIKE A PIG ALL HIS LIFE! He should pay the entertainment tax THAT HE CAN HAVE QUALITYLESS ENTERTAINMENT IN HIS LIFE! He should pay service tax (my god what service?!!) THAT ONE CAN DO WHATEVER HE LIKES & HE KNOWS -HE KNOWS NOTHING OF QUALITY HAS NEVER BEEN A BILLION DOLLAR DISCOVERY!- FOR HIM "AS SERVICE"!

The common man should pay educational cess (lord what education!) THAT HE & HIS CHILDREN CAN GET ANYTHING BUT REAL EDUCATION! He should pay property tax (property buying through one's nose etc!)THAT SOME VESTED INTERESTS CAN TAKE IT FROM HIM BY SOME TRICKS HE WONT UNDERSTAND & RENDER HIM LANDLESS ALL HIS LIFE, MOST OF THE TIMES ENTANGLING HIM IS NEVER ENDING LEGAL COBWEBS, TILL HE DIES! He should pay water tax (never mention what we drink as water!!!)THAT ONE CAN HAVE WASTE WATER IN ONE'S TAPS INSIDE ONE'S HOUSE 24/7! He should pay tax on pertrol & deisel (which became a drop a rupee!)THAT THE "NICE OWNERS OF THE PETROL PUMPS' CAN ADJUST THE PUMPS IN SUCH A MANNER THAT YOU GET PETROL ONLY FOR HALF THE AMOUNT YOU PAID & THAT TOO GREATLY & INNOVATIVELY ADULTERATED! He should pay tax on clothing (Of what quality!) THAT HE CAN GET CLOTHING WHICH JUST WITHER AWAY INFRONT OF HIS VERY OWN EYES IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS! He should pay tax on basic food items (where have those 'UNADULTERATED DAYS GONE?!)THAT THE GREAT ADULTARATERS OF YORE CAN DO GREAT THINGS IN SUCH A WAY THAT NO ONE INCLUDING HARRY HOUDINI FAIL IN IDENTIFYING THEM, SITTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MORTAL WORLD.....!

FIRST DIG DEEP & THEN "TRY" TO COVER.....FIRST MAKE SITUATIONS WHERE PEOPLE SUFFER LIKE HELL THEN "TRY" TO RECTIFY! "TRY" IS THE WORD TO LIVE WITH IN INDIA, WHERE A TO Z OFFICIALS, THE COMMON-MAN ELECTED GOVERNMENTS & 'THE TRYING SYSTEMS' THEY CREATED & IMPLEMENTED ARE INVOLVED IN 'TRYING' 24/7, TILL THE END OF DAYS!