Broad Daylight Thug Immortals @ Motorola Bangalore!

As there was no call from where I deposited my Motorola mobile phone more than 2 months back (13-12-11 to be exact!), I decided to go to the Certified Motorola Fleecing Centre @ Jayanagar on 15-02-12, which was exactly 2 months & 3 days after I committed the HIMALAYAN BLUNDER of giving a branded thing in that (Same!) brand’s certified fleecing centre!

We climbed up all the stairs to the top of the building & when I reached there with my wife it was 5.10 in the evening! There was not much difference in the basic environment provided as all the HELPFUL PERSONS I met in my first & the only previous visit there were promenading there as if they were EXTREMELY busy with assisting Lord Chitragupta in his pin pointed calculations of the sins committed by the mortals! As I reached the counter, I spelt the work number or code number as a magician chanting his private mantras! I was asked to be seated for a couple of minutes that they could find out my poor Moto RAZR V 3i from the bundles of sins committed by the Motorola Customers!

I sat patiently there as for me it (Waiting!) didn’t bother much as I had been waiting for the call from the men of Lord Chitragupta Motorola all these 63 days! As I sat there I saw hapless mortals approaching the HEPL DESK & GETTING BRIEFED on the various sins committed against the Finnish God Of Motorola! All the Motorola Sinners seemed to be nodding their heads in the wholesome agreement for each & every negative comment uttered by the ALL KNOWING IMMORTALS @ THE HELP DESK! Time didn’t seem to be stopping @ the Finnish God’s Abode as well and after 10 or 15 minutes of Heavenly Time being spent there I humbly asked one of the Moron Looking Helpdesk Immortals about the whereabouts of my Sinned Mobile! He was shell shocked as no mortal ever dared to question his authority & asked for anything, leave alone a mobile phone; distraught he strained his face & going inside the closed door of Heavenly Calculators came back with My Sinned Motorola Mobile!

The mobile wore a nasty look as it was well clear that it was spending all its night & days with the other Sinner Mobiles in the Finnish Purgatory, some of them more sinner than the other, all the last 65 Hellish Days! The Moron Immortal told me that “the Mobile Is Sinned Beyond Any Repair, as its Soul Is Completely gone the Hellish Way” & nothing could be done to redeem it from the hell hole its worthy to be thrown into! Despite the Moron Immortal’s words I became the Knight in the Shining Armour who would do anything to save The Sinned Mobile From The Eternal Hell Hole! I shouted at the Moron Immortal that He & His Company Immortals had not even checked what the problem was & He was just saying what came first into His Immortal Mind; Moron Immortal stood there motionless as He knew that the Knight in the Shining Armour was perfectly right! At this trapped situation for the Moron Immortal the Guardian Angel Of The Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar appeared from nowhere & told me that She Herself would take the mobile inside to have the verification & asked ‘Me In The Shining Armour’ to wait for 10 or so minutes; as we should not shout at the Guardian Angels, as I was taught in my childhood days, I kept mum!

The hands of the clock in the Motorola Heaven showed Time moving in seconds & minutes...I sat there waiting for the Angel Motorola to come back with my Sinned Mobile suggesting some panacea! I saw Sinned Motorola Customers & Other Mobile Sinners coming there with their Branded Sinned Mobiles to find the Eternal Way to Heaven; I saw Sinners Giving Anything above 1500/- as bribe for those Sinned Mobiles which were Supposed To Have Been Rectified by the Motorola & Other Brand Immortals; I saw the Sinners giving Rs 1800/-, 2750/-, 3400/- etc to the Immortals & the Immortals taking all of it as Their Eternal Right! I saw most of ‘the Sinners who Paid the Bribe’ never asking for a bill as it seemed the bill was an avoidable evil which would reduce the chances of a salvation! No one wanted to have a bill for what was paid for one’s salvation these days as there was a Service Tax of 10.3% levied by the Immortals if one was going for an invoice!

At last, when it was 6.30pm the Guardian Angel Of The Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar appeared at the Help Desk & my name was uttered; I with all the due respects reached the counter where SHE explained that My Sinned Mobile’s Mother Board Was Gone & the cable which went to the screen also was broken & beyond any sort of repair! But, as a solution for my Hellish Problem, the Guardian Angel whispered that one thing was possible, in my ears! I could give the Guardian Angel Rs 2500/- that She could CHANGE THE MOTHER BOARD & THE CABLE IN NO TIME & GIVE IT BACK TO ME THAT ONLY THE SHELL OF MY SINNED MOBILE WOULD BE IN MY HAND & ALL THE REST INSIDE WOULD BE CHANGED BY THE GUARDIAN ANGEL! I am sure there was Honey in Her Voice, My Dear Guardian Angel Of The Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar! But, as I was well aware of ‘The Honey Traps’ from the media I didn’t go for it & asked The Angel to give back my sinned mobile!

She insisted that if I didn’t have the money then & there I could have left it within Her Immortal Protection for the day & take it back the very next day when I could come back with money! As I insisted on getting it back without doing ‘The Rs 2500/- purgation then & there or the next day, the Guardian Angel Of The Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar asked me to pay Rs 150/- ( Which would ‘SURELY’ be adjusted in the Rs 2500/- I would pay if I get My Sinned Mobile repaired in the Motorola Heavens @ Jayanagar, in a couple of days!) for ‘the Quality Checking & Analysis & Services’ provided by the Motorola Immortals, which till that moment was NEVER EVEN MENTIONED IN THE LAST MORE THAN 2 MONTHS!

As Thunder From Out Of The Blue I asked for the bill, if I had to be LOOTED by the MOTOROLA IMMORTALS (As I asked for ‘Bills’ ONLY on certain Immortal Situations Which Should Be Recorded!) and all those @ the Immortal Motorola Help Desk almost fainted listening to the Sinful Word ‘Bill’! I kept insisting on the ‘Bill’ & under the oath that I would provide 10.3% additional to the Rs 150/- ‘Bill’, I got the ‘Bill’ from the Motorola Immortals!

I paid Rs 150/- + 10.3% & taking My Sinned Irreparable Motorola V3 i & the ‘Bill’ & PROMISING THAT I WOULD DEFENITLY COME BACK THE VERY NEXT DAY TO REPAIR MY SINNED MOBILE PAYING Rs 2500/-, I ran down the steps of the Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar, with my wife!

When we cleared the last step of the Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar & landed on the ground it was 6.45pm & we knew we had spent more than 1hour & 30 minutes of ‘Our Useless Time’ in The Motorola Heavens Up Above! We moved near to the Jayanagar 4th Block Bus Station & in one of the ‘False Heavens Run By The Motorola Uncertified’ I explained the problem of My Motorola Sinned Phone! Though the guy at the ‘False Heaven Run By The Motorola Uncertified’ didn’t even look at My Sinned One, as he was busy with another Sinned Phone Problem, he asked me to buy an ERD Charger & charge My Sinned One that all my problems would vanish; and for the Charger (Various charges for Quality Non-Checking , Contemptuous Avoidance Of Touching The Sinned Phone, Light-minded Approach Towards The Sinned One, Negligence Towards The World Famous Brand, Unceremonious Welcome Provided for The Customer etc were also included, I think!) he took A HEFTY CHARGE OF Rs 100/- ( In Words ........Hundred Indian Rupees ONLY!)!

Taking the new charger we went back home & charged the Sinned One for 2 hours the same night; and till date (Today being 26-02-12) it’s been working without any problem whatsoever! I didn’t ever know that a charger can CURE THE INCURABLE PROBLEMS OF MOTHER BOARD, FATHER BOARD, SISTER BOARD & THE RELATIVE BOARDS IN ONE STRIKE; I PROMISE I NEVER KNEW A CHARGER CAN SOLVE THE ETERNAL PROBLEMS MY SINNED INSIDE MOBILE CABLE HAD! It should be some sort of a magic or something supernatural happened when I bought the Rs 100/- worth charger from the UNCERTIFIED MOTOROLA PEOPLE!

I know & strongly believe that there will still be large number of people visiting the Motorola Heavens @ Jayanagar with their Sinned Branded Ones and spending thousands of hard earned money, without ever having the ‘Sinful Bill’, for the SINS THEIR MOBILES NEVER EVER COMMITTED! I know & strongly believe that the Guardian Angel, The Moron Immortal & All The Other Immortals @ the Motorola Heavens @ Jayanagar will still be charging (‘Fleecing’ seems to be the right word!) the hapless people who come to their ‘Branded Fleecing Centre Heaven’ for the sins committed by others, INCLUDING THE IMMORTALS @ THE MOTOROLA HEAVENS @ JAYANAGAR, BANGALORE!

Related Reading : http://viewcrackers.blogspot.com/2012/01/burning-hp-motorola-etc.html

Burning HP, Motorola etc!

I bought a laptop from HP (Hewlett Packard) a couple of years back, paying the full amount, never bargaining for the price tag! I got a free carry bag with the lap top! I wondered why ever the company should give a free carry bag when every one looks to squeeze the life out of the buyer! I simply didn’t understand!

The person who handed over the lap top & the bag smiled after checking the amount I paid, a couple of times....I considered it good customer care etc etc I read in many ‘HOW TO’ books, which I gathered cheaply from the footpath! I loved to think that the same books I took from the footpath must have been read by the sales persons & the person who sat stoically at the cash counter as well, as their behaviour was the same what I read in those ‘HOW TO’ books on marketing, customer care, selling, handling the curious customer etc! I smirked at the thought that they too must have gone for those pirated copies of all those ‘HOW TO’ books which come cheap as they are GENUINLY COPIED from the GENUENLY ORIGINAL! It was a feeling of brotherhood or better I should call it the Brotherhood of Pirates!

Smilingly when I left the H.P store seldom did I knew that why they smiled was totally for some other reason than what I thought of, like the sales & marketing etiquette of the sublime nature etc....But, for that to dawn on me it took a couple more days of my life! But, when I understood the reason of their smile & the free gift of carry bag it was already very much late.......!

A couple of days after I successfully purchased the laptop something stopped working; I don’t remember what it was! I carried it to the shop I bought it from! All the people in the shop were busy selling the HP laptops to the buyers & giving them free carry bags! I waited till I grabbed the attention of an attention grabber who told me to wait for some more time that they could come to me after selling the laptops with the free carry bag & attend to my problem. I waited and after around one hour or so someone came to me, who looked like a person who failed miserably in selling any of the laptops with the free carry bag that particular day!

I told the problem to him & he all of a sudden told me that it SHOULD BE taken to the NEAREST ORIGINAL HP SERVICE STATION which is 10 kilometres away from me, as all the problems would be solved by the experts there! And, if I dared to take the risk, he continued, he could try his hands at problem solving; I readily agreed as taking the thing again to the ORIGINAL HP SERVICE CENTRE would take another couple of hours away from my life. He, as a master magician, kept opening some windows & closing some, intermittently, as I kept my vigil over...he seemed to work as one possessed.....And, at last he set the things right by clicking the ‘going back to the default settings'! Though all the software I loaded after purchasing the laptop went for a toss I got the problem for which I went there solved! I put the laptop back into FREE CARRY BAG & giving him truck loads of 'THANKS' left to reload all the software I had loaded before the expert hit the 'Back to Default Settings' button!

I didn’t have time to go to the ORIGINAL SERVICE STATION OF HP in the 1 year guarantee period, despite small problems related to my laptop continuously creeping up on my nerves! I just tried to wish the problems away & kept on with whatever I had to do, though I suffered mentally thanks to the performance of my newly acquired HP laptop! Before crossing the one year guarantee period, all of a sudden, my DVD drive stopped working & as I didn’t have time to focus on this problem I kept it disturb me continuously! Whenever I wanted to watch a movie or so I would switch on my other HP Laptop which I rarely used as it was a just15.4" against our Lead Role 17", of which I have been writing over! I kept the problem persist for another 1 year or more & when I felt free to take it in the FREE CARRY BAG, I took it to the ORIGINAL SERVICE STATION OF HP!

When I entered the service station, the guard at the entrance asked me a hell lot of questions that I thought I would have cleared the IAS examination if I would have known answers to all the queries he readily dished forth! He asked questions to me like he was questioning a criminal who had just murdered the CEO of HP! When I entered, after the quizzing, I was asked to collect a coupon & wait there till I was called. I obliged as there were no other option as I saw a very large number of people who waited there patiently, with their empty FREE CARRY BAGS in their laps!

When my turn came, I went to a counter where I was told by an Original HP Service Personnel that I had to give him 250/- for just checking the problem & to verify whether what I told them as problem was a problem at all! I obliged the Original HP Service Personnel & then he took my 17" laptop inside; I waited for the result! After 20+ minutes the Original HP Service Personnel, who took the laptop inside after collecting a Verification Charge of 250/-, came to the counter & beckoned me there to inform me the GREAT FINDING that as I told him it was a problem with the DVD drive & I had to fix the problem ONLY by changing the mother board as the DVD drive was integrally fused with the mother board & the Original HP Service Personnel couldn’t repair it separately and the bill would be somewhere around 25000/-! I thought what they charged for repair was something like 100 times the checking fee! I took the lap top back from the Original HP Service Personnel & walked away to something/somewhere more sensible things happen!

I consulted a Non Original HP Service Personnel & he told me that I could buy a USB DVD drive for around 4000/- & watch whatever movie I wished to watch on my 17"! The next moment I bought one Samsung USB DVD drive & went home, with a sweet feeling of saving a minimum of 21000/- from an Original HP Service Alligator!

But my happiness didn’t last long; my 17" hard drive crashed shortly after & I was in the danger of losing whatever data I had in the laptop; I reached the Original HP Service Station & I was told that they didn’t take THESE KINDS OF WORK and asked me to contact a particular Non Original HP Service Personnel who’s visiting card the Original HP Service Personnel provided me; obviously the Original HP Service Personnel had commission from the Non Original HP Service Personnel if ever I reached there & got fleeced!

I didn’t go to the Originally HP Recommended Place & got it done for 2000/- as I was sure I would have been forced to part with my entire savings for that work to be done in the secret place of the Non Original HP Service Personnel, recommended by the Original HP Service Personnel! Within months, HP 17" struck again! This time the screen went blank! As usual, I went to the Original HP Service Centre where I had been told that it would lighten my purse by around 20000/-! I went to my Non Original HP Service Personnel & got the screen changed for 5000/-, saving 15000/- in the process! Misery hit me again within months in the shape of battery failure; the battery failed to get charged. This time I didn’t go to the Original HP Service Personnel; I took it direct to a Non Original HP Service Personnel who gave me a NON Original HP battery for 2500/- which would have cost me my fixed deposit if I would have gone to the Original HP Service Centre! Now what ORIGINALS I have on my Original HP 17" Laptop are the shell of the laptop & motherboard, nothing else! The DVD player, Screen, Battery, Hard Drive & all are Non Original HP Products & they are working fine for the last more than 1 year!

Now, what I am concerned is about the motherboard which is the ONLY ORIGINAL WORKING THING on the OTHERWISE GREATLY PERFORMING NON ORIGINAL 17" HP Laptop! And, I regularly have nightmares on meeting one of my close friends who bought the same HP 17” on My Very Serious Recommendation! Till date he has changed his battery, screen (Twice!), DVD Drive etc & now is involved in a last ditch battle to save the chipset & motherboard! Now I perfectly understand why those people years back gave the carry bag free & why the sales persons smiled when I bought it 3 or 4 years back, as they then & there knew the people like me who bought these sorts of laptops would be running around carrying their laptops regularly to the Original HP Service Centres - SHOULD SAY 'ORIGINAL (OR HP CERTIFIED )FLEECING CENTRES'!- for this problem or that till they burn their laptops in public & live reclusive lives in the far away islands where they will never see even the sign of HP, again!

Special Note!

It is STRONGLY suggested that BURNING THE PRODUCT IN A PUBLIC PLACE is the one & only choice for all the customers of international brands in India! What the customers here in India always get is Ill Treatment, Misbehaviour, Arrogance, Qualityless & Stupid Analysis of the Problems the Customer Is Facing with the Product Bought, Reckless & Inefficient Repair, Extremely Greedy Customer Care & Service Centres etc!

I gave my Motorola Razor i3 to Fine Fone Solutions, #397/86, 2nd Floor, 11th Main, Jayanagar 3rd Block, Bangalore 11 (Ph:- 080 - 26634554, 26634555, 26634556, 26536477, 26536488) on 13-12-11, travelling almost 25 kilometres! I told the service centre people that the mobile was not getting charged & when connected to a charging slot it keeps blinking. When I reached there, there were only 3 customers & all the people who were with the centre were roaming there as free as birds in the sky, as they were only shifted from Infantry Road not much before!

I asked them to check the mobile then & there itself that I could have collected the info on the problem there itself that I could decide on the next step! The person who collected the phone from me, who was just seen whiling away time there, told me that as a lot of work was pending they would only be able to check it the next day & they would call me the next day to inform me about the solution & then according to my opinion move forward, in the matter of repairing the mobile.

As, I didn’t get any call from the centre till 5 ‘O’ clock next evening I called them & they told me that they were still in the process of checking it & they would give me a call as soon as they finished checking! But that call didn’t come.....I have been waiting till date for them to call me, today being 25-01-12! And, now I am seriously thinking about BURNING MY MOTOROLA, after taking back the mobile from the stupid fellows @ the fleecing centre, as well with the HP Laptop @ a public place that people come to know what is actually happening to “The Customer King”!