Broad Daylight Thug Immortals @ Motorola Bangalore!

As there was no call from where I deposited my Motorola mobile phone more than 2 months back (13-12-11 to be exact!), I decided to go to the Certified Motorola Fleecing Centre @ Jayanagar on 15-02-12, which was exactly 2 months & 3 days after I committed the HIMALAYAN BLUNDER of giving a branded thing in that (Same!) brand’s certified fleecing centre!

We climbed up all the stairs to the top of the building & when I reached there with my wife it was 5.10 in the evening! There was not much difference in the basic environment provided as all the HELPFUL PERSONS I met in my first & the only previous visit there were promenading there as if they were EXTREMELY busy with assisting Lord Chitragupta in his pin pointed calculations of the sins committed by the mortals! As I reached the counter, I spelt the work number or code number as a magician chanting his private mantras! I was asked to be seated for a couple of minutes that they could find out my poor Moto RAZR V 3i from the bundles of sins committed by the Motorola Customers!

I sat patiently there as for me it (Waiting!) didn’t bother much as I had been waiting for the call from the men of Lord Chitragupta Motorola all these 63 days! As I sat there I saw hapless mortals approaching the HEPL DESK & GETTING BRIEFED on the various sins committed against the Finnish God Of Motorola! All the Motorola Sinners seemed to be nodding their heads in the wholesome agreement for each & every negative comment uttered by the ALL KNOWING IMMORTALS @ THE HELP DESK! Time didn’t seem to be stopping @ the Finnish God’s Abode as well and after 10 or 15 minutes of Heavenly Time being spent there I humbly asked one of the Moron Looking Helpdesk Immortals about the whereabouts of my Sinned Mobile! He was shell shocked as no mortal ever dared to question his authority & asked for anything, leave alone a mobile phone; distraught he strained his face & going inside the closed door of Heavenly Calculators came back with My Sinned Motorola Mobile!

The mobile wore a nasty look as it was well clear that it was spending all its night & days with the other Sinner Mobiles in the Finnish Purgatory, some of them more sinner than the other, all the last 65 Hellish Days! The Moron Immortal told me that “the Mobile Is Sinned Beyond Any Repair, as its Soul Is Completely gone the Hellish Way” & nothing could be done to redeem it from the hell hole its worthy to be thrown into! Despite the Moron Immortal’s words I became the Knight in the Shining Armour who would do anything to save The Sinned Mobile From The Eternal Hell Hole! I shouted at the Moron Immortal that He & His Company Immortals had not even checked what the problem was & He was just saying what came first into His Immortal Mind; Moron Immortal stood there motionless as He knew that the Knight in the Shining Armour was perfectly right! At this trapped situation for the Moron Immortal the Guardian Angel Of The Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar appeared from nowhere & told me that She Herself would take the mobile inside to have the verification & asked ‘Me In The Shining Armour’ to wait for 10 or so minutes; as we should not shout at the Guardian Angels, as I was taught in my childhood days, I kept mum!

The hands of the clock in the Motorola Heaven showed Time moving in seconds & minutes...I sat there waiting for the Angel Motorola to come back with my Sinned Mobile suggesting some panacea! I saw Sinned Motorola Customers & Other Mobile Sinners coming there with their Branded Sinned Mobiles to find the Eternal Way to Heaven; I saw Sinners Giving Anything above 1500/- as bribe for those Sinned Mobiles which were Supposed To Have Been Rectified by the Motorola & Other Brand Immortals; I saw the Sinners giving Rs 1800/-, 2750/-, 3400/- etc to the Immortals & the Immortals taking all of it as Their Eternal Right! I saw most of ‘the Sinners who Paid the Bribe’ never asking for a bill as it seemed the bill was an avoidable evil which would reduce the chances of a salvation! No one wanted to have a bill for what was paid for one’s salvation these days as there was a Service Tax of 10.3% levied by the Immortals if one was going for an invoice!

At last, when it was 6.30pm the Guardian Angel Of The Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar appeared at the Help Desk & my name was uttered; I with all the due respects reached the counter where SHE explained that My Sinned Mobile’s Mother Board Was Gone & the cable which went to the screen also was broken & beyond any sort of repair! But, as a solution for my Hellish Problem, the Guardian Angel whispered that one thing was possible, in my ears! I could give the Guardian Angel Rs 2500/- that She could CHANGE THE MOTHER BOARD & THE CABLE IN NO TIME & GIVE IT BACK TO ME THAT ONLY THE SHELL OF MY SINNED MOBILE WOULD BE IN MY HAND & ALL THE REST INSIDE WOULD BE CHANGED BY THE GUARDIAN ANGEL! I am sure there was Honey in Her Voice, My Dear Guardian Angel Of The Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar! But, as I was well aware of ‘The Honey Traps’ from the media I didn’t go for it & asked The Angel to give back my sinned mobile!

She insisted that if I didn’t have the money then & there I could have left it within Her Immortal Protection for the day & take it back the very next day when I could come back with money! As I insisted on getting it back without doing ‘The Rs 2500/- purgation then & there or the next day, the Guardian Angel Of The Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar asked me to pay Rs 150/- ( Which would ‘SURELY’ be adjusted in the Rs 2500/- I would pay if I get My Sinned Mobile repaired in the Motorola Heavens @ Jayanagar, in a couple of days!) for ‘the Quality Checking & Analysis & Services’ provided by the Motorola Immortals, which till that moment was NEVER EVEN MENTIONED IN THE LAST MORE THAN 2 MONTHS!

As Thunder From Out Of The Blue I asked for the bill, if I had to be LOOTED by the MOTOROLA IMMORTALS (As I asked for ‘Bills’ ONLY on certain Immortal Situations Which Should Be Recorded!) and all those @ the Immortal Motorola Help Desk almost fainted listening to the Sinful Word ‘Bill’! I kept insisting on the ‘Bill’ & under the oath that I would provide 10.3% additional to the Rs 150/- ‘Bill’, I got the ‘Bill’ from the Motorola Immortals!

I paid Rs 150/- + 10.3% & taking My Sinned Irreparable Motorola V3 i & the ‘Bill’ & PROMISING THAT I WOULD DEFENITLY COME BACK THE VERY NEXT DAY TO REPAIR MY SINNED MOBILE PAYING Rs 2500/-, I ran down the steps of the Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar, with my wife!

When we cleared the last step of the Motorola Heaven @ Jayanagar & landed on the ground it was 6.45pm & we knew we had spent more than 1hour & 30 minutes of ‘Our Useless Time’ in The Motorola Heavens Up Above! We moved near to the Jayanagar 4th Block Bus Station & in one of the ‘False Heavens Run By The Motorola Uncertified’ I explained the problem of My Motorola Sinned Phone! Though the guy at the ‘False Heaven Run By The Motorola Uncertified’ didn’t even look at My Sinned One, as he was busy with another Sinned Phone Problem, he asked me to buy an ERD Charger & charge My Sinned One that all my problems would vanish; and for the Charger (Various charges for Quality Non-Checking , Contemptuous Avoidance Of Touching The Sinned Phone, Light-minded Approach Towards The Sinned One, Negligence Towards The World Famous Brand, Unceremonious Welcome Provided for The Customer etc were also included, I think!) he took A HEFTY CHARGE OF Rs 100/- ( In Words ........Hundred Indian Rupees ONLY!)!

Taking the new charger we went back home & charged the Sinned One for 2 hours the same night; and till date (Today being 26-02-12) it’s been working without any problem whatsoever! I didn’t ever know that a charger can CURE THE INCURABLE PROBLEMS OF MOTHER BOARD, FATHER BOARD, SISTER BOARD & THE RELATIVE BOARDS IN ONE STRIKE; I PROMISE I NEVER KNEW A CHARGER CAN SOLVE THE ETERNAL PROBLEMS MY SINNED INSIDE MOBILE CABLE HAD! It should be some sort of a magic or something supernatural happened when I bought the Rs 100/- worth charger from the UNCERTIFIED MOTOROLA PEOPLE!

I know & strongly believe that there will still be large number of people visiting the Motorola Heavens @ Jayanagar with their Sinned Branded Ones and spending thousands of hard earned money, without ever having the ‘Sinful Bill’, for the SINS THEIR MOBILES NEVER EVER COMMITTED! I know & strongly believe that the Guardian Angel, The Moron Immortal & All The Other Immortals @ the Motorola Heavens @ Jayanagar will still be charging (‘Fleecing’ seems to be the right word!) the hapless people who come to their ‘Branded Fleecing Centre Heaven’ for the sins committed by others, INCLUDING THE IMMORTALS @ THE MOTOROLA HEAVENS @ JAYANAGAR, BANGALORE!

Related Reading : http://viewcrackers.blogspot.com/2012/01/burning-hp-motorola-etc.html

Paying Taxes Via Thugs, Cheats, Adulterators, Whores, Kidnappers and others!

The finance minister is thinking night & day to introduce new taxes & bring more & more persons & services under the tax net in the oncoming budget! It is heard that he eats less & sleeps less & burns the midnight oil as well, these days – remember the oil costs much more than in the good old nasty days of slower moments & slower everything!

In the good old nasty days people had to spent at the least a couple of weeks to file their tax returns that ‘the powers that be’ wasted the amount collected in myriads of methods they indigenously conceived! Then came faster return filings through internet & other MODERN TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS that the respective & respectable governments can gather ‘whatever is due’ as fast as possible & waste even the last single paisa of it in no time; everything became much faster!

‘Taxes have to be paid’ is common knowledge as it is only these DUELY GIVEN TAXES are there in the avarice coffers of the respective & at the same time respectable governments to be spent senselessly – from the perspective of the Common Man! - & intelligently – from the spenders’ perspective & made sure that not a single paisa is left behind in the greedy coffers that the coffers themselves gobble it up! As it is reported in the media a million times that the governments are always well aware of those ‘ANTI NATIONAL ANIMALS/ELEMENTS’ which always skip the TAXING PROCESS! Hence, mopping up the DUE TAXES, somehow, has become the most urgent & all important job a finance minister has to do in his life time! He knows pretty well that even if he blinks for a second or two crores of ‘taxes due’ would go up in the wind; hence he has to become ALERT & ATTENTION PERSONIFIED!

As he doesn’t trust much the present modern technologically advanced system in the matter of collecting the taxes, he has entrusted everyone in the country to collect the taxes somehow & prove their LOYALTY TO THE NATION! And, that is the very thing happening in our country where, now a days, we have ‘the most modern facility to pay our taxes’ through the thugs, cheats, adulterators, whores, kidnappers, anti social elements, goondas, mafia, blackmarketeers, pirates, greedy policemen (very common these days due to the technological, economical & cultural elevation of the society & much improved living standard & conditions - according to the turbaned prime minister!), public servants –those who serve (themselves!) publically! - & a million others!

Hence, all the persons in India, as it has become an unwritten law, has the right & responsibility to collect taxes & put whatever they collect in the every greedy coffers of the respective & respectable governments! That is why the person who buys the 80% adulterated milk -with urea, whitener & other indigenous materials- has to pay the DUE TAXES to the government via those who adulterated what he buys & drinks; that’s why those who have been buying ‘ATTA’ all these years have been ceremoniously taxed by the respective & respectable governments though what the buyer bought & fed their generations was adulterated with Benzoic Acid 400 times more than what is permitted & Bleaching Powder 2000 times more than what is permitted (It is claimed by the governments & the authorities who permit ‘what to mix to adulterate democratically’ that the common man is getting FREE NUTRITION UNDER VARIOUS GOVERNMENT SCHEMES in the forms of Benzoic Acid & Bleaching Powder etc!)!

That is why one has to pay the service tax of 10.3% to the service centre thug who just did nothing but keeping the thing you had given for checking for more than 2 months & unashamedly gave it back - when you went there to find out whether the thing you had given has germinated or what!?- saying that the repair would lighten your pockets by a fewer thousands of rupees for a non-existent problem (He must be a very strong believer of ‘Sarwam Maya Jagath Mithya’ theory, as he had fixed the photo of the god who said it in some other context, in his fleecing -For him service & fleecing are the same- centre that the TAX EVADING CUSTOMERS come to know what is going to happen to them who EVADE TAXES!’) etc!

That is why the person who is kidnapped or the persons related to him have to pay the service tax of 10.3% on the ransom given to the kidnappers for the quality services –kidnapping included! - rendered by them! That is why the person who needs a receipt from the whore to keep it as the memorabilia of his first sexual encounter has to cough up an additional 10.3% service tax for the services rendered by her, if one wants a bill -the option of NOT ASKING THE BILL IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE WITH HER FOR THOSE WHO STILL WANTS TO CHEAT THE GOVERNMENT COFFERS! The professional cheats & robbers also has become the tax collecting centres of late as they too charge you with a service tax of 10.3% in addition to the service charge –The Materials They Steal From You Included!- they take for the great services rendered without your permission & knowledge, and that ofcourse ONLY IF you ask for a bill from them!

The law abiding & enforcing policemen would give a receipt, that too only if you insist on one, charging a service tax of additional 200/- on a 100/- bill, for parking your bike accidently on the wrong side of the road where a number of other vehicles were also parked –For the wrong side parking the bill is only 100/- & the bill which is given to you is printed in the law enforcing & abiding honourable police man’s own printing press behind his simple garage of 10 Rolls Royses, which he bought BY EKING OUT ‘small small’ AMOUNTS from the MEAGRE SALARY HE DREW FROM THE PUBLIC COFFERS are common knowledge- & never charged is another matter!

Now a days, whenever one gives a bribe to have anything in one’s favour – Even if one is entitled to what one asks for!- the bribe taker –All over India it is followed traditionally & systematically by the various unions of bribe takers as they are very eager to fill the ever greedy government coffers!- always take an additional 10.3% more from the bribe giver as he is a Constitutionally, Legally, Morally, & TAXINGLY correct person who puts the 10.3% service tax collected from the bribe giver directly into the much starved coffers of the government, which some say is 40% below the poverty line, though the governments all over the years have been passionately & vehemently arguing that the government coffers are ONLY A SINGLE DIGIT below the poverty line!

Lets us hope for the best for the tax collecting system we have here in our SECULAR, SOCIALIST, BRIBE-TAKING INDIA! Let’s hope that every person living in India pays the taxes in time even though one is GIVEN NOTHING IN RETURN & WHATEVER ONE GETS IS THE ADULTARATED, THE DUPLICATE, THE TOXIC, THE ILLUSORY, NEVER VALUE FOR MONEY, THE SUB STANDARD, CHEATING, TRICKING, STEALING etc! And, let’s keep giving OUR TAXES properly that OUR GOVERNMENTS can loot us in a very systematic & well designed way, till the end of days!