ISI - MARK OF INDIA OR PAKISTAN?!

From Kashmir issue to Kargil War to Parliament attack to Mumbai 29/11 everything is attributed to ISI, the Inter Services Intelligence of Pakistan! One seriously doubts what their counter parts in India are doing! Slowly the Indians start to develop a fear or can we say an admiration towards ISI as they get away with whatever they do & keep repeating things which always hurt India & Indians where it hurts most!

When the ‘Bribe Taking Inspector of Police’ (B-TIP, as he is ‘fondly’ called!) caught the rider of the bike on not wearing a helmet & tried to ‘charge him something underhand’ he didn’t budge even a single iota & started to sing 'Vande Matharam' & all at the top f his voice that all the other residents of that locality dashed to the CRIME SITE! There they saw a bike rider without a helmet caught by the Bribe Taking Inspector Of Police (B-TIP) & singing, at the top of his voice, Great Patriotic Songs of Yore! The Bribe Taker painstakingly tried to stop his chanting; but as he thought whether he would be suspended for 'The Crime Against The State' (As the so called offender was singing great patriotic songs non stop!) he didn’t become his usual self who always kicked the so called (‘Alleged’ in the media terms!) offenders under the belly & where it hurts most, without ever causing any mark of an injury, first & talked later!

As there came a soothing slow down in the law offender biker’s top pitch patriotic singing, people  who gathered in large numbers started to ask the alleged offender biker what the problem was. He with his Patriotic Arrogance & Pride told them that the bribe taker (B-TIP) asked him to be an Anti India & Anti Patriotic! And, he continued saying that the bribe taker has asked him to wear a helmet while riding a bike & that too WITH THE MARK OF THE PAKISTANI INTELLIGENCE SEVICE - ISI - on it, which he could not tolerate & he will never! And, he elaborated, to all those around him who lapped up whatever he said the very instant he spat it out, that it is because he is a Patriotic Indian he is harassed by this ISI Agent who always promotes ISI & Their nefarious designs!

The helpless & patriotically cornered police inspector or the so called B-TIP, out of his pathetic state he was in, asked, as a compromise, the Patriotic Offender to start wearing a helmet without the ISI mark, which was against the Indian Traffic Rules & Regulations, which he was reminded of by his Bribe Taking Subordinate (BTS!)! But, not listening to him, the B-TIP pointed out that more than 80% of the helmets in the country are NOT ISI Marked; and, hence, the biker could have gone for a helmet which never had the PAKISTANI DESIGN on it to protect his head & by that his precious life, in case he meets with an accident & never have his great patriotic sentiments bruised!

The B-TIP even made it clear that India is a country where only the rider will DIE due to NOT WEARING a helmet if met with an accident & the pillion rider will escape unhurt & keep living though he or she fails to wear a helmet & meets with a deadly accident, as LEGALLY death can catch ONLY the rider -and never a pillion rider!- as according to the traffic rule book! The B-TIP reminded the ‘Alleged’ Offender & all those who gathered there –who bayed for the unpatriotic blood of the B-TIP!- that in India it is only those without an ISI Marked Helmet can & are permitted to die, if met with a deadly accident, while the pillion rider, despite not having a helmet to cover his or her head, will keep living as death cannot take him or her under the all prevailing & forceful Indian Traffic Rules! 

The All Knowing Common Man's question is if the ISI Mark on the helmet can save a life & the rule book says ‘ONLY ISI Marked Helmets’ can be worn why all these fuss about ISI?! He seriously doubts that the media, government & all are trying to sabotage the good image of ISI to have some secret political mileage as how can a life saver (ISI) be life destructive?! And, he asks if ISI Mark is OK with helmets then why the ‘ISI Marked’ (Made, Circulated & Marketed By ISI!) Indian Fake Currency Notes can’t be accepted nationwide & the agents who make the ISI Mark in the matter of Fake Indian Currency in India given Bharat Rathnas?!

The All Knowing Common Man also urges that all the people in India who OWE COMPLETE & UNWAVERING ALLEGIANCE to Pakistani ISI (The Fact That They Are In Crores doesn’t seem to bother him!) should be considered ‘MORE INDIAN’ than the others & WHATEVER DEMANDS THEY MAKE 24/7 SHOULD BE MET, UNGRUDGINGLY! He also adds that the Kandahar Plane Hijacking & all should be seen in a very positive light & the terrorists freed then should be considered Great Servicemen as they had been working 24/7 for ISI, which stands for great quality of Life, always!

FOOT NOTE:-

It is scientifically proven beyond any doubt that it is the ‘ISI Mark’ that saves thousands of lives in India & not, as has been popularly believed all these decades, the quality of the helmet worn! Hence, to save the life of a biker, in the case of an accident happening, the ONLY DIFFERENTIATING ASPECT which segregates Life from Death is an ‘ISI Mark’ and nothing more! Hence, it can be positively deemed that just sticking an ISI Mark on the fore head or any part of one’s head, however tiny it may look, will be the Ultimate Protection one needs while riding a bike; and the trouble making helmets can be phased out in time!

 

And, all those people who make Non ISI Standard Helmets & sell them all in the open market to the easily gullible so called common men of India as ISI Standard Helmets, just by sticking an ISI Sticker on to them,  should be appreciated & honoured, as they are doing a great work in the times of Government Propelled Inflation of double digits, as they make the helmets reachable to the commonest of the common men & cost effective and save millions of lives from the unpredictable & deadly accidents, thanks to the ISI Stickers they pasted on them! But, despite all these raging discussions, explanations, elaborations, briefing & all, for the common men of India one very serious doubt remains : whether ‘ISI’ is Indian or Pakistani ?!

Paying Taxes Via Thugs, Cheats, Adulterators, Whores, Kidnappers and others!

The finance minister is thinking night & day to introduce new taxes & bring more & more persons & services under the tax net in the oncoming budget! It is heard that he eats less & sleeps less & burns the midnight oil as well, these days – remember the oil costs much more than in the good old nasty days of slower moments & slower everything!

In the good old nasty days people had to spent at the least a couple of weeks to file their tax returns that ‘the powers that be’ wasted the amount collected in myriads of methods they indigenously conceived! Then came faster return filings through internet & other MODERN TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS that the respective & respectable governments can gather ‘whatever is due’ as fast as possible & waste even the last single paisa of it in no time; everything became much faster!

‘Taxes have to be paid’ is common knowledge as it is only these DUELY GIVEN TAXES are there in the avarice coffers of the respective & at the same time respectable governments to be spent senselessly – from the perspective of the Common Man! - & intelligently – from the spenders’ perspective & made sure that not a single paisa is left behind in the greedy coffers that the coffers themselves gobble it up! As it is reported in the media a million times that the governments are always well aware of those ‘ANTI NATIONAL ANIMALS/ELEMENTS’ which always skip the TAXING PROCESS! Hence, mopping up the DUE TAXES, somehow, has become the most urgent & all important job a finance minister has to do in his life time! He knows pretty well that even if he blinks for a second or two crores of ‘taxes due’ would go up in the wind; hence he has to become ALERT & ATTENTION PERSONIFIED!

As he doesn’t trust much the present modern technologically advanced system in the matter of collecting the taxes, he has entrusted everyone in the country to collect the taxes somehow & prove their LOYALTY TO THE NATION! And, that is the very thing happening in our country where, now a days, we have ‘the most modern facility to pay our taxes’ through the thugs, cheats, adulterators, whores, kidnappers, anti social elements, goondas, mafia, blackmarketeers, pirates, greedy policemen (very common these days due to the technological, economical & cultural elevation of the society & much improved living standard & conditions - according to the turbaned prime minister!), public servants –those who serve (themselves!) publically! - & a million others!

Hence, all the persons in India, as it has become an unwritten law, has the right & responsibility to collect taxes & put whatever they collect in the every greedy coffers of the respective & respectable governments! That is why the person who buys the 80% adulterated milk -with urea, whitener & other indigenous materials- has to pay the DUE TAXES to the government via those who adulterated what he buys & drinks; that’s why those who have been buying ‘ATTA’ all these years have been ceremoniously taxed by the respective & respectable governments though what the buyer bought & fed their generations was adulterated with Benzoic Acid 400 times more than what is permitted & Bleaching Powder 2000 times more than what is permitted (It is claimed by the governments & the authorities who permit ‘what to mix to adulterate democratically’ that the common man is getting FREE NUTRITION UNDER VARIOUS GOVERNMENT SCHEMES in the forms of Benzoic Acid & Bleaching Powder etc!)!

That is why one has to pay the service tax of 10.3% to the service centre thug who just did nothing but keeping the thing you had given for checking for more than 2 months & unashamedly gave it back - when you went there to find out whether the thing you had given has germinated or what!?- saying that the repair would lighten your pockets by a fewer thousands of rupees for a non-existent problem (He must be a very strong believer of ‘Sarwam Maya Jagath Mithya’ theory, as he had fixed the photo of the god who said it in some other context, in his fleecing -For him service & fleecing are the same- centre that the TAX EVADING CUSTOMERS come to know what is going to happen to them who EVADE TAXES!’) etc!

That is why the person who is kidnapped or the persons related to him have to pay the service tax of 10.3% on the ransom given to the kidnappers for the quality services –kidnapping included! - rendered by them! That is why the person who needs a receipt from the whore to keep it as the memorabilia of his first sexual encounter has to cough up an additional 10.3% service tax for the services rendered by her, if one wants a bill -the option of NOT ASKING THE BILL IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE WITH HER FOR THOSE WHO STILL WANTS TO CHEAT THE GOVERNMENT COFFERS! The professional cheats & robbers also has become the tax collecting centres of late as they too charge you with a service tax of 10.3% in addition to the service charge –The Materials They Steal From You Included!- they take for the great services rendered without your permission & knowledge, and that ofcourse ONLY IF you ask for a bill from them!

The law abiding & enforcing policemen would give a receipt, that too only if you insist on one, charging a service tax of additional 200/- on a 100/- bill, for parking your bike accidently on the wrong side of the road where a number of other vehicles were also parked –For the wrong side parking the bill is only 100/- & the bill which is given to you is printed in the law enforcing & abiding honourable police man’s own printing press behind his simple garage of 10 Rolls Royses, which he bought BY EKING OUT ‘small small’ AMOUNTS from the MEAGRE SALARY HE DREW FROM THE PUBLIC COFFERS are common knowledge- & never charged is another matter!

Now a days, whenever one gives a bribe to have anything in one’s favour – Even if one is entitled to what one asks for!- the bribe taker –All over India it is followed traditionally & systematically by the various unions of bribe takers as they are very eager to fill the ever greedy government coffers!- always take an additional 10.3% more from the bribe giver as he is a Constitutionally, Legally, Morally, & TAXINGLY correct person who puts the 10.3% service tax collected from the bribe giver directly into the much starved coffers of the government, which some say is 40% below the poverty line, though the governments all over the years have been passionately & vehemently arguing that the government coffers are ONLY A SINGLE DIGIT below the poverty line!

Lets us hope for the best for the tax collecting system we have here in our SECULAR, SOCIALIST, BRIBE-TAKING INDIA! Let’s hope that every person living in India pays the taxes in time even though one is GIVEN NOTHING IN RETURN & WHATEVER ONE GETS IS THE ADULTARATED, THE DUPLICATE, THE TOXIC, THE ILLUSORY, NEVER VALUE FOR MONEY, THE SUB STANDARD, CHEATING, TRICKING, STEALING etc! And, let’s keep giving OUR TAXES properly that OUR GOVERNMENTS can loot us in a very systematic & well designed way, till the end of days!