The Billion Instant Parliaments Of India!

Law Mouther = A Person Who Mouths Something To Create A Law!
Loanee = A Person Who Has Taken Loan!

Nobody knows about the thousands & thousands of instant parliaments (And ofcourse, millions of Parliamentarians!) in India who pass thousands of laws every moment & create another thousand the very next and so on....these laws are the laws of the land...every square inch of land....every square centimetre of our land - India!

These laws of Law Mouthers are born the very moment somebody of some authority- including the chaparasi even!- opens his or her mouth in front of a person who wishes to do something, wants something from these so called authorities, seek permission for anything etc or else simply move on in life! These laws are the laws born the same moment any of the above mentioned things happen! These are the Real Laws which run our country and not, as one supposes, the laws passed by our Indian Parliament! These are the laws which get executed faster than the photons or in the common man's language light! The very moment the law is uttered it is almost at the same time executed or at the least at the same moment started to be executed by the person who listen to the Law-Mouther!

The Law Mouther is a legend that whatever comes from his or her mouth is law which should be executed without question! He or she can be a rag-picker, an electricity board employee, a post man, a call centre employee of a mobile phone operator, a cleaner, a school teacher, a house wife, a person who deals in used magazines & news paper, the man who prepares Masala Dosai, the person who brings gas, the conductor in the road transport corporation, the person who repairs one's computer and millions of others...... it can be anybody & everybody...it can be here, there & everywhere....it can be any time of the day & night....we see these One Second Parliament-in-Existence or Law Mouther every second of our life! We have to be very happy living among millions of parliaments in a land of millions of instant parliamentarians, Law-Mouthers, instant judges & judgements, law executioners etc.....our land India!

The law of Law-Mouthers are faster than lightening...its something like now its here...now its not....its something like an Ariel which cannot ever be caught or scientifically, with all the sorts of scientific proof, proven! The law of the Law Mouther says that if you park a bike horizontally in a parking area, where parking is free, with another number of bikes parked in the same way, it can be whisked away by the hooligan towers of the police department & charge you with whatever amount they wish to charge without giving you a receipt; it says that if you are found speeding -the measurement being the very naked eye of a police constable!- you can be charged according to the financial condition -read whether the star crossed policeman has two wives & six kids, an instalment to pay for the luxury car he has bought, the number of bottles he empties in the evening at a high end bar near by, the amount he has to get for the admission of his sixth son etc etc- of the policeman or men in the situation!

It says that your this proposal or that proposal will be outrightly rejected unless & until you pay the amount to buy some grease for the concerned authority’s hands & head that they can be moved in an affirmative way; it says that your phone line will be disconnected if you failed to produce the required documents -they change intermittently from time to time!- for the millionth time; it says that a loanee can be tricked by every trick in a Bank's Trick book - something like ‘simply’ adding some amounts without any reason & logic to the basic amount, ‘simply’ increasing the interest rates without saying anything to the loanee citing something technical & non understandable, ‘simply’ doubling the interest rate without the knowledge of the loanee citing some intricate Mouth Law points from the Law Book of Law-Mouthers etc- till he is drained of everything in his life, as he had to sign under all the undecipherable Hieroglyphics presented in front of him in volumes, written in microscopic letters, without asking any question, to get a thousand rupee loan at an RBI recognised & registered rate of a MEAGER 15-20%+, depending on the pathetic condition the loanee is in etc!

It says that any employee, even the most uncivilised & lowest graded one among them, can Mouth A Law which should be obeyed to the syllable by every devotee of the prayer houses like temples & churches etc; it says that even a panchayath board, which is very low in every positive source like education level, cultural level, sense level, thought level, vision level, understanding level etc can Law-Mouth anything abysmal in quality and implement it in India -like they can impose a hefty fine on a person or institution because they simply dislike him or it, continuously engage one in never ending legal battles senselessly using the tax payers’ money because he/she failed to fit in their lifeless/qualityless SCHEMES OF THINGS, cancel certain allotments & registration, deny permission on a million things etc; it says that an auto wallah can charge you anything under the Sun Law Mouthing a billion things including calling you names etc! What ‘the Law of the Law Mouther’ basically states is that any Law Mouther can deny anything to anyone without any reason what so ever in Democratic India, using the Law Mouther’s Uncontrollable & Unrestrained Powers Vested In Every Law Mouther in India!


I was seriously in doubt whether the Anna Hazare team & their Lok Pal Bill will take into their fold these millions of Law Mouthers who’s Kingdom (sorry Democracy!) is here & now! What will they do or better put what can they do to these millions of Law Mouthers & how will Anna & his team suppose to control these millions of Local Parliamentarians -in the sense that they create laws & keep creating them as has been going on in the Indian Parliament!- and make them accountable for billions of laws they make & execute, all over India?! Who will control these Law Mouthers like the one who deliberately forgets to give you back the changes he owes you in the form of a bus conductor or the person who repairs the object you have given him into a worse form to Law Mouth something charging you the heavens or the doc who Law Mouths to deny any hand in the death of a patient who was admitted in the hospital & died of sheer medical negligence or a train engine driver or a bus driver or an auto driver who Law Mouths to justify the couple of hours delay he caused to you etc etc?!

While I was talking about these millions of Law Mouthers what they said seemed to be more entertaining & factual! They said it is something like what these people say becomes law of the land and it is only a matter of time the Indian Parliament ratifies whatever they say now & here! They also pointed out that all the parliamentarians in the Indian Parliament are ONLY the representatives of these Law-Mouthers, who elected them through a very democratic process called parliamentary election, every five years! They also had a complaint that their contributions towards the World of Law is never recognised & appreciated, world over! They didn’t forget to add that these millions of Law Mouthers are the pillars of our modern day democracy which is pushed forward (Somehow?!!) by the Law Mouther's Elected Lawmakers in the Indian Parliament & the Other People Who Follow Them On Dotted Lines!

ON INSURANCE, TAX, LOAN, INSURANCE COMPANIES, BANKS, INDIANS etc!

It seems that the people in India these days are more worried about their personal life, much more than their predecessors as they rush to take personal insurance! They also are so concerned about their homes as they make long queues infront of the home-insurance counters of various insurance companies. A large chunk of people's time is now a days spent on taking insurance like accident insurance, vehicle insurance, medical insurance & a hell lot of other insurances! It is genarally reffered to as the Spring of insurance in India!

The people are so much involved in the process of taking insurance that they always think, talk & write about insurance, its benefits, the greatness of the thing called insurance, the illitterates & stupids who don't have insurance, the suffering of those who are not so intelligent as the insured persons are etc They even sent Indian post cards to millions asking the reciever to post at the least 10 post cards each for the recieved one, narrating the gory stories of what happened to those who didn't send 10 post cards narratting the greatness of insurance, after recieving one! In the terrible stories we often read the stories like that of the person who didnt send the 10 post cards as required by the INSURANCE GOD/GODESS & sprained his right ankle THE VERY NEXT DAY, the woman who didnt send the 10 to wake up next morning with a severe tooth ache, the 37 year old man who didnt care about it to find himself in a very ugly situation where he COUGHED TWICE infront of a couple of people, the girl who teased it to find that her toffee was eaten by ants the same evening etc!

The Indian government has magnanimously promoted & supported the EXTREMELY STARVED INSURANCE INDUSTRY in such a way that THESE POOR GUYS SOMEHOW CONTINUE TO LIVE ON! If this industry is not there, it is believed that millions would have died silently & sufferingly all over India, AS HAD BEEN HAPPENING TILL JUST BEFORE THESE INSURANCE COMPANIES CAME TO INDIA! OH WHAT A STRUGGLE IT HAD BEEN, WE ARE TOLD! SOMEONE EVEN BELIEVED THAT THE INDIA GATE IS BUILT IN THE MEMORY OF THOSE WHO LOST THEIR LIVES DUE TO THE NON-EXISTANCE OF INSURANCE COMPANIES IN INDIA!

What the government never told us is that when we insure our home, paying exorbitant amounts, what we really make sure is that THE LAW & ORDER PEOPLE REST IN THEIR HOUSES -SLEEPING, EATING & AGAIN SLEEPING- as whatever losses one incures after one's home is insured automatically goes to the insurance company and WHAT THE LAW & ORDER PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO IS JUST FILING AN F.I.R & TAKE REST! The government always forget to tell us that when we take vehicle insurance what we make sure, paying heavily from our pockets, IS THAT ALL THE DAMAGES & PROBLEMS EMANATING FROM THE LOW QUALITY VEHICLE ONE BOUGHT PAYING HUGE AMOUNTS, THE EXTREMELY POOR QUALITY ROADS - THE RESEARCH WORKS ON HOW DEEP ONE CAN DIG ON A NO-PROBLEM ROAD IS FINDING NEW DIMENSIONS EVERY HOUR IN INDIA!-, SENSELESS DRIVING & ACCIDENTS CREATED BY THOSE WHO GOT LICENSES 'IN SOME WAYS' etc CAN BE 'TRIED' TO BE BRIDGED, SOMEHOW, AFTER THE SO-CALLED HEAVY DEPRECIATION & ALL!

The government also forgets always to tell us that when one takes medical insurance what one makes sure is THAT THE PERSONS IN ONE'S HOUSE CAN 'GET SOMETHING' AFTER THE INSURED PERSON'S DEATH etc & one can undergo whatever treatment irrespective of any qualitative & accurate verification -the sole verification being HOW MUCH AMOUNT CAN BE SPENT ON A PARTICULAR INSURED PERSON FOR MEDICINE & HOW CAN WE SPENT THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT ON THE INSURANCE FOR A PROBLEM THAT WILL VANISH IN NO TIME ONLY IF ONE TAKES SOME REST etc?!- till the cover ends or till one dies, whichever is earlier!!

GOVERNMENTS ETERNALLY HELP POOR STUDENTS & THEIR PARENTS by fixing the incom tax limit @ a paltry 1.6 lakh -It was a beggar's 1 lakh & less a couple of years ago!- & OFFER 'SIMPLE' EDUCATIONAL LOANS, WITH THE HELP OF THE MAGNANIMOUS BANKERS @ A VERY LOW INTEREST RATE OF AROUND 10%, FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY OF AVAILING 'THE SIMPLE & CONVENIENT' LOAN! For 'THE SIMPLE & CONVENIENT EDUCATION LOAN' if the MAGNANIMOUS BANKS are taking the land titles & other valuable things as guarantees, who can blame THE MAGNANIMOUS BANKS?! And, one should NEVER THINK THAT THESE TYPES OF 'NEVER MENTIONED & NEVER APPROVED THINGS' DONE BY THE MAGNANIMOUS BANKS ARE EVER KNOWN TO THE WELL INTENDED GOVERNMENTS! After all, what is a government for other than helping some poor banks & insurance companies GROW OUT OF THEIR POVERTY LINES & DEVELOP INDIA?!

IN INDIA IT IS A RULE THAT YOU SHOULD PAY THROUGH YOUR NOSES & GET THINGS DONE FOR THE WORTH OF A COUPLE OF PAISE! IN INDIA IT IS A RULE THAT YOU SHOULD FOLLOW WHATEVER STUPID RULE OR LAW THERE IS IF YOU ARE A COMMON MAN & YOU SHOULD NEVER 'EXPECT' -LET ALONE REALLY GETTING ANYTHING BACK!- ANYTHING LITERALLY FROM THE SO CALLED SYSTEMS EXISTING HERE! IN OTHER WORDS, THE COMMON MAN'S LIFE SHOULD BE 'DHAANA' -ANOTHER GREAT WORD INVENTED BY INDIANS LONG AGO!- OR SACRIFICE TO THE EXISTING STUPID SYSTEM & THE SYSTEM'S BASIC & ULTIMATE AIM IS THE GRADUAL & SYSTAMATIC ELIMINATION OF THE COMMON MAN, AFTER MAKING HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL!

A common man in India should be satisfied to pay road taxTHAT HE CAN TRAVEL ROLLER COASTER ALL HIS LIFE & IF LUCKY DIE IN ONE OF THE MILLIONS OF MARIANA TRENCHES THE ROAD DEPARTMENT HAS SPECIALLY CREATED FOR 'SOME VERY SPECIAL GUYS'! He should pay income taxTHAT SOMEONE NEVER KNOWN TO HIM CAN ENJOY HIS LIFE TO THE EXTREMS! He should pay gift tax THAT HE CAN GIVE WORTHLESS GIFTS TO OTHERS FROM THE ADULTARATORS' MARKET! He is THE SO CALLED LEGALLY BOUND TO PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX THAT HE CAN CONTINUE WORKING LIKE A PIG ALL HIS LIFE! He should pay the entertainment tax THAT HE CAN HAVE QUALITYLESS ENTERTAINMENT IN HIS LIFE! He should pay service tax (my god what service?!!) THAT ONE CAN DO WHATEVER HE LIKES & HE KNOWS -HE KNOWS NOTHING OF QUALITY HAS NEVER BEEN A BILLION DOLLAR DISCOVERY!- FOR HIM "AS SERVICE"!

The common man should pay educational cess (lord what education!) THAT HE & HIS CHILDREN CAN GET ANYTHING BUT REAL EDUCATION! He should pay property tax (property buying through one's nose etc!)THAT SOME VESTED INTERESTS CAN TAKE IT FROM HIM BY SOME TRICKS HE WONT UNDERSTAND & RENDER HIM LANDLESS ALL HIS LIFE, MOST OF THE TIMES ENTANGLING HIM IS NEVER ENDING LEGAL COBWEBS, TILL HE DIES! He should pay water tax (never mention what we drink as water!!!)THAT ONE CAN HAVE WASTE WATER IN ONE'S TAPS INSIDE ONE'S HOUSE 24/7! He should pay tax on pertrol & deisel (which became a drop a rupee!)THAT THE "NICE OWNERS OF THE PETROL PUMPS' CAN ADJUST THE PUMPS IN SUCH A MANNER THAT YOU GET PETROL ONLY FOR HALF THE AMOUNT YOU PAID & THAT TOO GREATLY & INNOVATIVELY ADULTERATED! He should pay tax on clothing (Of what quality!) THAT HE CAN GET CLOTHING WHICH JUST WITHER AWAY INFRONT OF HIS VERY OWN EYES IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS! He should pay tax on basic food items (where have those 'UNADULTERATED DAYS GONE?!)THAT THE GREAT ADULTARATERS OF YORE CAN DO GREAT THINGS IN SUCH A WAY THAT NO ONE INCLUDING HARRY HOUDINI FAIL IN IDENTIFYING THEM, SITTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MORTAL WORLD.....!

FIRST DIG DEEP & THEN "TRY" TO COVER.....FIRST MAKE SITUATIONS WHERE PEOPLE SUFFER LIKE HELL THEN "TRY" TO RECTIFY! "TRY" IS THE WORD TO LIVE WITH IN INDIA, WHERE A TO Z OFFICIALS, THE COMMON-MAN ELECTED GOVERNMENTS & 'THE TRYING SYSTEMS' THEY CREATED & IMPLEMENTED ARE INVOLVED IN 'TRYING' 24/7, TILL THE END OF DAYS!

Bank Demons Of India!

Even 2 months after the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) reduced the Cash Reserve Ratio (CRR), the banks are maintaining the high interest rates they have been charging for around 2 years now! It is pathetic to know that the authorities and the government have turned a blind eye towards this, one should say, criminal act! All these banks -including the nationalised banks- had hugely increased the interest rates on the Already Loan Taken Customers, citing a million reasons, a couple of years back! All those poor guys, who took the loans at around 7% woke up one fine morning learning that they are paying around 11% or more on the loans taken at the FIXED INTEREST RATE of around 7%!

As they -most of them- had taken loans for the time durations of 15-20+ years and they had no options at their disposal to clear off the debt just at the same moment - as they were not Bill Gates, Ambanis, Soroses & Buffetts - they knew the LARGE SCALE CHEATING with the support of the POWERS THAT BE, they have been forced to pay whatever percent of interest the banks have been FORCEFULLY SQUEEZING OUT OF THEIR EXISTANCE! They were shown some charts and writings in HYROGLIPHICS & CUNIFORM to prove that there is a situation that forces the banks to SQUEEZE THEIR EXISTANCE HARD! A lot of persons defaulted and banks collected their BOOTY and swelled their bottom lines! The prices of the bank shares sky rocketed and there were wars waged on Dalal Street to corner a chunk of the Heavenly Priced Bank Shares, as they plundered the poor, hapless customers!

Then, there was a lending spree...! Great offers were showered on unsuspecting persons that they jump from the top of a precipice, believing in the false promises & offers of the Banks Turned Demons and found themselves scattered in at the least 25 cents of land area! Great Offers were promised most of the time in the upper brackets of 18% and more! They MARKETED BULLSHIT in beautifully decorated covers, for princely sums! There were more than enough FINANCIAL INSTRUMENTS in the market to CATER TO THE BRILLIANT CUSTOMERS - That was what the poor, unsuspecting, easily gullible customers were called in those days! Everybody, even those without having any need of BORROWED MONEY, took hundreds of thousands paying 18, 19, 20 and more percent of interest! Borrowing money for insensibly stupendous rate of interest became a fashion statement; it would be better, if we say, such foolish things were promoted as FADS by the banks & the media! And, the SUPREME BEING GOVERNMENT never uttered a word about the LOOTTING/FLEECING of the customers!

Then, there were GREAT PROMOTIONS RUN to develop the sense of spending using CREDIT CARDS! This CONVENIENT INSTRUMENT was promoted as the BE ALL & END ALL OF ALL THE GREAT THINGS in the financial industry! People were offered credit for JUST AS LITTLE AS 2.5 to 3 percent of interest, on credit cards! People, who didn’t have money to buy anything paying cash, resorted to THIS QUALITY BORROWING METHOD with ONLY 2.5 to 3 percent of interest! Very soon after the borrowing they understood, it would have been better to be an ABHIMANYU IN THE CHAKRAVYUHA than a borrower using credit card, as, even if there were chances of ESCAPE FROM THE CHAKRAVYUHA no one ever escaped from the credit card induced borrowing, which made millions heavily incapacitated & mortally damaged! What the POOR BRILLIANT CUSTOMERS seldom knew when they borrowed on the credit card, PAYING ONLY 2.5 or 3 PERCENT INTEREST was they pay THIS PALTRY PERCENT of INTEREST for a month and not a year, as the usual practice of interest calculation is! Hence, most of them paid 36% to 46% of interest annually for the amount they borrowed using credit card! And, here too, the SUPREME BEING GOVERNMENT never uttered a word about the LOOTTING/FLEECING of the unsuspecting & defenceless customers!

Then came THE CRUNCH! As people say, "All these things started in the U.S!" People were told THE CRUNCH won’t come to India, as it is not at all interested in coming to India as it is FULLY AMERICAN! But, as usual, against the GREAT PREDICTIONS of the FINANCIAL VISIONARIES of INDIA it found its way to India! People started feeling the pinch; they lost jobs; they reduced spending; they reduced borrowing etc. Money almost disappeared from the market as RBI tightened its grip on the money circulation to curtail a rising inflation rate; it increased the CRR of the banks. Citing THIS REASON banks increased the interest rates again! People almost stopped borrowing at exorbitant rates, thrust upon the poor, defenceless customer! With the inflation under control and spending on the downward spiral, RBI reduced the CRR substantially! The very next moment BANK DEMONS reduced the interest rates of all the deposits they have taken, saying they have huge surpluses due to the CRR REDUCTION! But those, who borrowed from the banks, were forced to PAY INTEREST THROUGH THEIR NOSES, continuously! They never got any reduction in the rates in which they pay their interest! They could not understand why the BANK DEMONS are not willing to reduce the rate of interest for their old customers, as they have been paying hugely excessive rates of interest for the money taken on a totally different & substantially lower rate of interest, years back! They even failed to understand the logic which states 'when there is a rise in CRR there is a huge rise in the interest rates and when there is a downward spiral in CRR there is NO REDUCTION IN THE INTEREST RATES!' Whoever said "Sarvam Maya..Jagath Mithya!" must be right here too, as these POOR BORROWERS understand at their own peril! It is time to re write John Keats as we see the Modern Day Knight Being Told "La Demon Bank Sans Merci...Hath Thee In Thrall!"